Discopath (2013)

I actually really wanted to like this one more since there were quite a few things I thought it was doing right that fell short, overall, due to all that it ended up doing wrong. "Discopath" is a French/Canadian slasher flick that occasionally hits it's 'mark' with it's horror/exploit 'throwback' aim, but mostly just sucks...

A demure 1970s New York fry cook loses his job after hearing some disco music and seizing up with rage. He then by chance meets up with a chick he used to know who invites him to a disco club where he blacks out and brutally murders her under the stage - thus, hopping a plane to Montreal to start a new life. We catch up with him four years later - working as the "deaf" maintenance man at a Catholic girls college. Once again, he ends up hearing some disco and loses his cool - slaughtering a few of them and reviving the case of the disco killer.

Again, the FEEL of "Discopath" actually reminded me a lot of 'old-school' 70s-80s horror/serial killer flicks, but unfortunately the movie is put together in such a blunderous and disjointed way that it's almost impossible to get 'into'. The main character (killer) is completely underdeveloped and no one else is given the central spotlight long enough, so everything just pretty much falls flat in terms of augmenting a primary character structure. You got your typical detective 'sub-plot' that doesn't fit in at all, with terrible - almost comically toned writing and performances - and there's the killer's psychotic alone-time antics with severed female heads, which is equally laughable when it seemed clear that it was suppose to be disturbing on some level. What I thought worked with "Discopath" was that, in certain moments, the shittiness and lack of direction worked to some degree in formulating a 'feel' that fit the time period in which the film was set. It's a very MILD plus, as far as I'm concerned and I assume it was incidental considering how terribly the film was directed... Also, controversial make-up FX artist, Rémy Couture, handled the gore work for this, which is expectedly good, though it could have used a bit more of his talents, I thought. Still, there's a few decent gore/kill scenes.

In all, "Discopath" sucks, but there was such a potentially decent movie to be done here that it's almost frustrating. Needed more focus on the killer, some more kill scenes and less of the annoying detective shit. And better story structure.

Last House on the Beach (1978)

"Last House on the Beach" is an Italian 'rape/revenge' flick that fails to deliver on pretty much every conceivable aspect of what you would want or expect out of this kinda thing. The result, obviously, is a weak-ass 'exploitation' outing.

A trio of bank robbers experience car trouble after a deadly heist and decide to hide out in a ritzy beach house while they fix it up. Unfortunately for the Catholic girls practicing Shakespeare there for the weekend, they quickly become the terrified hostages and sex objects...

Aside from one less-than-noteworthy on-screen rape, the majority of the violence is implied or just outright cut away from. Namely, a scene in which one of the guys who was earlier stabbed in the pelvis by one of the girls (though, later on his wound inexplicably travels up to his abdomen...) decides to 'get even' by driving his sharpened walking stick into her previously unsullied Catholic slit, which is almost completely off-screen! And because of this, the film's antagonists come across as very non-threatening and prosaic most of the time. So, yeah, much too 'tame' for my tastes, but on the plus side it was fairly well shot... But so what? For more superior 'rape/revenge' flicks, check out "House on the Edge of the Park", "Death Weekend" or "Demented".

Lust in Hell: Edge of the World (2009)

"Lust in Hell" is about as bland and lifeless as I've seen Japanese horror in quite some time. Thing is, there was definitely a story here that I felt could have worked, somewhat, if it just hadn't been so poorly directed.

A teenage girl escapes from a mental hospital and ends up meeting a suicidal hitman (I think...) who is in the midst of flaking out on his organized crime syndicate who, in turn, wants him 'eliminated'. The girl has this ability to pull dead people out of this Hell portal she sees - which usually looks like a flower, but at one point looks like a giant vagina. Turns out that everyone in the movie is coping with some kinda loss and the portal comes into play in saving their lives against the betrayed thugs in the end...

Everything about "Lust in Hell" falls flat, except for the few gorgeous-titted girls, which was absolutely the saving grace of this flick. There's a handful of gratuitous sex scenes thrown in that - as out-of-place as they were - bumps this movie up a notch or two on my nonexistent rating scale. Especially for the girl-on-girl scene. Other then that, it's a very poorly executed premise involving ghosts and... 'non-ghosts' that crawl out of Hell's cunt all covered in tar... But there's very little focus on these elements, overall, as the movie is just cluttered with unimportant characters and back stories and long, drawn out scenes of pure nothingness. Avoid this mess...

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

Back in the day they could pull off the made-for-TV horror movies particularly well (especially by today's standards...) and among the most famous from that time is undoubtedly "Dark Night of the Scarecrow". I finally just got around to checking this one out and I'm definitely glad I did.

It's set in a small farm town where a retarded man-child rescues a little girl - also his best friend, much to the leering suspicion of the towns folk - from a dog attack. But, of course, the residents immediately think that the mentally impaired oaf was responsible so a mob of local yokels is formed and chases him out into a field where he's attempting to hideout as a scarecrow. They discover him and he's executed on the spot. Several seconds later, a call comes in that the girl is conscious and that he was actually a hero. The following court hearing finds the men involved not guilty, but before long, some kind of vengeful force starts picking them off one by one...

"Dark Night" is far from any straight-up killer scarecrow flick, but actually a slow-burn, character driven suspense story with a bit of a supernatural undercurrent. The performances from Charles Durning and Larry Drake are commendable and the atmosphere is notably creepy at times. Of course, there's no gore or nudity to speak of, but for a network television movie it's pretty dark and 'heavy' in tone, overall. If you haven't given this one a shot yet, I recommend you do.

Nekro (1998)

I hadn't seen this shot-on-video 'shocker' in quite a few years so I put it in recently for a quick re-watch - seeing as how it's only about 20-minutes long. As I remembered, "Nekro" is a very 'hollow' and unmemorable gore short.

A guy pulls up to a house, drags an unconscious woman out of the back of his van and up to the attic. Later, he storms in and stabs her to death before having angry sex with her mutilated body...

There IS a little bit of a "surprise" ending that was obviously thrown in just for the hell of it - although his whole movie had a 'just for the hell of it' vibe. It's basically just meant to offend most and to arouse those who dig necrophilia. That's fine, but I guess it just did neither for me. It's shot fairly well, considering they were clearly working with a budget of ZERO, and the blue lighting was alright. The sound seemed to be dubbed entirely with guttural distortion and over-the-top squishy sound-effects, which was kind of amusing. Overall, it's just a quick film about corpse-fucking. Check out Nacho Cerdà's "Aftermath" or "Inner Depravity Vol. 1" for much better examples of this kinda thing.

Wetlands (2013)

"Wetlands" is a very entertaining 'coming-of-age' German flick that 'hit me' as somewhat of a cross between Lars Von Trier's "Nymphomaniac" and a Gregg Araki film. I found it to be quite engrossing, despite a few aspects kinda missing their 'mark'.

A 'quirky' teenage skater girl with a 'thing' for bodily fluids and testing the hygienic boundaries of her vagina (by occasionally swiping it along shit and jizz covered public toilet seats...) has a serious 'mishap' while shaving her asshole. Compounded by the fact that she already has hemorrhoids, she ends up in the hospital. Following her successful sphincter surgery, she continually attempts to arrange to have her divorced parents show up at the same time with hopes that they will reconcile. As she desperately tries to carry out this plan, she develops a personal (albeit, awkward...) relationship with her male nurse and lies about the progression of her recovery in order to stay...

In my synopsis, I'm actually downplaying how crazy this film is. A few notable topics "Wetlands" covers are tampon swapping, attempted infanticide (I felt this was a particular element that came and went a bit too abruptly...), a group of guys circle-jerking on a pizza in slow-motion and formalistic vag-shaving... Along with the weirdness - the performances are all strong and make for interesting characters and dialogs and the overall 'tone' of the film is oddly upbeat and with a punk-rock 'flair'. Again, there were a few scenes that seemed a bit out-of-place or unneeded, I thought, but overall, "Wetlands" is a highly enjoyable drama with more references to torn assholes then I've ever seen on film.

Wrong Way (1972)

Total down-n-dirty sleaze-fest here, folks. Drugs, rape-galore and a complete lack of production-value make "Wrong Way" an unabashedly shitty 'exploit'- entry.

Two girls are taking a shortcut down a deserted road when their car overheats and they have to pull over. Thankfully, there's a couple of horny hippies on a beer-run who lure the girls into their Jeep and bring 'em on back to their 'campsite' where they're toking up with some scummy bikers. Then - after a frenzied rape orgy - the hippies split, stranding the girls in the middle of the woods. While wandering around, they come across a cult of psychos... Then the movie ends with an inexplicably tacked on sub-plot with a couple of Mexicans 'fingercuffing' a chick in a motel room before getting into a deadly shootout with some cops...

As mean and trashy as this flick was - it's pretty boring and uninteresting, overall. Some truly horrid acting and filthy biker-hippies with clearly limp dicks and full-on reefer madness, humping away at a couple of hairy-bushed broads. Then that's pretty much it... Not the worst I've come across, but nothing stand-out as far as rapey '70s 'exploitation' goes...

Django Unchained (2012)

My appreciation for Quentin Tarantino pretty much fades after his early break-through gangster films, as he has since redirected his 'talents' toward just making overblown, tongue-n-cheek fanboy spectacles. Everything he's done - post-"Jackie Brown" - HAS to be a cartoonish, genre-inspired 'throwback' - constantly lacking the grittiness and writing/character-driven appeal of his first few (completed) films. "Django Unchained" was his 'Grindhouse' homage to spaghetti westerns...

Newly sold slave-boy, Django, is purchased and freed by a German bounty hunter who requires his help in tracking down some vicious plantation thugs. Things seem to go well for them in their travels so they team up and make a killing (pun very much intended...) in the bounty hunting game. Eventually, they figure they'll infiltrated Leonardo DiCaprio's plantation where Django's wife is serving as a "house nigger"...

Now, in all fairness, "Django Unchained" is the best 'western' I've seen. I hate 'westerns'. HATE them. I find the look and overall tone of them to be incredibly banal, repetitious and lame. Even the so-called "violent" ones people have tried recommending to me are never violent enough to make up for how expectedly bland and arid they end up being. John Wayne was one of the most irritatingly overrated actors in the history of film, as far as I'm concerned. Anyways... While I can't say that "Django Unchained" blew me away by any means - it had enough of that overly-stylized Tarantino violence and a decent enough plot to keep the almost 3-hour long runtime rolling along. That said, the characters were very one-dimensional and the gimmicky quick-zoom thing was annoying. It also could've scaled back on the comedy, I thought. So yeah, for a 'western' it was alright, but, obviously, I'm somewhat biased. As popular as they are and as much box-office 'draw' as his films amass, I personally haven't noticed Tarantino making a smooth transition from his early 'indie' efforts to Hollywood circut film-making. It all ended with the insipid "Kill Bill" saga - showing that he's just trying WAY too hard. Hell, I always feel more and more like I'm watching a long, ultra-expensive Superbowl ad with each Tarantino movie that comes out. It's like I'm just watching him and his fucked up chin throwing hundreds-of-millions of dollars around on screen for three hours.

Squirmfest (1989)

This is a pretty notorious title in the realm of Japanese "scat" films and in terms of what I was expecting, it completely met my expectations. I'm not exactly into scat flicks, but I like the "freak show" elements that derive from this type of shit...

"Squirmfest" starts with a chick eating an entire plate of night crawler-laced noodles, followed by a glass of milk - also filled with worms. She then plays piano while eventually taking a shit on the floor. Her instructor (I assume that's who he is) forces her to eat her maggot covered shit. There's some fucking, piss drinking, beetle eating, more fucking, shit-on-face, etc...

That's pretty much it. Nasty stuff. The scenario (piano teacher and student) doesn't really "work" due to the fact that the camera crew is visible in nearly every shot, but what do ya expect. Clearly, "Squirmfest" is hard one to track down and it's defiantly NOT WORTH tracking down unless you dig this type of "extreme" fetish filth.

Storm Warning (2007)

For a film directed by a man whose heyday was positioned primarily within the "Scream"-clone 'genre cesspool' of the late 90s-early 2000s - "Storm Warning" is an exceptionally entertaining "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"-inspired 'ozploit' horror flick.

A yuppie lawyer and his French wife take a dinghy out into the Australian waters and get lost. With a storm approaching, they pull off and go looking for assistance when they come across a typically unwelcoming looking farmhouse. While snooping around the property, they come across heaps of filth and a shed full of marijuana. Eventually, the inhabitants return home and are feeling less than hospitable...

Obviously, it's FAR from original and is pretty over-the-top at times, but still somehow manages to stay consistently enjoyable, throughout. The Aussie hillbillies are outrageously deranged and amusing - especially the horny, crazy-eyed old man - and there's a few really good (yet highly implausible...) death scenes. Let's just say, the people who're killed in this aren't just killed - they're fucking pulverized. The dick-eating dog was especially awesome. Good shit. Again, it's absolutely nothing 'new', but "Storm Warning" is a fun one.

ABCs of Death 2 (2014)

I enjoyed the first "ABCs of Death" anthology quite a bit. Definitely ranks among the best of it's kind I've seen and seemed to cater amply toward more "extreme" horror buffs with certain segments, I thought. Since seeing that, I was pretty stoked for the sequel and I must say - and some will argue - it tops it's predecessor.

Same set-up as the first film - 26 film-makers from around the world are asked to pick a letter of the alphabet and a word beginning with said letter and make a short film based on that word. Each installment is roughly 4-6 minutes in length and contains a prominent DEATH theme...

Some of the more notable shorts were "C is for Capital Punishment" - a guy is wrongfully executed - via sloppy axe beheading - for a crime he didn't commit. "D is for Deloused" - a stop-motion animated bit by Robert Morgan (known for "The Cat with Hands") about a dead guy who is resurrected by bugs to exact revenge on his killers. There's also another cool animated segment from Bill Plympton, which is a more chaotic and morbid take-off on his 1988 short, "How to Kiss". "J is for Jesus" was a decent one about some kind of 'angel' that is sent to protect a homosexual from a mob of God-fearing killer fag-haters and "S is for Split" was a pretty well-shot home invasion bit. One of the best, I thought, was "V is for Vacation" - a POV joint about a killer prostitute. "X" was cool, as it featured Béatrice Dalle, of "Inside" fame and THE best, hands down, was "Z" which was a brilliant fucking idea.

There's a few other good ones and some flat-out shitty ones - like, "F is for Falling" and Larry Fessenden's "N" segment - both were self-indulgent with very weak payoffs. Overall, I like these "ABCs" flicks and I hope they do more. They're basically just entertaining "samplings" of a wide range of film-makers and 'styles' with a hefty amount of gore, usually, so I can't see being too picky about it as a whole. Each segment is short so the discouraging looking 2-hour runtime actually goes by pretty fast, so I give "ABCs 2" a hearty rec. I know it's not everyone's "thing", but for the good bits it contains it's well worth a watch.

Hot Summer in the City (1976)

"Hot Summer in the City" is a decent blaxploitation/XXX-roughie. Not as 'nasty' as I usually prefer, but still sleazy enough to keep me somewhat entertained.

A teenage girl is dropped off after a date to find her mom getting boned by multiple dudes so she runs off. She's later found wandering the dark streets by a car-load of horny negros who chase her down and haul her back to the cabin where they're hiding out in preparation for a big race-war. There, they make their new honkey slut into their servant and gamble over who gets to fuck her - which ends up being pretty much all of them - including their retarded midget flunky  who usually just jerks off in the corner. Shit ends up hitting the fan when one of the guy's jealous black girlfriend shows up...

Not a bad 'hardcore' exploit- flick, overall. Wasn't really as 'rough' as it probably could've been, but it's full of interracial sexual abuse and whitey-hating jive talk - all you can and SHOULD expect from one of these 'blaxploit'-roughies. Not the best, but worth a look for uber-sleaze fans.

Merry Little Christmas (2010)

Without a doubt, "Merry Little Christmas" is one of the best and most fucked up shorts I've seen in a hell of a long time. It covers a wide range of incredibly depressing and nasty topics in some pretty no-holds-barred ways, such as rape, domestic violence, suicide, Hell - and all on Xmas!

A young woman recalls witnessing the merciless brutalization of her mother by her father as a child during Christmas time. Both her and her mother have since tried to cope with it - only the holidays seem to bring out their emotional turmoil, as mommy is a self-harming wreck and daughter has grotesque visions of suicidal demons...

This is an extremely strong 20-minute flick that may not 'sit well' with everyone, but for those who are into some very dark subject matter and macabre, bloody visuals - it's definitely a must-see depiction of pain.

Zodiac Rapist (1971)

"Zodiac Rapist" is nothing all that special, as far as XXX-'roughies' go. I guess I was hoping it would be a bit more filthy and rapey, but it's not really the case...

A pervy detective is on the trail of The Zodiac Rapist - an unmasked horndog, played by the great John Holmes who looks kinda like Ed Wood here, for some reason - running around and assaulting women.

The "plot" here is about as bare-bones as you can get, with about as much sex crammed into it's quick runtime as humanly possible. Even when the detective is speeding to a crime scene, he's getting some sloppy 'road head'. Nice. Props go out to the non-stop sex, but as far as the rape angle goes, it doesn't take these bitches long to readily accept Holmes' massive dong. So, it's all mostly played for laughs, which, I have to say I was a bit put off by as I prefer a bit more of a 'harsh' and sleazy edge to my 'roughies'. Overall, though, it's mildly amusing, but nothing too noteworthy from this golden era of porn.

Hardgore (1976)

Well, this was a complete mess of heavily unscripted and disjointed 'vintage' horror-porno sleaze. I can't say I enjoyed it, aside from just how poorly put together it is and maybe for a quick castration scene...

A young nympho is locked away in an institution to help her overcome her sexual urges - although it turns out that the asylum is run by sex-crazed whackos who host strange, demonic, sex-filled rituals.

There's boom-mics hovering over shots, some of the choppiest editing imaginable (sentences are actually cut off mid-way through...) and a deeply disappointing lack of gore, considering the title. The movie quickly replaces any plot it appears to be setting up with constant hardcore sex scenes and Satanic orgies - lead by a chanting goof in a plastic devil mask. These scenes are fairly decent, however, again, I would've appreciated a little more HARDGORE thrown into the mix. The guillotine doggy-style execution was cool, though. Also, this may have had one of the most abrupt endings I've ever seen. I can't recommend "Hardgore" unless you're a total '70s porn completist.

Children of Darkness (1983)

"Children of Darkness" is a really 'heavy' documentary about kids suffering from various degrees of mental illness, schizophrenia and behavioral problems. The focus shifts from different teenagers at different institutions around the country where we delve into their tumultuous lives and diverse treatment methods of the time. One of the more 'interesting' reformatories was for non-retarded young adults with hardcore emotional problems where the staff would attempt to rehabilitate them using a variety of bizarre punishments - including making them wear bunny pajamas and shackles if they try to run away or making them fight each other or live in dumpsters for acting out. The film also touches on a hospital in South Beach where the staff went under fire for causing the deaths of several young patients...

Seeing as how it's over 30 years old at this point, "Children of Darkness" is an interesting 'time capsule', of sorts, in how mental illness was handled then. It's a 'rough' one and contains some pretty sad exhibits of full-force schizophrenia and hopelessly defective youths.

The Joe Show (2015)

I'm fucking speechless. Chemical Burn Entertainment actually released a good film. Not even just 'good' by their standards, but a legitimately good film in general. Is the tide finally turning for this godawful, yet extremely prolific distributor?

A lonely, over-weight cab driver makes his voice heard on the stage of a poetry reading venue - detailing his angst and day-to-day struggles in life having to do, primarily, with his job and family history. These intense monologues are pieced in with scenes of his dismal, unlucky life involving him haggling with escorts, watching pro-wrestling with his disapproving father, trying to avoid a nosey neighbor and moonlighting as a nude model. What breaks up this slice-of-life symphony of social withdrawal - aside from his brooding poetry - is that Joe may be responsible for the disappearances of several young women around his city...

What really makes "The Joe Show" stand out is the lead actor's performance. Based on the credits, his poetry featured here is mostly autobiographical (aside from the serial killer angle, I'd say...), which makes for quite a powerfully candid and moving watch. His delivery and articulation is consistently engaging and calamitous, while just a shred of black humor emits through the dark portrayal of his life. I really like movies like this and "The Joe Show" went about it in a surprisingly original way. Again, the performance from Joe is terrific and his writings really paint a solid picture hatred, deep despair and loss. This is one that's absolutely worth checking out. Also check out CB's second best release, "Fell". It's kind of in the same vain, but not quite as good.

Caterpillar (2010)

One of Kōji Wakamatsu's last films - "Caterpillar" is a very strong post-war drama that bravely undermines the prevalent societal condition of blind 'hero worship', along with a cogent anti-war slant. Definitely a 'far cry' from his earlier pinku works, like "Violated Angels", but it's a heavily engrossing film, nonetheless.

A woman's husband comes back from the Second Sino-Japanese War missing his arms and legs, sporting severe facial burns and stricken with total catatonia. He is left for her to care for, solely, while the rest of the village showers him with praise - tagging him as a "war God". Behind closed doors, however, wifey begins losing her patience with the vegetated 'war hero' who only eats, sleeps and begs for sex (which she graciously satiates his need for...), which leads to her lashing out verbally and physically against him. As the film goes on and some background is given, her actions become arguably justified...

Obviously, "Caterpillar" is the opposite of many American-made war films that would never second-guess the virtue of servicemen or women or even shed light on the possibility of returning soldiers having committed violent war crimes. While the film isn't flat out anti-war propaganda, it's message is made clear - most notably at the tail end when some stats are given on the death toll of the WWII atomic blasts on Japan. It's a well-illustrated take on this antithetical prospect of benighted admiration toward someone who appears to be a decorated hero on the surface, but whose unknown sordid past and present burdensome existence only reduces him to a vulnerable pile of shame and regret. "Caterpillar" is definitely a must see, as far as I'm concerned. Great performances and a heavy, bleak and compelling story.