Sunday, May 31, 2015

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

I wound up giving in to the hype surrounding the revival of the "Mad Max" series due to how over-the-top and 'non-stop' people were telling me it was. They weren't wrong. This thing is absolutely packed to the gills with all-encompassing action and visual 'richness'. And... that's really all it sets out to provide it's viewers. Not a bad thing, for sure.

Short form plot rundown: Mad Max, a badass chick and her girl posse are cruising around in a 'war truck' through a post-apocalyptic desert full of pasty goons, lead by a water-hoarding leader...

In all, "Mad Max: Fury Road" works more as a massive visual spectacle then anything else. The character seems to take a backseat to each consecutive 20-minute vehicular incursion (the bulk of the film, needless to say...) and the compulsory focus on arrant feminism. The Max character comes across as unnecessary while being so overshadowed by needless granny biker gangs and Charlize Theron's blandly forced exposition of redemption - the longest instance in which the film 'slows down', I'd say. To give you an idea - at one point, Max runs off into the fog to take care of some 'business'. He comes back after some peculiar noise, covered in blood (not his own...) and we realize that serious ass was kicked... completely OFF SCREEN! Not to say there's any shortage of 'balls-out' action in the film - I just feel they underutilized and over-pussified the supposed primary character in favor of a female dominated 'mold' in which Hollywood feels compelled to adhere to lately. Personally, I'm not attracted to masculine warrior-women. Call me 'old fashioned'...

Aside from that bullshit, "Fury Road" IS some entertaining, old-school escapism. Not entirely my kind of movie, typically, but it's pure visual eye-candy of the mindless, ultra-high-octane sort. Good shit to check out on the big screen, overall.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Snowpiercer (2013)

Had been meaning to check out "Snowpiercer" for a while. I wasn't tripping over myself to do so, but I had heard good things and it sounded like kind of a cool "1984"-style 'thriller' piece and it actually was for the most part without soaring over my expectations...

Set in the year 2031, the Earth has been buried by a new ice age - leaving the small remaining populace to sustain an existence on a massive luxury train that moves non-stop throughout the subzero, post-apocalyptic landscape. Their enclosed civilization has submitted to a bit of a backslide in class segregation, leaving the poor to be housed in the back of the train with no windows, gelatinous protein bricks for food and at the mercy of the sadistic 'enforcers'. When it's decided that enough is enough, the downtrodden come together and start violently making their way to the front of the train.

Pretty entertaining futuristic 'thriller' with a fairly consistent 'flow' of stylized carnage to go along with its surreal premise and visuals. There's a few pretty 'strong' scenes, such as one character's back story having to do cannibalizing babies, a guy's arm getting frozen off and a violent altercation taking place with "Midnight, the Stars and You" playing in the background. So, overall, "Snowpiercer" is an enjoyable, yet reasonably dark dystopian flick. Worth checking out.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Ooga Booga (2013)

Full Moon Features just can't do enough killer doll movies. I don't get it and, needless to say, I've never been a big fan of Charles Band and his hard-on for psycho puppets. The only reason I checked out "Ooga Booga" - there's three, actually - it features Stacy Keach (who rules), Karen Black in one of her final roles (poor woman...) and legendary internet satirist/author, Maddox. So, was it bad? Yeah, but in all honesty, it wasn't as downright unwatchable as I expected...

A young, soon-to-be black doctor is cornered by some crooked cops in a convenience store after having witnessed a deadly armed robbery. The senior cop decides the kid is guilty and executes him - thus, his soul is transferred, via electrical current, into an archetypal, disparate African-modeled doll (complete with the bone in the nose and spear...) he was given. He promptly reconnects with his girlfriend and, with her help, they set out to take down the dirty pigs and the drug manufacturing degenerates working for them.

Obviously, "Ooga Booga" is a typcial, stupid Full Moon flick that shamelessly rips off another black killer doll flick, "Ragdoll" (which just so happens to be another Full Moon joint...), and the Zuni fetish doll segment from "Trilogy of Terror", which explains Karen Black's otherwise needless appearance. Still, Keach is awesome (albeit, washed up...) and I couldn't help but chuckle somewhat at the doll's retarded sounding 'battle cry'. This movie is really something you have to be in the right mood for if you intend on getting through it, but I will say, it's not the worst Full Moon cheese-fest I've seen.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Never a Tender Moment (1979)

Very obscure S&M short from the 'golden age' of porn. Coming in at roughly 28-minutes, "Never a Tender Moment" was apparently a live show - featuring the great Marilyn Chambers - that was recorded at some theater in San Francisco back in the day.

Beginning with a back-stage interview with a nude Marilyn talking about her swollen asshole -it's then, basically, just her getting whipped and paddled by a couple of trashy, "Rocky Horror"-looking dominatrixes. At one point they attach a leash to her labia ring and drag her around a little bit. They ram her ass with a huge black dildo, fist her with a Crisco slathered gloved hand - followed by a slow-motion upside-down bondage scene. It then ends with Marilyn saying her S&M fantasy is to fuck Bigfoot...

Not the 'roughest' thing I've ever come across, but it's an enjoyable little hardcore rarity. Marilyn looks good and takes it like a champ, so what else can you possibly ask for? If you can find it, it's worth a look for vintage porn buffs.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Late Phases (2014)

I had relatively high hopes for this one, mainly because I feel like I haven't seen a halfway decent werewolf movie in well over a decade. It's all been "Twilight" and "Underworld" bullshit, so I have to give "Late Phases" respect just for not being that abject 'brand' of contemptible "tween" garbage. That said, how was the movie, itself? Eh, a bit under whelming, unfortunately...

A blind Vietnam vet moves into a retirement community that happens to be plagued by full moon werewolf attacks. The night he moves into his new home, the neighbor and his own guide dog are mauled by the vicious creature - leaving the new blind resident to combat the bloodthirsty beasts, himself.

First off, I had heard people talking up the practical effects and, I must say, I don't really understand why. Yeah, they're predominantly of an 'old school' persuasion and are not terrible - just not all that good, either. The werewolves look completely like guys in furry Halloween costumes and resemble that creature from "The Crate" segment from "Creepshow". Just came across a bit too cheezy in relation to the general 'tone' of the film, of which the majority contains NO werewolf action and mostly just focuses on the blind veteran being ornery with the rest of the elderly community and his prickish son. There's an alright transformation scene and it's pretty much the highlight of the film, aside from Nick Damici's performance, which is quite enjoyable. Overall, I just couldn't help but feel as though the pacing was "off" and none of the characters are established enough for anything to really matter in the end. Things either happen too fast (his dog being killed...) or not fast enough (the whole mid-section of the movie...). Again, it's not a completely terrible flick, but it could have used some better direction.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The Triplets of Belleville (2003)

I have a great appreciation for traditional, hand-drawn animation - the likes of which has become increasingly rare in this day-and-age of CGI dominated reworkings for the Pixar demographic. "The Triplets of Belleville" is French director/animator, Sylvain Chomet's first feature, and I must say - while it didn't rock me to my core, by any means - it IS a visually compelling piece of animation.

While competing in the Tour de France, a bicyclist is kidnapped by the French mafia and shipped to America where his athleticism is used for some inexplicable form of underground gambling ring. His club footed grandmother and her obese dog take a paddle boat to New York to find him - along the way, meeting up with a trio of elderly sisters who were a once famous musical group. They now live in a rundown apartment, eating nothing but stewed frogs and using household appliances as instruments for their latest stage act...

With it's very little dialog, explicitly drab color palette and nicely blended medley of composited animation 'styles', "The Triplets of Belleville" works very well in conveying it's bizarre premise with quite a unique and radical 'flair'. The design of the character's and settings are consistently interesting - particularly the three sisters whose noises and movements are oddly creepy and distinct and I also liked how America is portrayed with everyone being a super-fat, hamburger-obsessed slob. The use of CGI blends well and is clearly used out of necessity - or I guess you could say, justifiable convenience - with difficult things, such as bikes, cars, trains and various other types of intricate, moving machinery. Point is, the film looks much different from most and the laborious effort and attention to detail is evident. Those who aren't all that 'into' the technical elements of animation may not dig this one much or might find the storyline a bit unsatisfactory (which, overall, it's not the best plot...), but those who like traditional animation should definitely check it out, as well as Chomet's other works.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

The Road (2011)

Decent enough, though somewhat disjointed Filipino horror-drama that contained a few fairly creepy elements.

A timeline of bizarre events is told backwards - having to do with an isolated stretch of road that a killer lived near. The first of the three-part narrative - taking place in 2008 - deals with three teens who swipe a parent's car to go out for a joyride/driving lesson. To avoid a police roadblock, they take a detour down a secluded road where they are stalked and terrorized by a driverless car and a bloody, disfigured girl with a bag over her head... The second part - set ten years prior - has to do with a psychotic dude that lives down that road who holds two sisters captive. Part three is set in 1988 and reveals the killer's troubled childhood with his crazy bitch mom who abused him and his ultra-religious, pussy father...

The first part of "The Road" was the best, as it had a pretty cool 'horror' set-up going with the creepy shit happening on the desolate road at night. After that, I felt it started losing it's footing a bit and I found the final portion, especially, kinda hard to get 'into'. Plus, the tie-in (or "twist"...) was very predictable and a little too implausible, I thought. That said, "The Road" is well shot and has a few standout moments, overall (again, mostly in the first part...). I just wish it had 'come together' a bit more cleverly in the end and maybe cut a few particular scenes that tended to drag. Moderately recommended if you dig strange psychological horror flicks - just don't expect to be blown away.

Friday, May 1, 2015

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)

I guess this just wasn't my 'thing'. Seems "A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" is getting quite a bit of praise for being an original take on vampire films and for being "the first Western-Iranian vampire film" - whatever that matters... In actuality, it's just a pretentious, snails-pace 'art house' vamp flick...

An Iranian "Grease" reject encounters a mysterious vampiress who strolls around at night, stalking and chomping the necks of drug dealers and vagabonds. He also has a whacked-out junkie father and a rich chick he works for... Then a she-male dances with a balloon. Then the movie pretty much just ends...

The relationship between the '50s-style kid and the vampire girl isn't explored at all and none of the characters are given any 'dimension', making them all incredibly uninteresting. The black-and-white photography and wide-angle shots may be interesting for film school dweebs, but it's hardly enough to carry a movie THIS boring and pompous. It's basically a heavy handed 'art house' rendition of "Twilight" that goes the whole 'style over substance' route in a dull and self-indulgently 'minimalistic' mien. The hipster/vampire-crowd may dig this, but I didn't get much out of it, to say the least. Check out Abel Ferrara's "The Addiction" instead.