A little girl goes into her parents' room at night and tells her sleeping mother that the Easter bunny is eating her candy. Mother is sleepy and tells her to go back to bed. On her way back, she sees the sinister rabbit still eating candy at the end of the hall. And it turns out "candy" is the name of her little dog, based on the tags seen in the final shot...
Not much going on in these few minutes in which this short lasts. I feel it would've been a little better if the Easter bunny didn't just look like a guy in a costume, since they give him a demonic voice and some kind of weird, evil sounding language. Seeing his hair sticking out the back of the mask kinda killed the creepiness.
Directed by: Drew Daywalt, David Schneider
Runtime: 2 minutes
Maniac (2011)
Two serial killers run around with a camera crew following them and a goal to kill 8 people, each.
For me, personally, nothing about that premise sounds good. Faux snuff/mockumentaries are something I'm fed up with at this point, but "Maniac" is actually a pretty damn good short film, directed by Shia LaBeouf of all people. In terms of the premise, it's the same thing as "Man Bites Dog" (French language, B & W mock-doc about a murderer), but since "Maniac" is only 10 minutes long and is shot very well and has some well executed kills - such as a shotgun blast to the gut and a molotov cocktail through the open car window of two love-birds - I gotta say, I enjoyed it. Plus, it doesn't feel like a fake documentary, give or take a few moments when the crew is addressed. Any longer than it's runtime and I could've seen this flick getting tiresome, however. People driven to make movies like this should stick with short-film mode. That's the only way to make 'em work, as far as I'm concerned.
Directed by: Shia LaBeouf
Runtime: 10 minutes
Electrocuting an Elephant (1903)This isn't a very popular one from the 'golden age' of cinema and I can see why.
What you have here is a minute long demonstration - conducted by Thomas Edison - to showcase some of his discoveries in action. So they took an elephant named Topsy that had killed some abusive shitbag trainers (one of which burned the end of her trunk with a cigar). Since killer elephants are not granted a fair trial in our society, Topsy had to be killed. Edison stepped in and figured they'd kill 2 birds with one stone and kill the problem elephant while showing the dangers of alternating current. The result was "Electrocuting an Elephant". They bring Topsy out with wires all over her face and body, smoke rises from her feet before she goes stiff and slumps to the ground.
It's just a very historic and disturbing moment from 100+ years ago captured on film.
Directed by: Thomas A. Edison (?)
Runtime: 1 minute
The House That Dripped Blood on Alex (2010)
This is a pretty funny short starring the guy from "The Room". He plays a guy who moves into a ghetto shithole house that inexplicably drips blood on him no matter where he is.
Unlike "The Room", this is an intentional comedy that is just playing off the guy's terrible acting and quirky on-screen presence. So in that way, I think the cult fan base for "The Room" probably won't get into this, but I found it moderately amusing. The "duck feather" dialog made me chuckle.
Directed by: Brock LaBorde, Jared Richard
Runtime: 13 minutes
I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her From a Meathook and Now I Have a Three Picture Deal with Disney (1993)
Well, this was some boring shit. Some lame Hollywood satire that Ben Affleck directed years ago. It's just about a film director who has his wife suspended from the ceiling by a meathook - although not "Texas Chainsaw"-style, but more of just hooking the rope that's tying her wrists together. He rambles at her for a bit while it keeps cutting awkwardly to a young actress who is gearing up to audition for his latest movie. The second half of this is the audition... Which goes nowhere...
This thing is just pointless and unfunny. Even Affleck has denounced this film as being shitty and has said that he regrets ever making it. I agree with him. It's a cool title, though.
Directed by: Ben Affleck
Runtime: 15 minutes
This one was alright. I never knew what a 'weremaid' was prior to seeing this 8 and a half minute little movie. It kicks off with a bound and gagged woman running through the woods from a trio of redneck nutjobs. I won't spoil the big 'payoff', but it doesn't turn out to be your average hillbilly psychopath flick.
Pretty good makeup FX and well shot. If ya come across it, give it a look.
Directed by: Josh Macdonald
Runtime: 8 minutes
This is one of the douchiest things I've ever seen. Comic books are fine, but trying to set up a 3-way brawl with a few of the most iconic horror characters of all time in under 15-minutes isn't going to work. Especially if you have little (to no) talent when it comes to film-making.
Some chick is having Freddy dreams. Then she's on a road trip with a couple of girl friends whose car breaks down. Jason shows up and kills one of this dumb bitches while the other two find a scroll in some kind of boneyard that brings Ash from the "Evil Dead" films through a portal which leads to a showdown between the three of them.
First, Freddy's face is a Halloween mask. It's cheap-ass rubber and the mouth doesn't even move. The guy who plays Ash does a Bruce Campbell impression that might slightly impress me at a party, but it's truly nauseating in this capacity. The fight choreography at the end is also a complete joke and makes for one of the weakest fights in film history. Perhaps I'm just a 'stick in the mud', but I hate these horror fan films.
Directed by: Trent Duncan
Runtime: 14 minutes
Chainsaw Scumfuck (1988)
I've dug all the other early short stuff of Alex Chandon I have seen, but "Chainsaw Scumfuck" is definitely the worst. Ya gotta give it a pass, though, considering it was his first foray into indie-splatter film-making.
The 'plot' is as basic as you can get: three buddies are hanging out, chit-chatting, when a chainsaw wielding, hunchback psychopath barges in and annihilates them all.
The gore FX are cheezy as hell, of course. The camera is out of focus 99% of the time while the jerky movements make you dizzy. Also, the killer's pillow-stuffed hunchback was fucking hilariously bad! Check this out for a laugh and then go check out Chandon's later and "greater" stuff, like "Bad Karma" and "Drillbit".
Directed by: Alex Chandon
Runtime: 7 minutes
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