Thursday, March 1, 2018

The Cottage (2008)

"The Cottage" is a British 'backwoods' horror-comedy that has more working against it than for it. It seemed like certain things could have been taken out and this would've worked a bit better, but, as is, it's basically an inept hodgepodge of crappy humor and lame-ass cliches.

Two brothers kidnap a crime boss's stepdaughter and hold her for ransom in a cottage out in the country. Both guys - though opposites as far as personalities; one being a spineless pansy and the other being a more 'tough' guy - are incredibly incompetent, with their captive repetitively getting the better of them. Things become more bungling when her fat idiot brother - who is in on it for a portion of the ransom money - shows up and things go to shit even further when she escapes and they all happen upon a deformed psycho farmer living nearby...

Had it not been for the completely out-of-place, kiddie-comedy sounding music popping up a bunch during the first half of the film, I felt the humor aspects (which take up a considerable amount of the film) would've worked better. The interactions between the brothers and the third accomplice is actually the best thing the movie has going for it, aside from the aforementioned musical accompaniment that's straight out of a fucking "Home Alone" movie. When things shift over into "horror" territory, however, things start feeling very unoriginal and forced; almost like the movie, as a whole, could've done without it and just been a 'dark' crime-comedy. The few kill scenes and gore are pretty basic and the killer is generic, if not SILLY looking. "The Cottage" is pretty much a bore-fest that fumbled heavily with its "horror" material.

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