Leatherface (2017)

As it were, the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" well clearly hasn't dried up - hence, we get yet another piece of the Sawyer family timeline, this time in the form of another prequel. This one, however, is a precursor to Hooper's '74 original; not the '03 remake. I'll say, this one seemed promising enough seeing as how it was directed by the guys who did the memorably savage home-invasion flick, "Inside" and I couldn't fathom it possibly being any worse than that 3D piece of shit from a few years back. So here's how they went about the origin story:

First taking place in 1955, where the Sawyer clan is celebrating the birthday of a young, soon-to-be 'Leatherface' (named Jed) who is gifted with, what would eventually become, his gas-powered weapon of choice that he's urged to 'break in' on a bound neighbor. From there, we see the Sawyer boys lure the sheriff's daughter to her death, prompting the vengeful lawman to whisk Jed off to a mental facility. Cut to ten years later, mother Sawyer has acquired the means to hire a lawyer to fight for visitation which is denied, goading her into causing a deadly nuthouse riot/break out for Jed and a few other highly destructive and violent patients. After robbing and massacring the patrons of a rural diner, they hole up in a run down trailer as the sheriff homes in on their whereabouts...

For those who complained that 2006's, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" was a let-down as far as a needless prequel is concerned, "Leatherface" goes back further, giving us the teenage years and lead-up to the infamous horror character's 'transformation' into the flesh-masked, chainsaw-lugging maniac... And, I wasn't all that impressed with it, overall. This flick DID do a few things I liked, but ultimately it was nothing special and just felt far too detached from any of the other TCM movies, especially the original, of which, again, this is suppose to 'prequelize'. In no way can I buy into the reasonably sympathetic, much too articulate and sensitive kid in this - in any conceivable way - transitioning into the retarded, overweight cannibal lummox we see 'later' in Hooper's film. I guess this was suppose to be a surprise reveal, yet I found it to be the most glaring misstep of the movie. It just didn't fucking work.

Aside from that, the 50s-60s period setting is a definite plus in helping with a fairly gritty 'tone' and there's a few decent gore scenes, but nothing too outrageous. However, props go out to some gratuitous necrophilia! I just think, in all, they could've gone a multitude of ways with something like this and connected it so much better with the '74 film, but, at the end of the day, it just hit me as another tired and pointless TCM cash-in and a disappointing 'back story' to Leatherface.

It Comes at Night (2017)

I was interested in checking out "It Comes at Night" since it was in theaters (though not quite long enough in my area for me to make it to a showing, apparently...) - having not given much away in the trailer I'd seen, but looking like something that may be well worth checking out. Hell, anything without James Wan's name on it seems to be more or less worth the price of a movie ticket in today's mainstream horror climate, what with stuff like "The Witch", "Don't Breathe" and the like. It definitely didn't disappoint. This one is a dark, paranoia and character-driven apocalyptic piece, stripped of the usual horror cliches and tropes.

A family of three, seeking safety in their rural home from some kind of deadly contamination that's befallen the earth, take on a further leaven of perturbation when they allow another surviving family to stay with them. As it turns out, moral conscience does NOT supersede self-preservation when you're facing an otherwise cut-throat dystopian world stricken with the threat of infection...

It needs to be said - if you're looking for something along the lines of "28 Days Later" or "The Crazies" you're not going to find it here. The overall focus of "It Comes At Night" is not the catastrophe that is plaguing humanity, nor does it even go about explaining in ANY real detail WHAT the hell this virus is - how it's contracted (airborne, physical contact...) or what it actually does to those who get it (though it's made clear they need to be promptly burned once the first signs of it are detected...). In these respects, the movie roots it's horror elements primarily in the mental distress and desperation of characters doing whatever they feel they have to do to protect their loved ones as opposed to being chased around by ravenous, infected ghouls. I'll say, this movie kept me pretty far on edge for it's entire run-time and hits hard with a exceptionally harrowing conclusion. If you're looking for a tense, moody and really well acting horror movie give this one a go!

Sledge (2014)

In this moment, I'm having a hard time recalling a more pointless movie then "Sledge" that I have come across. I've seen some truly awful, cheap, worthless pieces of shit, but nothing that was as so clearly intentionally bad and mind-bogglingly boring as this idiotic fucking 'slasher'... thing.

Campers are killed off by a sledge-toting killer in a mask who thinks he's living in a video game...

What makes "Sledge" so fucking frustrating is that there is not the faintest hint of passion behind it, yet a "we know this sucks, but we don't care" attitude, hence, the obvious last-minute idea to present it as a bad late night horror feature - a movie-within-a movie, basically, hosted by a puppet, under the label Craptastically Horrific Productions, that some bitch is watching on TV. Almost seems as though they started off trying for some kind of legit, micro-budget slasher concept but blew their meager funds on pot and beer early on and decided to goof off for the rest of the shoot with banal, ad-libbed, dick-joke padded dialog. There's nothing humorous about these characters or the annoying, babbling killer who only shows up a mere handful of times when the long-winded, inane dialog ceases, allowing for him a moment to murder someone without the aid of any of those pesky special effects. Unfortunately, the endless uninteresting scenes of sleep-inducing conversation weren't enough to extend what should've been a six minute short into a painfully long 75-minute feature, so they keep cutting to the bitch on the couch watching "Sledge" who has two or three lengthy, ponderous fucking phone calls that we get to hear that don't matter AT ALL. Again, I firmly believe this was a genuine attempt that was given up on early in the production, but sloppily finished and released as a means of inexplicable cinematic trolling. Fuck these morons.

Las Caras de la Muerte (2006)

I guess the title to this Mexican release translates to "The Faces of Death", which definitely had me interested upon getting the opportunity to check it out. Unfortunately, that's some VERY false advertising - as this thing is just bull riding footage. Yeah... Not a Mexican "Faces of Death" by any stretch.

Maybe some of these people died as a result of being bucked off of an angry bull's haunches; it's completely possible, but, from what I could tell, the vast majority of them seemed fine.

That's pretty much all we're talkin', here, aside from a few stadium brawls and random dancing and Mexican drinking game interludes. Granted, I enjoy watching bull riding clips but when it dawned on me early on in this that it was solely bull riding, I knew this was a total con. Maybe there's a 'truer' Mexican "Faces of Death" out there that I haven't come across and, if there isn't, hopefully one hits because this is definitely nothing even CLOSE to a 'mondo' death-film. What an egregious con!

American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore (2014)

The introductory installment of the new, American-produced "Guinea Pig" series is pretty much just an extended remake of the notorious "Flower of Flesh and Blood" film from the original Japanese GP run. Those films struck me as over-hyped when I initially saw them - although I liked "Mermaid in a Manhole", which was pretty decent. Unfortunately, "Bouquet of Guts and Gore" is an inanely tedious example of 'fake snuff'.

Two women are abducted and drugged in some abandoned warehouse type of building before being brutally tortured and killed. During which, of course, it's all captured on several different types of recording devices (VHS, super 8...).

Effects-wise, they did a pretty commendable job with the gory mutilation work (though I can't say much of it looked real enough to be confused as authentic...) but that's clearly where all the 'energy' went. What it really boils down to is that this shit was obviously more effective and 'shocking' back in the '80s when 'faux snuff' material wasn't as commonplace as it is these days. I applaud "Bouquet..." for the same things I do "Flower of Flesh and Blood" and even "The Devil's Experiment", for going balls-out with bloody carnage and reasonably well done gore FX, but other than that there's nothing more to speak of with these one-note - and ultimately boring - over-the-top 'caught-on-camera' shock-flicks. As much as I love "extreme" and depraved forms of cinema, the 'faux snuff' shit never really tickled my taint, as I typically find most of them dull and limited, for the most part. Only so many limbs can be sawn off before I start looking at my watch. Also, having the two female victims rendered totally paralyzed from the start, yet cognizant, made for obviously ZERO reactions to their torture which I thought stifled some potential effectiveness.  I understand there's some more movies coming out under the "American Guinea Pig" stamp that are apparently different ( and hopefully better...) so I intend on eventually checking those out, but as far as this first foray into the U.S.'s take on the series, it was a miss.