Thursday, April 4, 2013

Angel, Alien and UFO Encounters from Another Dimension (2012, Ken Klein)

This is, without a doubt, THE worst documentary I have ever seen. Now I'm a hardcore skeptic and I'll pretty much call "bullshit" on any reality-based movie or TV program focusing on the possibility of extraterrestrial visitors or supernatural phenomena, but I can safely say that I have never, in my life, seen a less convincing "attempt" at hunting and documenting the potential existence of UFO's, aliens and angels. I'm literally STILL in utter shock and awe at how fucking horrendous "Angel, Alien and UFO Encounters" was.

A balding old fuck is traveling around from New Orleans to Arizona to Pittsburgh, talking to various jack-offs who claim to have seen and photographed different types of alien space crafts and figures around their area...

The first guy they talk to is just a fat, bearded slob with fake-looking hair who claims to be a professional electrician who hunts UFO's, though every time you see him he's just holding a cheapie Sony camcorder and walking us through incomprehensibly blurry video of, what he claims to be, shape-shifting aliens. The next guy - another fat slob in a Hawaiian shirt - gives us a tedious rundown on a series of crude sketches he has done that apparently resemble various kinds of suspicious orbs he has seen hovering in the sky. He then shows off another sketch of a light pattern he witnessed one night... A SKETCH. Not a photograph. A fucking sketch... Then, there's about a 25-30 minute tour through the Arizona desert, courtesy of a scrawny moron with a hickey on his neck who attempts to explain vague Indian rock doodles and how they pertain to early alien visitors. The movie slowly wraps up after this by involving the mother a teenage girl who supposedly captured a UFO on camera and a group of morons hunting for "alien orbs" at night...

In all honesty, I'm not sure if the people in this really believed what they said and did or if they were just half-assing their way through an already shitty idea for an alien/ghosts doc. The latter possibility doesn't seem too far off, if you ask me, considering I just CANNOT bring myself to accept that there are actually people THIS fucking stupid walking this earth. I mean, pretty much anyone who claims to have spotted a UFO or ghostly apparition is an idiot or just a liar, but these dipshits... They were analyzing dirty camera lenses and pointing out alien faces in the fucking dirt specks! That's not even the worst! They were actually filming airplanes at night and calling them UFO's! Numerous times this happens! Also, they shined a flashlight beam on the back of a guy's head, snapped a photo and claimed that an "alien orb" was probing his mind... Streetlights glaring through trees. Balloons floating through the desert - captured on the most obscuring, shittiest quality video cameras. "Orbs" flying around that are clearly insects shot on night-vision cameras. Out-of-focus objects are studied ad nauseam by assholes asserting that the image is an alien morphing into demonic shapes. It goes on and on! These douche-rags saw UFO's EVERYWHERE!

"Angel, Alien and UFO Encounters" is either the most embarrassingly awful documentary ever made or the most hilarious 'mockumentary' ever made. If so, they really played it off well, cuz these fuckers looked dead serious. A fun thing to do while watching this movie is to play a drinking game my viewing companion and I invented. Put in this movie and every time one of these dumb shits says the world "anomaly", take a drink. That way, you'll get drunk and be able laugh your ass off at how goddamn asinine this piece of shit is. I can't in good conscience recommend it, but I still think it's a remarkable display of pure retardation that must be seen to be believed. It's quite an anomaly. Drink!

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