Saturday, March 30, 2013

V/H/S (2012)

I think the "found footage" sub-genre can pretty much close out on this note. Now that those weak-ass "Paranormal Activity" flicks are finally tapering off, I'm thinkin' we can look back fondly at "V/H/S" as a worthy conclusion to a popular modern horror 'trend'. At least, that's the way I'd prefer it...

The wrap-around for this 'mockumentary'-style anthology deals with a group of miscreants with a camcorder who are trying to make money by recording bullshit home-movies of them pulling unsuspecting women's shirts up and smashing up abandoned buildings. General raucous behavior, pretty much. They're given a job from an unknown party to break into an old man's house and steal a certain video tape. The old man is slumped in a chair, seemingly dead and surrounded by TV monitors and tapes, so the thieves start rummaging through the stacks and begin playing some of the videos...

The first video (directed by David Bruckner) follows a group of douche-bag young guys who go bar-hopping with one of them wearing spy-cam glasses. They end up bringing a few chicks back to their motel room with hopes of scoring some amateur on-camera fuckin'. Shit goes bad when one of the girls passes out and the other turns into a blood-guzzling succubus... This one was pretty fucking cool!

Next is "Second Honeymoon" (directed by Ti West) about a young couple on a Grand Canyon vacation that turns creepy when a girl breaks into their motel room while they're sleeping and fucks with them. This one had the big "twist" at the end that I didn't find all that satisfying after the heavily drawn-out build up...

Segment three (directed by Glenn McQuaid) has a group of boisterous youths hiking through the woods and smoking pot until they are suddenly murdered by a brutal killer that refuses to show up on camera. This one wasn't the worst. Had a few decent kills.

"The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger" (directed by Joe Swanberg) is the next one and goes the web-cam route. A girl with a terribly unattractive haircut is web-chatting with her med student boyfriend about some strange shit that's going on in her house at night. Through their pixilated interactions, she shows him glimpses of little things that appear to be babies running around in the dark. I'd have to call this the worst portion of the movie. Piss-poor acting and a confusingly vague ending...

The final story (directed by the Radio Silence Production team) is the big 'special effects' laden installment, although the premise is very basic. A group of friends show up at a mansion for a Halloween costume party (one of them equipped with a nanny-cam in in mask of his bear suit). The house appears to be empty until they wander up a hidden staircase leading to the attic where a group of guys have a girl chained up. They appear to be preparing some kind of sacrifice, but it quickly becomes apparent that there are supernatural forces in their midst as they attempt to rescue the girl and flee the evil inhabited house...

"V/H/S" is a pretty decent anthology. The best segments are certainly the first and very last. There's a good amount of bloody demises, nudity and some cleverly morbid visuals. Again, I didn't like the web-cam piece and I expected a little more from Ti West's contribution, although it wasn't horrible. A couple of things I noticed though, in terms of reoccurring themes, were young, college-age kids "bro-ing down". Seriously, the majority of the stories were douche-bag guys looking for pussy or smoking pot. Got a little tiring... Also, I thought the wrap-around material could've been handled a little better. I liked what they were going for, but I felt that it didn't really finish off all that strong. Still, "V/H/S" is actually a surprisingly cool flick, overall, that I would definitely recommend - especially to those like-minded individuals who figured the "found footage" thing had been beaten into the ground with all the repetitive teenybopper "Paranormal Activity"/"Last Exorcism" horse shit that's been vomited up over the past few years....

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Spring Breakers (2013, Harmony Korine)

Ever since his most expensive film, "Mister Lonely", came out in '07, auteur film-maker and eccentric "visionary" extraordinaire, Harmony Korine, has been seemingly alternating from his more signature brand of experimental strangeness to more 'commercial' features. He's gone from the truly bizarre 2009, shot-on-tape freak-fest "Trash Humpers" - a film clearly made with NO money - to "Spring Breakers" which I would say contains the most coherent narrative of any of his prior works...

Three college girls hold up a fast food restaurant - armed with hatchets and squirt guns - and make off with a wad of cash that they plan to use to fund their spring break vacation to Miami. They bring along their ultra-religious friend and after some hard partying, they're busted in a drug raid and are completely out of money to pay the fine. So a helpful drug dealer/rapper/wigger spots them in the courthouse and comes to rescue and bails 'em out. They start hanging out with him and his 'crew' of professional criminals. The girls quickly become his BITCHES and soon find themselves mixed up in some shady drug ring and a potentially deadly feud with a rival thug.

As you can surely guess, you should NOT go into this expecting anything along the lines of "Gummo", "Julien Donkey-Boy" or especially "Humpers". It's safe to say that "Spring Breakers" is the most conventional film that Korine has done to date, though that is certainly not a bad thing. I enjoyed this film for the most part, finding that Korine's 'style' shined through, despite the uncharacteristically linear storyline. Even though this flick didn't feature the randomness and radically offbeat nature of many of his past films, it still contained elements of savory strangeness and unpredictability that I would definitely associate with Korine's very interesting body of work. For instance, the restaurant robbery scene is shot entirely from outside; from the point-of-view of the passenger's seat of the getaway car as it circles the building. The film is also intermittently broken up with reoccurring shots of sunny spring break beaches and slow-motion party kids which makes for a weird contrast between the happy, fun time these girls were hoping for on their trip, to the degenerate 'underground' immersion that eventually befalls them.

The actresses are all decent. I guess the big "draw" here was seeing these Disney channel stars (Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson) completely shed their squeaky clean, family-friendly image, which... worked! These chicks are slutty, violent, coke-snorting, gun toting bitches. Hell, it was cool to see. I'd say, the best way to show the world that you've officially become a 'big girl' star is to either make a sex-tape and send it in to TMZ or be in a Harmony Korine flick. The fourth girl is actually Rachel Korine, Harm's significantly younger wifey who's been popping up in much of his recent stuff. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Korine graduated from the Rob Zombie Film Academy. Meh, but she does alright, though. James Franco plays the ridiculous drug dealer character. Sporting a flashy, silver "grill" and infuriating white guy cornrows - he's just a complete caricature of the "wigger", personified. When he's not being hilariously annoying, he's just being annoying.

I guess my main gripes with the film are just the slow, laggy moments that often involve people repeating themselves and some fairly shallow characters. But overall, I dug the film for Korine's 'style' whenever it popped up and for some unique cinematography here n' there. I would say, overall, that "Spring Breakers" - while not Korine's strongest film - delivers some rather striking visuals (the girls dancing in pink, unicorn ski masks to a Britney Spears song stands out, in my opinion), a subtle, yet gritty tone and a nice, artistic 'flair' thanks to, what I would consider, Korine's finest example of directing. Check out this ANTI-"spring break" film.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Redrat (2004, Gustavo Kloetzer)

This is one of the most retarded things I've seen in a WHILE. I don't even really know what else to say about it...

It's about a scientist who kills guinea pigs, skins them and attempts to reanimate them with electricity. After a cockroach crawls into the wires and causes an explosion, the rodent springs to life, but, for some reason, can talk and desperately wants his skin back. His skin that was taken by a young female student.

"Redrat" is just a stupid little 20-minute Spanish short. I didn't find it funny or clever or anything. It was just too ridiculous and pointless. Maybe if they had bulked it up with a little more gore and scaled back on the impetuous attempts at humor, it could've been somewhat enjoyable, but I feel like I just wasted my time...

Monday, March 18, 2013

Splatter Farm (1987, The Polonia Brothers)

The only other Polonia brothers film I've seen at this point is "Hallucinations" and, while "Splatter Farm" is really not a whole lot 'better' looking in terms of technical dexterity or acting, I must say I rather enjoyed both films. Despite the amateurishness, they're fun little splatter flicks from a couple of determined youngsters at the time.

Two twin brothers stop to visit their aunt's farm where it seems that her freak-o farmhand is butchering people and engaging in acts of necrophilia and cannibalism. Auntie, herself, also appears somewhat deranged in talking to her husband's decomposed corpse and wanting to fuck her nephew...

This is the epitome of zero-budget, SOV crap (right up there with Jon McBride's earlier movies) that I'm sure most people would lose their patience with early on. Hell, I found it godawful, of course, but in the same token; fun to watch just how BAD it is. The gore effects are cheezy, but in all fairness, there clearly WAS some effort put into them considering the means in which the Polonia's were working with. And speaking of the Polonia bros. - probably the two worst actors imaginable. Not just in a general way, but for the fact that I couldn't totally figure out whether their vocal inflections were brought on by just abominable acting ability or retardation... Oh, and the old lady. Atrocious and oddly hilarious in an extremely douchey kinda way.

So, yeah. Shitty acting, cheap looking, yet passable gore effects, fuzzy VHS quality, zero production value, so on and so forth. However, I enjoy how these brothers made it happen, regardless of budgetary restraints, plus they bring the gore so I can't shit on 'em too much. Worth a look for the splatter die-hards out there...

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Bunny Game (2010, Adam Rehmeier)

Finally checked out "The Bunny Game" after getting word from a few reliable sources that it would be right up my alley and I'm happy to report that they were right. This is one depraved and nihilistic little film with some truly unapologetic misogyny and mean spiritedness...

It begins by establishing the dismal and debasing routine of a coke-head prostitute who is consistently brutalized and robbed by her degenerate 'johns'. She is eventually picked up by a capricious trucker who fondles her a little bit before throwing a Chloroform rag over her face and chaining her up in the trailer of his semi. He parks his big-rig in the desert and subjects her to sadistic torture rituals for several days. One thing the dude is really 'into' is putting a leash on her and yanking her around by the neck outside... He also likes licking and suffocating women (and himself) with plastic bags. The title of the film pertains to a "game" the guy likes to play where he puts a rabbit mask on chicks and a leather, gimpy pig mask on himself and then chases 'em around...

I must mention, first off, that "The Bunny Game" isn't the be-all-end-all of "extreme" cinema. Still, it's a rough and fairly uncomfortable movie simply for the dark and intransigent realism you get with this one. The tone and general composition of the film switches from rapid and chaotic-style editing to slower, more drawn out scenes and this really works well, I thought. The contrast of calm to hectic somehow made a pretty one-note premise, such as this, much more 'gripping' than you'd figure. The trucker character is AWESOME. Definitely a nasty and deplorable person who is old, uncharismatic, not witty or smooth-talking - just a fucking perverted, woman-hating scumbag. You don't doubt for a second that this guy is a REAL fucking serial killer, which I really loved. And speaking of realism, all of the violence and cruelty - though not all that gory or particularly "jaw-dropping" in terms Hollywood horror standards - comes across exceptionally genuine, again, because of the trucker and the fact that the hooker (as well as some other women shown in flashbacks) really looked like she was getting roughed up at times. Kudos! And the ending leaves ya with a few questions... Plus, there's a decent black/death metal soundtrack.

Hell, I really dug "The Bunny Game". I would certainly recommend it to the more "hardcore" film fans. Casual film-goers are advised to steer clear since it IS pretty fucking harsh.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Dark Side of Porn: The Real Animal Farm (2006, Molly Mathieson)

"Animal Farm" isn't just a George Orwell novel based on the Stalin era - it's also the unofficial 'street name' of a little bestiality film that garnered some 'buzz' in the 80s after it was smuggled into the UK. With the burgeoning availability of home video technology at the time, the distribution of the tape made it's rounds among curious shock-seekers and probably a few who dig on 'inter-species erotica'. "The Real Animal Farm" attempts to explore the fairly unknown origin of the film, but mostly sheds light on the life and times of it's main star, Bodil Joensen.

Without a doubt, Joensen was an interesting figure in how she ran her own farm and regularly fucked her animals (pigs, dogs, horses) out of a genuine love and sexual attraction for them. She was truly a tragic individual, especially in her final years leading up to her death after her animals were taken away and she turned to prostitution to support her alcoholism.

I've never seen "Animal Farm", or much of Bodil Joensen's animal fucking films, but I'll most certainly be putting out some feelers for a copy. Not out of a love of bestiality, but cuz I just fucking HAVE to see shit like this! As for this entry in the "Dark Side of Porn" series, it's an interesting look at a prominent 'icon' of bestiality.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Lucky Sky Diamond (1990, Izô Hashimoto)

"Lucky Sky Diamond" isn't a particularly outstanding entry in the Japanese 'gore flick' department, but it's certainly not the most awful thing I've ever seen. Definitely one for the WEIRD pile.

No English subtitles on my version, but I think I caught the drift of it: a woman is locked in some kind of hospital room where a pair of twisted doctors subject her to strange psychological and physical tortures. They also seem to be pumping some kind of liquid into her and at one point, they operate on her brain...

Strange shit occurs here n' there, like the chick's organs have a tendency of falling out, especially when she's repeatedly stabbed, yet somehow stays alive. A guy eats an insect out of a surgically planted hole in her skull and at one point a guy with face paint cuts himself out of a cardboard box and chases the terrified "patient" around with a serrated knife while still wearing the box around his torso! I have no idea why...

"Lucky Sky Diamond" sort of has the feel of a "Guinea Pig" film, although it lacks the the "extreme" shock-factor of much of that series. I didn't hate this flick, but I didn't find it especially 'stand out'. It's got an interesting, psychedelic 'tone' to it and a nice CHAOTIC element, considering the female 'subject' is constantly screaming and wounded and running away from deranged shit. It's very bizarre and fans of gory Jap-cinema might wanna give it a look...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Washing Machine (1993, Ruggero Deodato)

I'm obviously not breaking any new ground in saying that director Ruggero Deodato really 'jumped the shark' - so to speak - with his notorious 1980 jungle classic "Cannibal Holocaust". Nothing else I've seen from him has really compared, even in the slightest, and I've never gotten word of another film by him that comes close that particular sleazy, blood-drenched 'exploit' gem. Deodato went on to tackle numerous other genres, such as slasher, rape/revenge and, with "The Washing Machine", he went with a 'giallo' theme. Unfortunately, this is one of the most exhaustingly boring giallo's I can recall seeing as of late...

A detective is investigating the death of a scummy playboy whose dismembered body was discovered in the washing machine of three extremely odd and slutty sisters who live together in their father's old house. Each one of these chicks take turns seducing him and tangling him up in their confusing web of insanity and potential murder cover-up.

"The Washing Machine" is about as slow and melodramatic as a 'gialli' flick can be. Nothing memorable really happens. There's some occasional nudity and sex, a quick scene of gore, but for the most part, it's really just a overly convoluted murder-mystery. Just not really my "thing", to be totally honest. I know some people kinda like this one so I'll just leave it at that. Not really my "style" when it comes to the 'giallo' genre.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Sloppy the Psychotic (2012, Mike O'Mahony)

I pretty much expected to hate this one. For one, it's a Chemical Burn release and if you know anything about this company than you're most likely aware of their low-quality catalog of uber-schlock, DIY "horror" garbage. They easily make Troma look like Miramax...

A professional clown loses his job after getting rough with a kid at a birthday party and completely snaps - going off on a booze-fueled killing spree. He kills hookers, frat boy assholes who took pleasure in fucking with him as well as other people associated with the negative aspects of his clowning career (boss, angry mom, etc)...

Honestly, for the majority of the runtime I had a pretty enervated attitude toward "Sloppy the Psychotic" - finding it watchable, at best, but nothing all that special when considering the field of digitally shot, micro-budget horror flicks. Then, the end came and it really turned me around... The big finish is a wonderful build-up to a remarkably brutal child massacre that I certainly didn't see coming, especially to the extent they went for. Other than that, I'd still say "Sloppy" is a pretty decent clown slasher, overall, with some other fairly gruesome kill scenes - namely a bloody castration and some frenzied stabbings. This one is worth checking out, especially for the last 20 minutes or so of crazy kid-killing...

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The Infernal Rapist (1988, Damián Acosta Esparza)

"El Violador Infernal" - aka "The Infernal Rapist" - is some truly off-the-wall Mexican 'exploit' sleaze with a totally ridiculous, almost nonsensical 'demonic' storyline, but packed to the gills with all kinds of sick rape and murder, so I was basically happy as a pig in shit...

A serial killer is sentenced to "the chair" and confirmed dead after a thorough frying. After all of those present at his execution leave the room, a big-haired she-devil with laser-beam eyes appears, via THE most simplest of jump-cuts (this "effect" is used several times in the movie and each time it is BEYOND hilarious), and summons him back to life - basically telling him that he will remain virtually indestructible as long as he rapes all sorts of men and women, kills them and then marks them with the customary three-digit "mark of the beast".

You got all sorts of violent stabbings - one of which is viciously carried out on a woman's vag - some homo-butt rapin', levitating titties, tons of cheezy looking laser-eye beams and plenty of battered women. "The Infernal Rapist" is just all-around mean spirited and nasty in tone and in it's harsh content. Definitely the finest example of 'mexploitation' that I have ever come across in my years of cinematic filth hunting. Sleaze-hounds are sure to appreciate this little rapey gem!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

9 Days (2011, Samuel M. Johnson)

Not the worst thing I've had Chemical Burn Entertainment send me. Nothing really "special" about "9 Days" in the slightest, but I've had some real TURDS come my way thanks to this particular distributor, so when I get one that's at least watchable, then consider me pleasantly surprised.

A teenage foster home runaway is hitch-hiking to L.A. when she's picked up by a clean-cut looking smart-ass who brings her home and insists she stay the night. That night, he wakes her up and drags her to the basement where he chains her up and explains that she's going to be put through nine days of harsh torture as a way of pulling her into his religious fanaticism. He crudely implants a shock collar device into her spine so he can zap her at will, pours moonshine down her throat, makes her sit in a bathtub of ice, etc...

In terms of 'torture flicks', "9 Days" is FAR from disturbing and offers nothing new. The guy who played the psycho Jesus-freak did a decent job, overall, though I didn't find him all that menacing. Just goofy and laughably annoying. The almost-attractive female lead sheds her clothes here-and-there which was another mild perk, I guess. Still, there's not a whole lot to get enthusiastic about when talking about this flick. Again, when you're talking Chemical Burn releases, you can do a lot worse than this one, but I still wouldn't recommend it...