Last Days Here (2011, Demian Fenton/Don Argott)

I had heard a little bit of Pentagram's music as a teenager and never really knew much about them and their popularity status, nor was I an especially huge fan. Not until seeing this terrifically entertaining and candid documentary did I learn that they were, in fact, one of those inexplicably unrecognized forerunners of the much 'darker' variety of metal, preceding the likes of Venom, Bathory, etc, by a long shot. However, they never received the proper accolades for their pioneering influence on the genre. "Last Days Here" centers primarily around Pentagram's down-and-out frontman, Bobby Liebling...

The film chronicles several years worth, I assume, of Liebling's life as he tries to get his shit together and recapture some of his faded glory as a rock n' roll badass. We find him in his early 50s (though looking like he's in his early 70s...), living in his elderly parents' 'sub-basement' in a drab Maryland suburb. Forty-some years of incessant drug abuse has left him haggard, bug-eyed, nearly brain dead and incredibly frail as he continues to casually smoke crack and reminisce about his younger days while violently scratching at the nonexistant parasites under his skin. The other former band members and aging record producers are interviewed, expounding on their numerous missed opportunities for musical stardom at the hands of their unruly, junkie vocalist.

At one point in the film Liebling meets a girl half his age (if not younger...) and moves out of his parent's house and down to Philadelphia. This is when it is revealed that Liebling - though seemingly withered and hopelessly diseased beyond all repair - is apparently fully capable of kicking drugs, cold turkey, and getting his act together when he has to. Although I'm not factoring out documentative liberties meant to steer the overall 'point' of the film into a certain direction by allowing Liebling to lie about continuing to do drugs off camera or even people involved lying FOR him. Either way, his love-induced rejuvenation prompts him to dedicate his newfound sobriety to producing some new Pentagram music and playing a big comeback show. There are a few roadblocks along the way, such as getting his heart broken, a jail stint, relapse, and just his general immaturity...

"Last Days Here" is easily the best rock-doc since "Anvil! The Story of Anvil". Bobby Liebling is a truly pathetic individual who is dispondently susceptible to any and all forms of dopamine facilitating substances and lifestyles. The way this documentary presents him is as a man so devoid of character and self-respect that he actually chooses to be an addict for recreational purposes and as a means of subconscious suicide, though, like I said, kicking a life-long crack-cocaine and heroine habit cold turkey seems a bit unlikely, but there's no way to know for sure, as far as Liebling's case is concerned. Regardless of this, the outcome of this doc is undeniably satisfying and the build-up to it is entertaining, tragic and often hilarious. Highly recommended.

Twisted Issues (1988, Charles Pinion)

I typically don't have a problem with a little experimental diversion to what would otherwise be a rather run-of-the-mill slasher/gore flick, as long as it can hold my interest. Can't say that "Twisted Issues" really did it for me, unfortunately...

The "plot" here is a complete mess, but from what I could make out - a karate student/skateboarder gets into an altercation with a gang of drunken assholes on his way home from a party. They kick his board out into the street, he chases it, resulting in him getting hit by a car and killed. His body is eventually found by two Frankenstein-ish mad doctors who bring him back to life, only to be killed by him before he takes to the streets wearing a fencing mask and wielding a sword, seeking revenge. Apparently, some of the characters are aliens or something - two of which keep trying to kill each other with household appliances and there's another one who is obsessed with raspberry soda...

A lot of this movie is padded out with quickly edited sequences of stock footage of political figures, Nazis and other random shit as well as shitty punk band performances. That, on top of the terrible, shot-on-video production value and absolutely terrible sound mixing (it's almost impossible to hear any of the dialog over the constant thrash-hardcore soundtrack), the movie really feels much longer than it is. Overall, "Twisted Issues" is a pretty lacking 'splatter punk' entry.

Grave Encounters (2011, The Vicious Brothers)

"Grave Encounters" pretty much doubles up on the two biggest contemporary horror customs that I find the most insufferable - 'found footage' and supernatural. It's a completely uninspired rehashing...

Some Johnny Knoxville-looking dipshit TV-host for a 'ghost hunter' show takes his production crew into a supposedly haunted asylum where they're to be locked in overnight. They mug for the cameras and wander around the dark halls with a phony psychic, until their tech-guy disappears and each of them begin experiencing malevolent, ghostly energy on and off camera as they struggle to escape the abandoned building.

As far as supernatural horror flicks go, I'm a bit stuck in the past with shit like "The Legend of Hell House" and, of course, "The Shining" being a few standout examples for me, personally, and I really have to stand by "The Blair Witch Project" as being one of the best FF movies I've seen. It's got it's haters, but I'm still on the other side of the fence as far as that goes. These days, however, they don't seem to know how to play their 'subtlety cards' properly. It's either too subtle or much too over-the-top UNsubtle. "Grave Encounters", like most of them, does the boring slamming doors shit up until a certain point when it just gets so excruciatingly obnoxious and expectedly climactic. Once again, we've got 'spirits' that look like the mutants from "I Am Legend" and roar/shriek like some kind of radiation-conceived beast from a Godzilla movie. That shit has gotten so overplayed that it's almost unendurably irritating. With typically uncreepy, jump-scare heavy bullshit. Bickering characters running around in disorientating night-vision. Overuse of CGI, which inevitably kills the whole 'found footage' realism vibe and, oh my god, "Grave Encounters" goes ALL IN with that shit toward the end. If you're tired of the same old horror retreads, then you shouldn't bother with this one. If you want a FAR superior haunted asylum film, check out "Session 9".

Around the World with Fanny Hill (1974, Mac Ahlberg)

I haven't yet seen the first Mac Ahlberg-directed "Fanny Hill" flick - not to be confused with the Russ Meyer version that preceded that - but I had heard that this sequel was superior so I figured I'd start with it. In all, it's a fairly enjoyable sexploitation-comedy, albeit a bit 'light' for my tastes...

The Swedish wife of a smutty TV-commercial director decides that she wants a divorce so she calls upon her best friend to seduce him for the sake of tabloid blackmail. Once the deed is done, the two women decide to travel the world, starting with L.A. where she gets a role in a trashy skin flick which sparks her successful acting career and launches her into superstardom. From there, she travels to Hong Kong, Venice and Munich, while her very jealous ex-hubby trails her, hoping to get her back.

"Around the World with Fanny Hill" is pretty 'light-hearted' sexploit- material with the occasional inclusion of soft-core sex. For the most part, the humor is pretty tasteful and empowering as far as it's central character is portrayed. She's seductive, willful and manipulative. I can't say "Fanny Hill" is my type of flick, since I tend to prefer the more 'serious' and sleazy forms of erotic Euro-exploitation cinema, though this one is entertaining for what it is. It's full of goofy humor and Shirley Corrigan is a fine piece of Scando- tail who spends the majority of her screen time here newd. Who am I to complain?

A Lonely Place to Die (2011, Julien Gilbey)

"A Lonely Place to Die" is a pretty solid survival-horror flick out of the UK, along the lines of "Deliverance" and "Straw Dogs".

A group of rock climbers are hiking through the scenic Scotland mountains when they come across a young Serbian girl buried in a box, equipped with a breathing tube. They rescue her from the claustrophobic confines and soon find themselves on the receiving end of some gunfire from a pair of murderous kidnappers awaiting their ransom money...

It's an entertaining and very well shot film that makes extremely good use of the picturesque mountain range highlands. I'm typically not one to give much of a shit about the nature content of a film, but I thought the sweeping, panoramic backdrop was an undeniable high point with this one. The characters aren't the most interesting or developed, which isn't completely a BAD thing, seeing as how they managed to dodge some cliches that are usually expected in certain types of movies. No romantic subplot or unnaturally heroic feats in the end. It stays reasonably plausible, I thought. Also, the whole angle with the undercover cops doing the trade-off worked well and was pretty tense. In all, I gotta say that this is definitely one that's worth checking out. Not a perfect flick or anything, but pretty damn entertaining.

Attack of the Killer Refrigerator (1990, Michael Savino)

I really got the impression from this one that some people were actually just drunk with a video camera and decided to make this movie on the spot. Nothing seems all that thought out and the production values are some of the shoddiest imaginable so that could very well be the case.

A bunch of drunks at a party all gather around to chisel the ice build-up out of the refrigerators' icebox. And they have WAY too much fun doing so. This pisses off the fridge, who gets revenge by killing and eating some of the people...

"Attack of the Killer Refrigerator" is only about 15-minutes long so it's not worth beating it up too bad. It's laughable and beyond cheezy - the best part involving a cat walking off frame, followed by a jump-cut and then someone's hands in clear view placing the cat on it's 'mark' to be eaten by the killer fridge. There's also a guy's head shown, clear-as-day, as one of the 'fridge jostlers' during the big "climax". This makes the director's only other film, "The Hook of Woodland Heights", actually look professional.