Wednesday, October 25, 2017

The Millennium Bug (2011)

"The Millennium Bug" is a moderately entertaining B-flick that oddly goes about combining two types of horror in one, which, to its credit, definitely sets it apart.

On December 31, 1999 a father, his daughter and new wife are celebrating New Years up in the mountains just in case the 'Y2Kaos' hysteria is legit and apocalyptic shit goes down. Their camping trip is interrupted by a family of hillbillies who are after new women to wed/impregnate after we see their sister giving birth to a deformed, inbred baby (which is promptly killed...). While this is going on, a loony scientist has hiked out into the same woods to document the arising of an ancient creature that only shows up for one night every one thousand years. So big bugs and deranged rednecks collide in a considerably odd climactic "showdown", of sorts.

The bug creature is comprised of decent enough looking practical effects - blending, what appear to be, a fly, a slug and a stegosaurus with retracting facial tentacles and random, spiked appendages. We don't see all that much of it until the last half hour or so, however. Up to then, the movie plays out as pretty standard 'killer redneck family' horror piece, which supplies some amusement and some good gory moments - also practical (hell, the production company behind this movie is called No CGI Films, so they keep it legit, despite an obviously meager budget...). After a while, though, I felt it getting a little redundant and was more than ready for some bug action. Overall, "The Millennium Bug" is nothing close to spectacular, but it's not a total piece of shit either. I'll commend it on its cheezy, yet passable, effects work and the outright ridiculousness of the premise. I've seen way worse.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Hell's Highway (2002)

Whenever I see that Brain Damage logo pop up at the start of a movie I always instinctively recoil in disgust and apprehension. I still went ahead and carried on into "Hell's Highway" on a whim and, amazingly, it wasn't nearly as terrible as I initially expected. Perhaps my low expectations came into play to boost the enjoyment factor for me, but who knows?

A carload of pot tokin' and beer drinkin' kids are road tripping cross country to L.A. and make the wise decision to pick up a female hitch-hiker in the desert. She ends up pulling a gun on them and spewing threats and other crazy shit before they manage to eject her from the vehicle in a scene very reminiscent of - or just blatantly ripped off from - "The Hitcher". As they continue on, they keep running into her and, at one point, they do LITERALLY with their car, leading them to believe that she is a supernatural being when she appears later on with her same deadly intentions...

First, the gore is beyond cheap looking, but there's enough of it to keep things interesting and they DID provide one "actress" (using the word loosely) who was game to show her tits in a few scenes. One thing I gotta give "Hell's Highway" props for is throwing in an ending that I definitely did NOT see coming. Not that I'd say it's a GREAT or overtly clever ending, but it's certainly out of left field. In all, this one isn't all that bad of a ultra-low budget horror flick. Ah, and Ron Jeremy gets his dick mutilated is a pointless, yet cool scene.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

1922 (2017)

Time to boot up the ol' Netflix again for the latest Stephen King adaptation which, I do say, have all been pretty damn good as of late - what with the theatrical first chapter of "It" and "Gerald's Game". The trend continues with "1922" - based on a short story out of King's 2010 collection, "Full Dark, No Stars" which puts us at a current three-for-three score on King flicks. I think it definitely pays to keep Mick Garris away from the director's chair on these adaptations.

Set in the year the title indicates, a farmer is butting heads with his wife over their acreage and whether or not to sell it and move to the city. She's adamant in doing so and he's more than reluctant to give up his farm. As their arguing heats up further, the farmer goads his son into aiding him in what he claims is the only conceivable measure to take - killing the nagging bitch. So they do and dump her down a dried up well next to the house. What follows is a downward spiral for the father and son, comprised of ghostly visions and unforeseen problems that look to damage their initial intentions...

The story here is presented in a very bleak and grim tone, thanks mostly, to the rural, period-piece backdrop to which it's set. Each performance is choice and, for the most part, the pacing is solid, despite the slow-burn approach. There's also some fun shit involving rats and a reasonably effective murder scene. Give "1922" a look.

Friday, October 20, 2017

The Mutilator (1984)

"The Mutilator" managed to elude me during my video store-crawling teenage years, which were spent rabidly devouring the bulk of the slasher sub-genre, all the way up until very recently when I finally got to checking it out. There was definitely some promise in certain areas of this relatively 'fringe' slasher, but ultimately it's a snooze-fest.

A little boy tries to give his dad a birthday surprise by cleaning his rifle collection, but accidentally fires a shot through the wall, killing his mother. Daddy goes off the deep end upon discovering this mishap and we cut to years later where the son is on fall break from college. He gets a phone call from his estranged father who asks him to head over to his beach house to take care of some tasks for him. Along with his friends, sonny-boy heads to the house where Pops is lying in wait to start shedding some blood...

We get way too much of these bland characters interacting and walking around a beach in between, what ARE, actually pretty solid kills for an '80s slasher flick. There are just way too few of them and I wasn't finding all that much suspense or anything else of interest on tap, here. The killer is just a middle-aged dude so there's not much imagination there and of the three chicks in the movie, none of them were even remotely attractive. So - aside from a good decapitation and a surprisingly strong scene involving a girl getting a large hook in the vag - "The Mutilator" didn't have enough of the 'goods' to get me all that fired up.

Friday, October 6, 2017

Gerald's Game (2017)

There seems to be an influx of Stephen King adaptations lately which has brought to the screen (via, Netflix...), "Gerald's Game", based on an early '90s King novel that I was previously quite unfamiliar with. Not sure how the book compares to the movie, but it definitely offers a heavy, HEAVY dose of King's brand of psychological-drama.

A middle-age couple drive out to a secluded vacation home to spice up their dwindling sex life with a few new 'kinks'. The husband pops a dick pill, handcuffs wifey to the bedposts and, as he's trying out a few deep seeded rape fantasies, he drops dead from a sudden heart attack. Of course, the Mrs. is still shackled by both arms to the bed without keys and WITH a hungry stray dog who roams in for her husband's (and potentially HER) body. As time progresses, a dialog develops between a mentally materialized version of herself and her dead husband who offer her insight into such matters as the downfall of their marriage, methods of survival and how a traumatic part of her childhood made her who she is...

The concept is fine and the two leads' performances are exceptionally strong. In all, I enjoyed "Gerald's Game" as a cryptic 'exploration' of a mentally scarred character being forced to face past traumas and how they steered her life - all while facing impending death. The ending is pretty fucking 'out-of-left-field' and totally unpredictable (unless, of course, you've read the book...) and definitely had me confused, but not enough to take away from the bulk of the movie I'd just seen. It's worth checking out if you like King's more psychologically-driven stories.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

They Eat Scum (1979)

Of the handful of short films by Nick Zedd I've seen, I can safely say I'm not a full fledged fan by any means, but there have been a few I actually thought were decent enough for what they were. "They Eat Scum" is the New York-based, 'transgressive' auteur's first cinematic endeavor and is feature-length, so I figured I'd roll the dice and check it out. And, like I am after many of Zedd's films, I really don't know what to make of it...

Donna Death plays Suzi Putrid (was the name change even necessary?), a popular underground 'death rock' front woman with a fiercely religious father and a tranny, dog-blowing brother who dad keeps locked in the bathroom for days for being a gay "under achiever". Suzi's performances usually end with her prompting her insatiably loyal fans to go out and commit murder and cannibalism. When her father finds out and kills her on stage and is, in turn, attacked by her fanatical audience, her identical twin sister is summoned from a mental hospital by their rapist uncle to replace Suzi and this is pretty much where the flimsy 'story' became completely unintelligible for me.

"They Eat Scum" is a contentious punk-rock/horror-film mash-up that is really just poorly filmed, unamusing dullness that's struggling to be offensive and weird. I didn't find any of it as particularly 'outrageous', but I guess that's just based on my own personal standards, however, not very much actually happens in the movie, aside from live punk sets and a painfully long climax involving a fight among punkers and a guy dressed as a cockroach. Still, I can't say I totally hated it, overall. It's watchable enough in being just so purposely obnoxious and dumb, but there's no way in hell I can go about recommending this unless you're into literally anything punk-rock related.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Rakka (2017)

"Rakka" was the first short from Oats Studios - an 'experimental film'-geared production company started up by Neill Blomkamp - the director of "District 9" and "Chappie". It's evident he was equipped with a considerable budget and some skilled effects artists and actors for just a mere 22-minute movie, but I found it pretty cool.

It depicts a hellish future where a malevolent race of lizard-aliens have taken over Earth - leaving a small number of humans fighting for survival. The aliens apparently have mind-control abilities, of which are thwarted by metal head wear welded from scrap. They discover a guy who has been melded with alien technology who seems to be crucial in the fight against their extraterrestrial overlords...

This short is shot very well with a pretty interesting set-up and the CGI and practical effects are big studio quality, more or less, I found. I guess my problem would be that it does just come across as a SET-UP to a story that's ultimately cut short. Maybe they're lining up some sequels or this was meant to hopefully pull in some funds to be extended into a feature. I'm not sure. Still, "Rakka" is, visually, a well done short film.

Monday, October 2, 2017

The Bride of Frank (1996)

"The Bride of Frank" is a fucking hilarious low-budget 'gross out' gem that should appeal to those who are into total low-brow ridiculousness.

Frank is a retarded, elderly former bum who lives in the warehouse of a trucking company. He's lonely and completely tit-obsessed so his kindhearted trucker buddies try to help him meet the buxom broad of his dreams by taking out a personal ad. As it turns out, every woman who answers it seems  either repulsed by Frank or Frank finds them unsuitable so he kills them...

The guy who plays Frank is a pure genius. Every one of his lines (some of which had to be shown through subtitles due to their incomprehensibility) is fucking gold and the rest of the dialog is priceless, over-the-top New Yorker, ball-busting banter. Damned if I didn't love it! You also got a skull-fucking, shitting down a bloody neck stump, dick chomping, a violently cock-hungry tranny, morbidly obese stripteases and child-killing (an oddly DARK opening scene, actually!). For a goofy, intentionally inane SOV flick, "The Bride of Frank"  is solid from beginning to end - never running out of steam or misfiring on any of it's many weird scene, as far as I was concerned. Hell, Frank having phone-sex is, alone, worth checking this flick out.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

It (2017)

I never got into the "It" mini-series from back in the day, having found what I DID see of it dull and ineffective, especially if you don't have a clown phobia, of which I have never. I also haven't read King's book so, obviously, I wasn't initially all that eager to get to this remake, but was prompted by hearty recommendations and a bevvy of positive reviews. Misled, I was NOT - finding this version to be a massive improvement and all around solid, '80s-style horror flick.

Taking place in a small Maine town in the late '80s, a group of misfit 13-year old friends are being terrorized during summer vacation by a supernatural being that apparently shows up every 27 years. Using a creepy clown as 'it's' 'default' form, 'it' manifests itself into the kids' worst fears and occasionally drags a few down to his 'world' to eat them...

It doesn't take a genius to realize in what ways the two-part, made-for-TV adaptation could've been improved upon, but this new film succeeds in each aspect that I could think of. Firstly, it is abridged to a reasonable length, thanks to setting its focus solely on the kids combating the demonic clown. It's done without all the disruptive dual time period narrative bullshit involving a bearded John Ritter and Venus Flytrap from WKRP that bogged the 1990 version down heavily. What you get out of this "It" is a much more concise, lively and entertaining movie that doesn't shy away from unpredictable, impressive and occasionally grotesque visuals. The '80s vibe is also the huge driving force behind so much of the movie's overall appeal - fleshing out the characters considerably well and also enhancing the Pennywise villain's image and menace factor by leaps and bounds. He's looming, sinister and mysterious, while being outright abrasive and violent as well - offering up on-screen child chomping/de-limbing that is a favorable touch, for sure.

I guess there's another installment lined up for "Chapter 2", which is a no-brainer and hopefully it can match the energy and fun of this one. Definitely an enjoyable watch!