American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore (2014)

The introductory installment of the new, American-produced "Guinea Pig" series is pretty much just an extended remake of the notorious "Flower of Flesh and Blood" film from the original Japanese GP run. Those films struck me as over-hyped when I initially saw them - although I liked "Mermaid in a Manhole", which was pretty decent. Unfortunately, "Bouquet of Guts and Gore" is an inanely tedious example of 'fake snuff'.

Two women are abducted and drugged in some abandoned warehouse type of building before being brutally tortured and killed. During which, of course, it's all captured on several different types of recording devices (VHS, super 8...).

Effects-wise, they did a pretty commendable job with the gory mutilation work (though I can't say much of it looked real enough to be confused as authentic...) but that's clearly where all the 'energy' went. What it really boils down to is that this shit was obviously more effective and 'shocking' back in the '80s when 'faux snuff' material wasn't as commonplace as it is these days. I applaud "Bouquet..." for the same things I do "Flower of Flesh and Blood" and even "The Devil's Experiment", for going balls-out with bloody carnage and reasonably well done gore FX, but other than that there's nothing more to speak of with these one-note - and ultimately boring - over-the-top 'caught-on-camera' shock-flicks. As much as I love "extreme" and depraved forms of cinema, the 'faux snuff' shit never really tickled my taint, as I typically find most of them dull and limited, for the most part. Only so many limbs can be sawn off before I start looking at my watch. Also, having the two female victims rendered totally paralyzed from the start, yet cognizant, made for obviously ZERO reactions to their torture which I thought stifled some potential effectiveness.  I understand there's some more movies coming out under the "American Guinea Pig" stamp that are apparently different ( and hopefully better...) so I intend on eventually checking those out, but as far as this first foray into the U.S.'s take on the series, it was a miss.

Muzan-E (1999)

"Muzan-E" is a very dark and 'disturbing' pseudo-doc that definitely may not 'sit well' with all audiences. The tone of the film is pretty damn realistic and goes about covering some very "heavy" material involving violent perversions and sexual torture - making for a pretty memorable watch if you're like me and dig super-fucked up kinda stuff.

A young female reporter is doing some investigative journalism on the mysterious disappearance of a popular porn actress, known for her work in menstrual-rape fetish films. Apparently, a snuff tape featuring her kidnap and murder showed up at the AV production offices so the reporter attempts to track it down and does so, successfully...

You got a good deal of bloody vag-sucking/fucking, pretty convincing/sadistic "snuff" footage and an interesting "turn" toward the end that I didn't see coming. "Muzan-E" (aka. "Celluloid Nightmares"...) is definitely not one to pass up for fans of 'extreme' Japanese cinema. Highly recommended for 'filth' and gore lovers who want to delve DEEP into some depraved kind of shit.

Lucky Bastard (2014)

Despite how much I rag on the long played out run of 'found footage' movies that have circumscribed the horror genre for quite a few years now, I'm not above eating my own words from time to time when I incidentally come across a decent one. Actually, I hate to say it's also happened lately with "The Visit" and, after seeing "Lucky Bastard", that makes two FF flicks that have surprisingly offered up an unusual comprisal of 'freshness' within this exhausted sub-genre. Not to say I'm going 'soft' on this shit, cuz I've definitely had my fill, overall.

A porn production company holds a special Lucky Bastard contest in which a loyal online pud-tugger can win his own sex scene with a lovely actress. So, a dweeby, non-threatening looking chump is selected and flown out to porn valley, but shit soon goes off the rails when the lucky bastard starts coming across as a bit stalkerish. This rattles the poor pro and the crew, but shooting resumes until the big scene is underway and everything officially takes a turn for the worse - leading up to the 'bastard' showing his true, violent, virgin-rage colors...

There's a healthy amount of sex and nudity, but what really stood out about this one to me was the writing and performances, which are considerably strong. Most notably, the guy who plays the director who was convincing and really entertaining at times. Downside: the violence and gore is actually pretty minimal. You got a fatal pistol-whipping and a guy being ass-blasted with a big, unlubed dildo as the main scenes consisting of any kind of stand-out brutality. That said, "Lucky Bastard" rolls along nicely with some always welcomed full-frontal and substantially competent writing and acting for the most part. Worth a look.

The Visit (2015)

As you well know, M. Night Shyamalan's credibility among film-goers started gradually tapering off with each questionable release following his breakout dead people movie. There was shit involving aliens and villages and Paul Giamatti and then M. Night pretty much said "fuck it" and started doing Airbender and Mark Walberg flops that solidified his status as a sellout laughing stock. Then along comes a 'found footage' movie that I immediately wrote off as Shyamalan's meager attempt to stay relevant by cashing in on this abysmal, genre-killing trend. Well, "The Visit" managed to find it's way into my night of whiskey sours after a buck-and-a-half was dumped into a Redbox and... I'll be damned, this could very well be Shyamalan's best work. No shit.

The plot concerns a brother and sister who go to meet up for the first time with their estranged grandparents out on their farm. The girl is trying to make a documentary of their stay (for the bullshit sake of this tired fucking format...), but they quickly come to realize that their elderly relatives are completely batshit crazy with such 'quirks' as nanna clawing the walls nekkid in the middle of the night, gramps' paranoia of being followed by strangers, and much more. Things eventually come to a head in a trademark 'Shyamalan twist' (goes without saying...) that is actually not too bad...

First off, and it should come as no surprise, the handheld camcorder thing is the main problem I had with "The Visit" and, like many of these types of 'found footage' flicks, is unnecessary for a large portion of the movie, if not all. I don't understand why movies can't just go the "Cannibal Holocaust" route and use the FF 'style' only when it works for a given scene. Structuring a whole movie this way - through an established camera's POV - limits a film greatly and usually stops making ANY sense once things start getting chaotic (they keep the camera rolling and the action always manages to be in the frame...). But it sure is cost effect, right?

Other than that (and the rapping kid... Holy shit was that excruciating!...), "The Visit" actually has it's enjoyable moments involving the whacked out geezers' quality performances and a pretty strong climax. Again, the 'Shyamalan twist' is well executed and the attempts at humor - while uncomfortable - didn't seem to get in the way of the film's 'darker' moments.

Overall - the needless 'found footage' element aside - "The Visit" was quite a bit better than I expected. Definitely M. Night's "purest" horror flick to date, in that it felt like a HORROR flick, more than the overly emotional, 'psychological-thriller' stuff he's done in the past. It's nothing that's going to recharge the genre, but it's a watchable flick.

A Perfect Child of Satan (2012)

"A Perfect Child of Satan" is more of what you would expect from the ever-redundant bore, Lucifer Valentine. At least it's short.

A frumpy goth call girl meets a guy online and rambles about finally meeting him face-to-face in her video diaries. When she shows up at the hotel room where he's at, he beats and chokes her to death...

I really don't have much to comment on as far as this one goes... It's pretty much like all of Valentine's other shit, minus the vomit. Dull with obnoxious editing and sound effects... I'm sure he enjoyed making it, but otherwise, I don't see what the point was.

My Name is A by Anonymous (2012)

The name Shane Ryan didn't register with me until a few minutes into "My Name is A..." when I had to pause to look him up. I knew I wasn't going to recollect fondly and, sure enough, he's the insufferable hack behind the bromidic "Amateur Porn Star Killer" series. From there, I knew I was in for a rough 90 minutes...

This is an attempted biopic of sorts, focusing on the life and crime of 15-year old Alyssa Bustamante who killed her 9-year old neighbor for fun in 2009. The Missouri teen (now in her early-20s...) is currently facing a life sentence for the brutal murder.

The back of the DVD case has a quote from Pick 'N' Mix Flix (never heard of 'em...) that touts, "Think Kids, Gummo, Ken Park...". Clearly, in some inconceivably pretentious way, that's what this guy was going for, but, I must say, I can't think of a less fitting comparison. This movie is a completely aimless mess that never even comes close to exploring it's subject matter, psychological insight or anything of interest - instead, consisting mainly of emo girls sitting around, cutting themselves and making gun gestures to their heads... Constantly! There is absolutely NO development of this girl or her friends or any discernible lead-up to the crime. There DOES, however, involve a range of other characters who are given their own incredibly meaningless, drawn out scenes of hanging out around a warehouse, pulling a shovel out of a dumpster, putting it back, crying, vomiting, etc. There's also a totally random (and equally boring...) Spanish 'music video' (clearly for the sole purpose of helping this chick's singing career...) thrown in, as if the movie wasn't padded with enough tedious bullshit.

"My name is A by Anonymous" is a beyond dull, semi-'found footage' movie that does absolutely nothing with the material it is suppose to be depicting.

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The Dirties (2013)

As I've said before, I have a weakness for 'school shooting' movies so I generally try to check out anything along those lines. "The Dirties" kept me genuinely entertained, despite the 'mock-doc' style that I hate and has also already been done with this type of thing with the 2003 movie, "Zero Day". That, along with the dry comedic elements in "The Dirties", it all came together surprisingly well, I'd say.

A pair of teenage outcasts are making a parody-infused film project for one of their classes that involves them heroically murdering certain teachers and student bullies (whom they refer to as "dirties"...) around their school. They're forced to cut out the violence and obscenity which gives one of the boys the idea to switch the film over from a humorous action/'crime thriller' piece to a documentary of an actual school shooting, perpetrated by non other than them. As the mastermind behind the plan strategizes for the big massacre, the other kid can't seem to take the project seriously and a rift in their friendship deepens when he ditches out on the plan for the hot, popular girl...

Strong points of the film include the performances of the two leads, which are actually very believable considering an aptitude of 'quirkiness' - although it never goes too over-the-top with it. The pacing is spot-on and the faux-doc method - while pointless, as usual - never really gets in the way, as I far as I'm concerned. The outcome is satisfying while not playing out as the all encompassing bloodbath you may expect. Don't expect anything along the lines of Gus Van Sant's "Elephant", as far as containing a cold, protracted campus genocide, but it's not without an enjoyable payoff. I also liked the less-than-subtle correlation between high school bullies and future authoritarians by having one of the lead teenage aggressors wearing a black T-shirt with big white letters reading "POLICE" in several scenes.

"The Dirties" is another astringent and brazen statement on adolescent bullying that, like William Hellfire and Joey Smack's 1999 post-Columbine (by just a few months...) massacre film, "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre", peppers humor into it's apropos message as a more inflammatory means of shedding light on the repercussions of ongoing schoolyard torture.

Afflicted (2013)

It's safe to say that if I had known anything about this one before putting it on, I would have avoided it, altogether. "Afflicted" is a 'found footage' vampire movie. Need I say more?

A terminally ill guy goes on a trip to Paris with his documentarian buddy. After hooking up with a chick, the one guy wakes up with a mysterious wound, starts puking up all his food and reacting strangely to sunlight. On the upside, however, they discover he has super-human strength, speed and Spiderman-like agility. Still, he needs human blood to live and is desperate to find the chick that 'infected' him...

As is the case with so many 'found footage' films, "Afflicted" could have probably worked better had it not been structured this way. It's clear the only reason they did go this route is because, obviously, it's still profitable while being an advantageous way to cut production costs. This format just doesn't work for every variety of horror film (or ANY at this point...) and just ends up limiting these films' range by making a B-story virtually impossible, obscuring the 'action' and FX with implausibly continual, handheld shaky-cam recordings and eliminating most (if not ALL...) cinematic ingenuity (cinematography, lighting, general scene structure...), giving the film a very circumscribed blandness, overall. I'd say "Afflicted" could have done much more with the story and characters had they abandoned the POV bullshit and focused more on them. So, my ruling: don't bother.

Pizza Girl Massacre (2014)

"Pizza Girl Massacre" is a 'slasher' take on the 'found footage' format that isn't going to revamp the ever-dwindling sub-genre, by any means, but it's an entertaining indie- horror/comedy in all fairness.

A group of community theater actors drive out to a cabin in the woods to rehearse for a performance of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream", along with a documentary film crew. The night before their first rehearsal, they get drunk and order some pizzas, only to have the hammered director sexually harass and stiff the delivery girl on her pay. She promptly returns, however, and slaughters the cast and crew while it's captured on their numerous recording devices...

The film had a few chuckle-worthy moments and the incredibly (yet clearly intentionally...) obnoxious cast of characters were amusing. There's also a decent amount of gore and general chaos, involving The Pizza Girl and her deadly pizza cutters. As for the 'cons' - I got some pretty heavy motion sickness at times and I felt the ending with the lone survivor dragged on a bit too long. Still, overall, "Pizza Girl Massacre" is enjoyable and definitely the best 'found footage' flick I've seen in a while.

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Random Acts of Violence (2013)

I knew absolutely nothing about this flick when I put it on the other night out of boredom for a bit of a time-killer. While it was far from GREAT, it's a decent enough 'black comedy'/crime/ mockumentary.

A limey New Yorker is disgusted by the gentrification of the Big Apple since Giuliani cleaned house, so he has a camera crew follow him around as he murders random people in hopes of kick-starting a revolution. Throughout his filmed 'manifesto', he becomes increasingly aggravated by the lack of media coverage of his crimes and tensions rise between him and the director when he tries involving his girlfriend in his killing spree...

"Random Acts of Violence" is obviously another knock-off of "Man Bites Dog" - only in the form of an urban-hipster movie. It actually works well as a more of a character-driven narrative than a serial killer movie - with the main "subject" of the faux-doc being a completely hypocritical and pretentious douchebag which makes him somewhat of an enjoyably unlikable character. Again, it's nothing outstanding in the least, but I've seen far worse so I'd give it a mild recommendation if you dig dark comedies and hate hipsters.

Murder Collection V.1 (2009, Fred Vogel)

My personal take on Toe Tag Pictures' repertoire has been made pretty clear in my past reviews of their movies on various sites so I don't see much need to reiterate on that, but after seeing "Maskhead" it was all down to "Murder Collection V.1" in order to call myself a Fred Vogel film completist (the satisfaction is... overwhelming...). So I checked out MC, with a moderate amount of intrigue which is what TT never fails at even if you don't think very highly of their work...

Pretty similar set-up as the "August Underground" series, only involving faux home-made death footage rather than the pseudo-snuff route. The "hook" is that all the simulated depictions of various murders shown through many different styles of cameras is based around a mysterious 'voice' belonging to the "collector" of all the videos. In between some of the clips his distorted voice offers some philosophical insight into the appeal of watching scenes of real-life carnage for the sake of entertainment. I did not really find this "motive" for the film's content to be all that profound or detract from the "exploitative" factors... The death scenes themselves, ranging from robbery and kidnapping caught on security-cam, to an execution style beheading, and gang related hostage tape are interesting at times (namely, the ones I just mentioned), but most of the bits went on FAR too long. One scene shows a disgruntled boyfriend sitting in front of a TV monitor showing his wife having sex with another man. He spends nearly ten minutes talking about how they met until he gets up and we see him murder her on the hidden camera with, what looked like, an axe... Where the hell was he supposed to be? A closet? Plus, it barely took him any time at all to cut out her heart. This was one part, in particular, I could not for the life of me find "realistic"... Not to mention the autopsy segment which was excruciatingly drawn out and dull. The best scene, to me, was the chilling home-movie of a man forcing two bound boys in their underwear to dance with him. The ending of this clip was quite unexpected...

In all, "Murder Collection" follows Toe Tag's "unique" method of morbid fantasy voyeurism, though it's their least graphic film by far. People are calling it a modern "Mondo Film" which seems about right. Those were pretty boring too... MC will have Toe Tag fanatics creaming their shorts but I didn't find anything all that special about it...

Grave Encounters (2011, The Vicious Brothers)

"Grave Encounters" pretty much doubles up on the two biggest contemporary horror customs that I find the most insufferable - 'found footage' and supernatural. It's a completely uninspired rehashing...

Some Johnny Knoxville-looking dipshit TV-host for a 'ghost hunter' show takes his production crew into a supposedly haunted asylum where they're to be locked in overnight. They mug for the cameras and wander around the dark halls with a phony psychic, until their tech-guy disappears and each of them begin experiencing malevolent, ghostly energy on and off camera as they struggle to escape the abandoned building.

As far as supernatural horror flicks go, I'm a bit stuck in the past with shit like "The Legend of Hell House" and, of course, "The Shining" being a few standout examples for me, personally, and I really have to stand by "The Blair Witch Project" as being one of the best FF movies I've seen. It's got it's haters, but I'm still on the other side of the fence as far as that goes. These days, however, they don't seem to know how to play their 'subtlety cards' properly. It's either too subtle or much too over-the-top UNsubtle. "Grave Encounters", like most of them, does the boring slamming doors shit up until a certain point when it just gets so excruciatingly obnoxious and expectedly climactic. Once again, we've got 'spirits' that look like the mutants from "I Am Legend" and roar/shriek like some kind of radiation-conceived beast from a Godzilla movie. That shit has gotten so overplayed that it's almost unendurably irritating. With typically uncreepy, jump-scare heavy bullshit. Bickering characters running around in disorientating night-vision. Overuse of CGI, which inevitably kills the whole 'found footage' realism vibe and, oh my god, "Grave Encounters" goes ALL IN with that shit toward the end. If you're tired of the same old horror retreads, then you shouldn't bother with this one. If you want a FAR superior haunted asylum film, check out "Session 9".

The Sacrament (2013, Ti West)

Ti West's films have been a little hit-and-miss for me. I thought "House of the Devil" was a dull, overrated 'throwback', but I dug "The Innkeepers" for the most part and "Cabin Fever 2" was an enjoyable splat-fest. I really wasn't all that interested in "The Sacrament", however, due to my immense exasperation with the whole 'mockumentary' craze that has been dominating the horror genre these days, though it had been recommended to me by a few reliable reviewers so I figured... what could it hurt? Well, to be honest, this wasn't as innocuous as I expected, although I was far from blown away...

It follows a VICE crew as they travel to a utopian community to track down one of the journalist's sister. In the meantime, while doing their exposé on the seemingly content residents of the supposedly peaceful grounds, they soon uncover a sordid Jonestown-type of situation going down.

I guess what makes "The Sacrament" one of the better 'found footage' movies as of late is the inclusion of the timely and culturally relevant investigative journalism team, VICE, which I'd say adds more of a palpable purpose for the documentary 'illusion' they're trying to fabricate. Not to say that there aren't your typical moments (quite a few I picked out) that defy logic as to how/why certain circumstances are supposedly being captured on camera. That being said, another favorable quality I found was that the FF format seems to inexplicably come and go from time to time, allowing me - the biased viewer - to suppress the POV concept that I have come to loathe.

As far as the plot and everything, it's actually pretty engaging and the performances are believable - namely, the Jim Jones-esque "Father" character who was pretty intense and creepy. And the whole Eden Parish colony was well established and made for a adequately tense and unsettling setting.

Again, the whole 'found footage' thing works better here than in most other films of this kind I have seen in recent years, but it still tends to get in the way as always, I thought. Still, I gotta consider "The Sacrament" one of the better of it's kind and definitely one of Ti West's stronger flicks. Certainly blows Kevin Smith's pretentious mess "Red State" out of the water, in terms of religious cult-themed horror films. It hasn't turned me around on the FF genre, as a whole, but this is the best I've seen this type of thing 'work' in a while...

Long Pigs (2007, Chris Power & Nathan Hymes)

The 'fake snuff' thing has completely run it's course, as far as I'm concerned. I was never really a huge fan and now it's just become even more boring to me. So why did I watch "Long Pigs"? Because a few people told me it had some notably decent practical gore effects and because I'm just a sucker for the "extreme" variety of cinema.

Two documentary film-makers follow a cannibalistic serial killer around as he kidnaps, kills, mutilates and cooks his victims. They also try to delve into his personal life involving his sickly mother, hockey buddy and job. There's also phony interviews with a radio host, detectives and crime experts, as well as the grieving father of a 9-year old girl whom the killer had abducted and consumed.

As for the effects, they were fine, but based on what I had heard I guess I was expecting a bit more. The most detailed scene of human slaughtering is shown in ultra-fast motion and is nothing all that 'shocking'. Overall, the gore was actually pretty tame in this flick. So, basically, "Long Pigs" is just a Canadian "Man Bites Dog" rip-off. The acting passable, I will say. Otherwise, "Long Pigs" is a pretty unremarkable 'mocumentary'.

Zero Day (2003, Ben Coccio)

Since the massive school shooting at Columbine high school in 1999, a number of varying films have been released based on the delicate subject of teenage oppression leading to campus rampages. Films like Gus Van Sant's "Elephant" that took the 'arthouse' approach that still manages to ooze of exploitation once shots are eventually fired, "We Need to Talk About Kevin" and, of course, the outrageous (and arguably 'too soon') satire from indie jailbird film makers William Hellfire and Joey Smack, "Duck! The Carbine High Massacre". Then you have "Zero Day", which obviously falls into the 'found footage' category of this string of Columbine-based films. I know I've made an abundance of declarations insisting that I have sworn off FF flicks, but I'm a fickle motherfucker and I actually really dug "Zero Day". I might even go so far as to call it one of my favorites of the faux-doc variety.

The two Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold representations, reverentially renamed Andre and Cal, are keeping a video diary highlighting their preparation leading up to a monumental massacre throughout their high school. The boys follow each other around with the camcorder, stating their motives with eerily rational articulation, practicing their assault weapon skills on Bambi plush toys, fashioning firearms into more concealable forms and constructing explosives. Their hate-fueled labors eventually lead up to the much anticipated "zero day" in which they storm the school.

"Zero Day" is an incredibly believable POV enactment of a pair of defective teens gearing up for a blaze-of-glory rampage, much like the home movies of Eric and Dylan - just with more detail, of course. Everything is realistic and natural without a huge amateurish quality brought on by over-acting non-actors. These kids pull off their roles very well. And the big conclusion works well - shown through school security-cam footage as a 911 operator expounds on the violence, via telephone, while pleading with the boys to stop, but, obviously, to no avail.

The overall rationale of this film seems to be in sending the message that those who feel compelled to follow through on mass murder sprees throughout their schools (or anywhere, for that matter) are typically disturbed beyond an average person's sense of understanding or reasoning. At one point, the kids in "Zero Day" make a very direct and felicitous assertion that they are, in no way, influenced by popular culture and even go so far as to demonstrate this affirmation by expeditiously destroying their worldly possessions (DVDs, video games, etc.) on camera. They also explain to their loved ones through their video manifesto that they truly believe that they are helpless and completely passed the point of no return in the devising and follow-through of their "mission". I definitely find this consideration quite apt in referring back to the Columbine calamity, as well as many other young psychopaths whose interests in movies, music and video games were taken into account heavily in the media's probing for probable motivation in the wake of bloodshed. I personally don't think these things typically hold the relevance that people like to figure in determining a fathomable reason behind a sudden outburst of violence. I'd certainly say this film handled this form of reasoning in a well done, nicely candid manner.

"Zero Day" is one of the best movies I've seen on the topic of a school shooting and is a well acted and realistically shot 'found footage' flick. Highly recommended.

Megan is Missing (2011, Michael Goi)

Here we have another addition to the exhaustingly recurrent "found footage" genre that has officially stopped progressing, but still tends to pop up here n' there and cover a few more redundant bases. So here, "Megan is Missing" incorporates online sexual predators with the whole formula that revolves around modern technology to really get WE, the viewer, "connected" with what's going on... Yeah... Eh... It's just not cool anymore, guys. All the Blair Witch and Fred Vogel shit that came out over a decade ago did what you aspiring indie horror guys are trying to do now with your digital cameras, but it's just not affective anymore... Can we please just go back to putting forth an EFFORT instead of shaky, ad-libbed, POV, trying-to-look-realistic-but-failing bullshit? It's just embarrassing now...

Sorry about that, but I had to get my plea out of the way before I officially start this. So "Megan is Missing" does the whole "based on true events" gimmick and follows two 13-14 year old girls who seem to devote a lot of time to web-chatting; eachother and other dumb sounding girls. One of the girls, Megan, is a notorious party girl slut who likes to attend high-school parties and blow her brain dead classmates for free drugs. There's numerous times where she regales her nerdy friend, Amy, of all the times she was raped as a very small child. Which... made her a whore, I guess. Psychology 101. She starts conversing with a fella by the name of SkaterDude online. She goes to meet up with him behind a diner and is never heard from again. Her friend Amy then starts chatting with SkaterDude (a.k.a. Josh) and when she starts giving the cops and news media some information on Josh, Amy goes missing too...

This all leads up to the last 22 minutes on Amy's video diary following her abduction, in which the film becomes a pretty over-the-top exploitation/torture film in the most shameless sense. What's really confusing about it is that the movie credits itself as being something meant to spread awareness of online predators... The cover features a quote from Marc Klaas - the guy whose daughter was kidnapped from a slumber party in their home and found murdered back in '93 - which reads: "A powerful, important film that deserves both attention and discussion". Did he actually fucking watch this?! Calling "Megan is Missing" a film that deserves attention and discussion is like saying that "Niku daruma" deserves public praise for addressing the reality that women HAVE, in fact, been kidnapped, dismembered, gutted and raped. If you sit your teenager down to watch "Megan is Missing" in hopes that they'll discuss it with you after, you're gonna look like the most idiotic parent in the world, plus your kid is gonna think you're fucked in the head. I really don't think that Mr. Klaas saw this movie, though I'm sure he heard it contained the topic of disappearing children and was misled into thinking it was a reputable "wake up call" film. Not the case, sadly...

First of all, the majority of this flick is dull as shit, consisting mostly of these and numerous other teenagers acting like how out-of-touch adults THINK that modern teens act and talk like. I mean, I know they do to a degree, but just listen to the dialog and watch just a few scenes outta this and you'll see what I mean. "You want us to invite HER? But she's, like, totally fucking lame and doesn't even dress like us!". Yeesh... Like After School Special dialog but with more cursing... After Megan disappears, they show some funny faux-news footage and a hilariously dramatic reenactment of the abduction, complete with lightning strikes every 4 seconds. Then, the friend is kidnapped and... of course... the antagonist records it all on her camera for the sake of "found footage" (shitty fucking genre!) At this point, it becomes "The Poughkeepsie Tapes" or "Hostel" (whatever) showing her locked in a dungeon and also including a lengthy rape scene. Not "opening peoples eyes" to the potential dangers of online interaction, but straight-up BRUTAL horror flick. Plain and simple. And I wasn't all that impressed. Yeah, they took the violence overboard and got controversial, which is something I typically tend to appreciate in cinema, though the whole "found footage" angle just ruined it for me. I'm so sick of it...

Hate Crime (2012, James Cullen Bressack)

It's hard for me, at this point, to be thoroughly even-handed when dealing with the exasperatingly homogeneous 'found footage' genre. I wouldn't say that I'm one of those people that has a comprehensive dislike for this style of horror film-making - I just feel that it's been heavily reduced to a medium in which indie 'up-and-comers' can simply discard 'traditional' (for lack of a better term) movie-making components and, above all, STYLE, and just sorta... wing it. I don't typically see a lot of artistry and 'character' within the 'found footage' mark since I can't help but feel that it has run it's course. That's not to say I can't find this type of thing enjoyable from time to time... It's just getting harder for me...

James Cullen Bressack's "Hate Crime" details the home-invasion of a Jewish family by a trio of masked neo-Nazi's who wish to "welcome" their new neighbors. It kicks off with the dad recording his kid's birthday party on their home camcorder when they are suddenly ravaged by the bigoted maniacs. The film follows the torture and ruthless torment the family endures throughout the course of the night as the camera captures it all.

My main gripe with "Hate Crime" is a complaint I have with a lot of 'found footage' films and that would be that more of them should apply a mixture of POV and 'conventional' film-making elements. This, of course, isn't specific to HC, but with many of these kinds of flicks, it stops making sense WHY we're seeing what we're seeing. The first 3-5 minutes of HC bothered me for the fact that the dad positions the camera with he and his wife PERFECTLY in frame while they quietly bicker in the kitchen. Why would he want the birthday celebration home-video broken up with marital squabbling? And when the Aryan Brotherhood goons come barging in, the dad takes off running - camera still in tow. Break it over the fucker's head, dude! This is followed by a lengthy scene in the basement where the family is tied up, raped, FORCED to rape and brutalized while the aggressors now record their tomfoolery. This actually made more sense up until a point - kinda like the "August Underground" films (of which this reminded me a LOT of) where the killer's are the ones who actually bring the camera into the situation out of a general love of documenting their heinous crimes. Still, there came a certain point where I felt that even these vicious hate crime thugs would abandon the whole video-recording thing, but... eh...

On the plus-side, the performances are mostly strong. The big body-builder guy (named "Three" - all of the bad guys code-named themselves 1, 2 and 3) was good as the real unpredictable SICKO of the group, even as he was occasionally over-the-top.

So, like I said, "Hate Crime" reminded me a lot of the much more violent and disgusting "August Underground" series as well as the awesome Spanish film "Kidnapped". I don't think the POV shit really worked with this film. However, I know there are people out there that really dig brutal 'faux-snuff' themed films who would probably like to check this out.
http://www.psykikjunkypictures.com/

V/H/S (2012)

I think the "found footage" sub-genre can pretty much close out on this note. Now that those weak-ass "Paranormal Activity" flicks are finally tapering off, I'm thinkin' we can look back fondly at "V/H/S" as a worthy conclusion to a popular modern horror 'trend'. At least, that's the way I'd prefer it...

The wrap-around for this 'mockumentary'-style anthology deals with a group of miscreants with a camcorder who are trying to make money by recording bullshit home-movies of them pulling unsuspecting women's shirts up and smashing up abandoned buildings. General raucous behavior, pretty much. They're given a job from an unknown party to break into an old man's house and steal a certain video tape. The old man is slumped in a chair, seemingly dead and surrounded by TV monitors and tapes, so the thieves start rummaging through the stacks and begin playing some of the videos...

The first video (directed by David Bruckner) follows a group of douche-bag young guys who go bar-hopping with one of them wearing spy-cam glasses. They end up bringing a few chicks back to their motel room with hopes of scoring some amateur on-camera fuckin'. Shit goes bad when one of the girls passes out and the other turns into a blood-guzzling succubus... This one was pretty fucking cool!

Next is "Second Honeymoon" (directed by Ti West) about a young couple on a Grand Canyon vacation that turns creepy when a girl breaks into their motel room while they're sleeping and fucks with them. This one had the big "twist" at the end that I didn't find all that satisfying after the heavily drawn-out build up...

Segment three (directed by Glenn McQuaid) has a group of boisterous youths hiking through the woods and smoking pot until they are suddenly murdered by a brutal killer that refuses to show up on camera. This one wasn't the worst. Had a few decent kills.

"The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger" (directed by Joe Swanberg) is the next one and goes the web-cam route. A girl with a terribly unattractive haircut is web-chatting with her med student boyfriend about some strange shit that's going on in her house at night. Through their pixilated interactions, she shows him glimpses of little things that appear to be babies running around in the dark. I'd have to call this the worst portion of the movie. Piss-poor acting and a confusingly vague ending...

The final story (directed by the Radio Silence Production team) is the big 'special effects' laden installment, although the premise is very basic. A group of friends show up at a mansion for a Halloween costume party (one of them equipped with a nanny-cam in in mask of his bear suit). The house appears to be empty until they wander up a hidden staircase leading to the attic where a group of guys have a girl chained up. They appear to be preparing some kind of sacrifice, but it quickly becomes apparent that there are supernatural forces in their midst as they attempt to rescue the girl and flee the evil inhabited house...

"V/H/S" is a pretty decent anthology. The best segments are certainly the first and very last. There's a good amount of bloody demises, nudity and some cleverly morbid visuals. Again, I didn't like the web-cam piece and I expected a little more from Ti West's contribution, although it wasn't horrible. A couple of things I noticed though, in terms of reoccurring themes, were young, college-age kids "bro-ing down". Seriously, the majority of the stories were douche-bag guys looking for pussy or smoking pot. Got a little tiring... Also, I thought the wrap-around material could've been handled a little better. I liked what they were going for, but I felt that it didn't really finish off all that strong. Still, "V/H/S" is actually a surprisingly cool flick, overall, that I would definitely recommend - especially to those like-minded individuals who figured the "found footage" thing had been beaten into the ground with all the repetitive teenybopper "Paranormal Activity"/"Last Exorcism" horse shit that's been vomited up over the past few years....

Suicide (2004, Raoul Heimrich)

I've seen a lot of these "mockumentary" fake snuff/POV films such as the "August Underground" series, "Tumbling Doll of Flesh", "Suicide Dolls", etc, though Raoul Heimrich's "Suicide" is easily the most convincing approach to this particular cinematic form that I have seen. While most of this type of shit goes for blatant "shock" value like hardcore violence, sex, gore and other such selling points, "Suicide" consumes you in an aspect of realism that neither bores you, nor affronts you with forced facades of outrageous on-screen carnage (all of which I typically LOVE). The means in which this flick goes about it's straight-forward idea of communicating the extremes of online reality "shock" sites focuses on segmented variations of people intent on ending their lives...

A couple is apparently requesting the permission of suicidal people to show up at their home (or desired location) and record their last moments and death on video...

There's not a whole lot more to the film than that. The couple are shown in their car in between locations commenting on what was just shot. The rest of the film is a series of bleak and entirely disturbing simulations of various suicides conducted by different types and classes of people. Some explain in depth their reason for self-destruction - some are eerily silent about it. Eventually, it gets to the point where the couple become so warped by their new occupation that they become far too involved in what they are meant to record, obviously from an uninvolved perspective.

The most disturbing scene, in my opinion, simply involves two young women desperately attempting to overdose on pills. The scene is almost completely without dialog which makes it so absorbingly powerful that it's almost painful to watch. Other effective scenes include a harsh looking wrist-slashing, a heroin overdose, and a failed air-injection...

"Suicide" is one that's tough to recommend unless you can get into these "tougher" kinds of horror films. It's a fucked up, yet harrowing film that I urge you to check out!

Skew (2010, Seve Schelenz)

My tolerance for the crowd-pleasing "found footage" sub-genre is on a continuous decline with every movie I see that chooses this ever-accessible POV medium. I'm one of those admirers of the whole "Blair Witch" gimmick and was admittedly affected when I first saw it over ten years ago. Others such as "Rec 1&2", "Cloverfield", "August Underground", etc, etc, also utilized this voyeuristic method of involving the viewer further into the film to where you, yourself, are almost a character. But like anything else that is repeatedly promulgated on you, it begins to wear itself out and at this point I'm finding it hard to be impressed by these 'camcorder shot' horror films...

Now, in all fairness, one of these types of films may have some cool shit going on (hardcore violence, chaotic intensity, convincing actors) and I refuse to sit here and NOT be evenhanded when it comes to cinema (... sometimes). Nova Scotia film maker Seve Schelenz's "Skew" is one in which I saw a lot of cleverness and creativity looming below the surface, but when all was said and done, I was left far too confused.

It's about a trio of twenty-somethings who are on a road trip to a friend's wedding. One of them is documenting their trip and it become known that he is obsessed with his camcorder and compulsively records almost everything that is going on. Throughout their travels, those whom he videotapes (motel managers, cops, tourists, gas station attendants) faces are distorted through the camera. Before long, that person is found dead or, sometimes, murdered.

The friends soon begin to speculate whether or not the camera, itself, is what is determining the deaths of these innocent bystanders... In the end, it is very unclear - at least, to me. I have my own assumptions though they don't quite match up with the event shown in "Skew". The momentum of the movie comes from the burning questions that build while you watch it and you figure the pay-off is going to correspond with what you've seen. Now, I'm not going to trash "Skew" by saying that it didn't make enough sense, because I typically enjoy movies that allow you to interpret the "symbols" for themselves. However, I don't feel like there was enough there for the viewer to make heads or tails of what Schelenz was trying to say with the film's conclusion. It IS quite interesting and it DID leave me wondering once the credits started to roll, though I just didn't GET IT. Who tagged the cop? How did the bus crash? Was it ghosts? Doesn't seem like it...

Overall, "Skew" is an intriguing film with pretty authentic sounding dialog and, actually, a few top-notch moments involving a few good jump scares and one scene showing a figure running through a field that was genuinely creepy! "Skew" is one you may need to see for yourself...