Slumber Party Massacre 3 (1990, Sally Mattison)

The second and last 'official' sequel to "The Slumber Party Massacre" series takes the sleepover slaughter back to it's basics after that oddball supernatural, rock n' roll-themed "part 2". They didn't really strike while the 80s slasher 'iron' was hot with this one, though, as it came out too little, too late (the non-horror friendly 90s).

It's the basic formula from before: group of teen girls are having a slumber party, guys crash the party and, eventually, a drill-wielding killer joins in the fun...

Part 3 is more of a 'whodunnit' formula up until a certain point, where they throw in a few over-the-top red herrings. When the killer is finally exposed, we get down to his back story which, I must say, is probably one of the best motives given for a slasher film antagonist. Seems as though his cop uncle - who used to molest him - killed himself and he's upset about it. So he's taking it out on slumber partying girls who like daring each other to do stripteases for their giggly amusement... Ahh, slumber parties...

The gore is a bit more tame this time around and there's no drill guitar, unfortunately. I'd say this is my least favorite of the "Slumber Party Massacre" series, of which I know a lot of people would disagree and adamantly consider 'part 2' to be the top stinking shit-heap of the already lackluster franchise. Personally, the original had the ultra-straight forward 80s charm and the second one is just so ridiculously campy and bizarrely shitty that it's a total fucking hoot! Part 3 is fine as an extremely by-the-books slasher entry, but it's post-80s odium is evident. It's shitty, but more of a boring kind of 90s shitty, whereas the others have more of a 'stand out' kind of shitty to them. It's not as laughably entertaining, in my opinion. Slasher die-hards might dig it, but, as it was meant to be, with the end of the 80s came the end of "The Slumber Party Massacre"... Lights out.

Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987, Deborah Brock)

By the second "Slumber Party Massacre" entry the MTV craze was in full swing so an ultra "hip" sequel was eventually slapped together under the watchful eye of B-movie no-talent extraordinaire, Roger Corman. To coincide with the peaking popularity of heavy metal, a few slasher films of the 80s gave way to horribly contrived music-horror 'fusions', such as "Trick or Treat", "Rock n' Roll Nightmare" and "Rocktober Blood". Of course, all of these come across as incredibly dated and uncompromisingly cringe-inducing at this point. And "Slumber Party Massacre 2" is no exception.

It's set up as a continuation of the first (though it doesn't TOTALLY pan out that way...) with the bratty little sister from before (different actress) whose big sis is locked away in a mental institution after doing away with the 'driller killer'. Now, she's having some nightmares about it, but still managing to jam with her all-girl garage band. The gals decide to hit the road and spend a weekend at one of their family townhouses to practice. And drink and have topless pillow fights! And some boys are coming over! No parents! Slumber party! Except the nightmare-prone buzzkill keeps getting in the way with her bloody hallucinations of a psycho rocker with Squiggy hair and an electric guitar/power drill combo weapon. Eventually, he enters the picture and the body count begins...

... And it takes a LONG time. The movie is so full of pointless, redundant lead-up that we're left with barely the final 10 minutes of actual 'driller killer' material. Not that I even care, cuz that shit was nothing so GREAT that I needed it to last from beginning-to-end. But still, slasher etiquette dictates that you toss in at least a FEW kill scenes along the way! This one just has 'em all getting bumped off in a matter of minutes once the "climax" hits. The rest is just your 'troubled girl whose happy-go-lucky friends are concerned about' bullshit.

I gotta say, though, the killing tool in this flick was pretty badass. Definitely the 'flashiest' murder implement I've seen in a slasher film. The killer, himself, was entertainingly over-the-top as well as being even more unexplored than the guy from the first movie. They DO hint at it all being just a dream - or a dream within a dream - at the very end so... fuck it. I'll just take it for what it is... A total "Nightmare on Elm Street" cash-in.

Much like "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2", this is one of the most laughably shitty slasher sequels out there. It's the perfect movie to watch with some friends and an ample supply of alcohol while you roust the ever-loving shit out of it.

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982, Amy Holden Jones)

I haven't seen "The Slumber Party Massacre" in years, so I figured I'd set aside an evening, pour some cheap booze down my face and revisit it for old time's sake. I didn't remember it being very 'stand out' as far as the 80's slasher craze goes, but upon my recent viewing, I rediscovered it as a relatively fun watch.

A killer has escaped from prison and is on the run around a Venice suburb and seems set on doing away with high school girls, in particular. Luckily, there's a group of 'em having a slumber party (with no parents and some Maui Wowie!), so he goes to work with a big-ass drill - thus, The Slumber Party Massacre...

The funny thing is - this flick was written by a feminist and directed by another woman. Kinda rare, as far as the 80s slasher genre is concerned, seeing as how a lot of women (primarily bra-burning bitch feminists) protested this type of shit back in the day. Thing is, I guess "The Slumber Party Massacre" was intended as some kind of parody slasher, but along the way some wires got crossed and the thing was made as a pretty straight-forward slasher joint with a few bits of 'light' humor tossed in to the mix. Clearly, this wasn't meant to be taken all-that seriously, but I'm willing to believe that there was an initial feminist angle that fell through the cracks, cuz this thing has a fair amount of T n' A and girls cowering in the face of imminent death at the hands of a wild-eyed male psychopath, which I can't see a militant feminist supporting. Nothing out of the ordinary and no female activism, as far as I saw.

As far as the film, itself, goes - it's pretty standard stuff. I guess it's kind of unusual (or you could chalk it up to laziness) that the killer doesn't wear a mask or have any kind of deformity. He's just a nut in denim running around with a drill. He speaks, responds to pain and has no back story or motive aside from breaking outta the joint. It's fine, though. He's not very creepy or mysterious. Just a crazy, murderous wack-job. There's actually a few decent kills, like a drill through the neck and a pretty vicious stabbing. Nothing that sets it apart too much, however...

Somehow, "The Slumber Party Massacre" is so GENERIC that it can't help being entertaining. I don't know why (might've been the booze), but I enjoyed it much more this time around than I did years ago. It delivers what you want in a slasher while never being boring or skimping on any of the 'necessities'.

Gerorisuto (1990, Shozin Fukui)

"Gerorisuto" is an early experimental short from Japanese cyber-punk director, Shozin Fukui (Rubber's Lover, 964 Pinocchio). As you can expect, it's chaotic and strange... And absolutely plotless.

A young woman runs around a subway car like a complete wackjob while a camera follows her. Eventually, her erratic senselessness spills into the streets as she starts screaming and grabbing at confused bystanders. There's also a random and LONG scene in which she violently vomits...

That's all there really is. Not a whole lot to say on this one, but it's not a total waste considering it's short and fairly amusing to watch this chick freak people out in public. Can't exactly recommend it, though.

Inbred (2011, Alex Chandon)

The latest feature from Alex Chandon is definitely his most 'slick' looking film to date and keeps the gory entertainment rolling along pretty well, but I still felt it left a bit much to be desired...

"Inbred" focuses on a group of delinquents who are on a trip with a couple of social workers to a small village in Northern England. Their goal seems to be aimed at salvaging valuables from the interior of broken down and abandoned train cars. While in town, the cliquish Yorkshire hillbillies start causing problems for the visitors, which - as you would figure - escalates into a bunch of crazy, violent shit that just so happens to involve some type of savage Vaudeville show from Hell.

I'd surly consider myself a fan of Chandon's early work, namely his ultra-indie splatter-punk shorts "Drillbit", "Bad Karma", and I dug his muddled 2001 film, "Cradle of Fear", despite it's shortcomings. "Inbred" is certainly his best feature, in terms of relatively slick production value and obvious attempts at steering the psychotic redneck genre mold in a slightly more original direction. I thought the humor elements (something I'm usually a bit dubious towards when it comes to horror films) worked for this one, as it's not too over-played at the wrong moments and actually adds a nice 'weirdness' factor. The gore is abundant and creative enough, so that's definitely a plus. What I found a tad disappointing was the affluence of digital gore FX. One thing that always stuck out about Chandon's old short films was his aptitude for practical gore/creature designs. This isn't enough to ruin the film, but it was a notable gripe I had. Still, like I said, the creativity is there - i.e. a scene in which septic shit-sludge is pumped down a guy's throat until he explodes shit all over a crowd of retarded spectators. That was when the movie officially became awesome!

While it didn't blow me away, Chandon's style and splattery 'action' is all there which makes "Inbred" an enjoyable flick. Kind of along the lines of a gory "Straw Dogs", I'd say. However, I'm still waiting for Chandon to come out with his definitive feature-length swan song. I can't say this was it...

Black Metal Veins (2012, Lucifer Valentine)

When his first film, "Slaughtered Vomit Dolls", came out I was admittedly impressed, somewhat, with Lucifer Valentine's 'experimental' and nightmarish style. Then came a few tiresome sequels that led to the "Vomit Gore Trilogy", as well as his cultivation of a ubiquitous cyber-fan base, consisting primarily of impressionable teenage goth girls. His repetitive and palaverous interest in indulging unenlightened online message-board kids with soulless 'shock value' quickly tainted my initial approach to his chaotic indie style. That said, I had heard a while back that he had a new, non-vomit gore project in the works about a clan of heroin addicted metal heads so I figured I'd give it a look...

For an undisclosed, but seemingly extensive, amount of time, Valentine hung out in an apartment full of junkies and documented their pathetic lifestyle. There's plenty of candid back story divulgement and drug life lowdown as the miserable group of degenerates inject, ingest and snort every substance they can possibly get their self-obsessed mitts on while whining about their anguished existences.

"Black Metal Veins" encompasses Valentine's familiar traits, such as distorted gutturals as background noise, jump-cuts and, of course, his fetish for rock bottom dope fiends. Aside from the latter, these elements of production are far less prevalent here, so the film plays out as more of a straight-forward documentary on addiction. This allows his signature characteristics such as those to add a touch of singularity to the harrowing material being presented. It's a pretty strong and effective doc that give you a truly lamentable first hand look at the result hopeless addiction and dissoluteness. It should also be noted that Valentine's need to exploit drug-addled losers for his reprobate 'freak show' effect isn't lost in his departure from "vomit gore". There are several "liberties" Mr. Valentine undoubtedly took whilst filming his crack head subjects, like staging the rape of a pregnant prostitute and even the death of one of his female "stars". I wouldn't doubt there being a few other specious elements within "Black Metal Veins", but I can't be 100% positive...

Also, if you're a black metal fan don't cream your leather studded shorts too quickly. Black metal plays a very insignificant part in this flick, aside from allowing these brain dead schmeckers something else to coldly babble about here n' there. There are also several instances (used as transitional cut-aways, mostly) where they are shown performing in a band, though it's never truly touched upon so I'm assuming it was just for show.

Overall, "Black Metal Veins" is easily Lucifer Valentine's most provocative film as far as I'm concerned, although it's not a total deviation from his puke flicks in terms of content, production and general tone. I actually saw a bit more 'merit' to this one and it bored me FAR less than his previous films. If you loved those then you'll certainly like this since it's got all of his familiar earmarks, minus the constant puking. So those of you who are SHOCKED by vomiting might be disappointed. Otherwise, I'd give it a moderate recommendation as a fairly interesting 'doc-sploitation'.

The Devil Inside Her (1977, Zebedy Colt)

Some fun, demonic porno-horror from XXX-sleaze maestro, Zebedy Colt. This is one of his better movies I have seen that dishes out a hefty dose of weirdness as well as the 'hardcore' material you would expect...

The toe-headed farmhand has a secret romance going on with the farmer's daughter that goes south when daddy finds them in the throes of passion (just making out) one day. The strapping young lad is sent on his way and the daughter is mercilessly whipped by the over-zealous, God-fearing father. After her punishment, she runs into the woods to look for him while it is revealed that her sister also has the hots for the hunky hillbilly. The sis gets the attention of the big-dicked devil (who is wearing Gene Simmons makeup) who sends her to some witch who concocts a potion made of weird shit, including bone fragments and a guy's cum. She drinks it, gets super horny and is boned by the shape-shifting devil. This happens for a while, she gets off with ears of corn and carrots and we conclude with a big trippy orgy, starring Annie Sprinkle.

Ya got plenty of goofiness, over-acting, 'hardcore' sex - including tons of giant bush and a little golden shower action - and just flat-out strangeness. I enjoyed "The Devil Inside Her" for the most part. It tends to drag a little here n' there, which is expected from this type of thing, but overall, it's one of Zebedy Colt's better 'roughie' flicks with a fairly interesting satanic horror 'edge'. Recommended for 70s porn lovers.

Chillerama (2011)

I knew absolutely nothing about "Chillerama" prior to watching it and what I got is one of the most irritating, overly long Troma knock-offs in existence. It was conceived by four mostly non-horror film-makers (I'm sorry, but if your only horror credit is directing "Wrong Turn 2" then I can't consider you an 'official' horror film-maker) who each made an intentionally 'campy' segment for this "throwback" anthology...

The first part, called "Wadzilla" and directed by Adam Rifkin (of "MouseHunt and "Detroit Rock City" fame...), is about a guy who takes some experimental medication to increase his sperm count, only it just takes the one cell he has and causes it to grow into a giant, man-eating monster...

Next one - "I Was a Teenage Werebear", from Tim Sullivan ("2001 Maniacs" 1 and 2) - involves a 50s-style teenager falling in with a gang of gay "werebears". It's pretty much a gay musical parody of "Grease".

The last official "film" has Hitler using the diary of Anne Frankenstein to create a monster Jew. This one was directed by Adam Green of the "Hatchet" series...

The movie itself closes out by concluding the wrap-around story which is centered around a bunch of people watching these 'old films' at a drive-in theater's last night in business. One of the employees - who was zombified after fucking a corpse in the opening scene - causes a big zombie outbreak throughout the theater. Only the zombies eat AND rape everything in sight...

Coming in at 2-hours, this flick's novelty wears off fucking fast! In fact, it took me two sittings to get through, seeing as how my threshold for forced absurdity, dick jokes and all-around stupidity had reached it's ultimate limit after just that first 'giant sperm' segment. Having everything done deliberately shitty (over-acting, terrible green-screen FX, etc.) gets old pretty fast at this magnitude, considering that these four guys clearly didn't know when to end each of their overly long, tedious, one-joke premise short 'films'. It just gets painfully boring and just flat-out annoying really early on. I guess I've just seen enough shit like this with many of Troma's releases and such. As far as I'm concerned, this shouldn't have even been released. It's the perfect example of some buddies having a lot of fun goofing around, while the finished product should have just been left as an inside joke...

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014, Matt Reeves)

I'd safely say it's been well over a year since I've visited a movie theater and recently I got an invite and took it because, despite my lack of interest in any big releases coming out these days, I still tend to enjoy the theatrical experience. So I checked out "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" (in 2D cuz I was too hung over for the glasses) which, in all honesty, I had very little interest in, but having somewhat enjoyed the previous entry in the recently revived ape saga, I went at it with a relatively open mind and actually dug it, overall.

My recollection of "Rise" is pretty hazy, but since then the ape civilization is residing in the woods while what's left of the humans is left - scarce of resources - in the remnants of San Francisco for a decade. Since their fuel is running dry, they sent some people out into ape territory to make some fixes to a dam and generate some power for lighting and heat. Without getting too in depth, there's some much expected friction and trust issues between humans and genetically altered, super-smart apes which leads to ape-on-ape, as well as human-on-human and some ape-on-human backstabbing and, eventually, an all-out war...

There's a whole lot going on in this flick, story wise, but that's basically all ya need to know on it. Because of this, the runtime of over 2 hours moves incredibly quick. The CG primates look fucking terrific. As much shit as I talk about the over-use of CGI, I WILL say that they have just about perfected monkeys when it comes to this technology. It's pretty impressive. I could never get past those rubber Halloween masks from the 60s, so I'd call this a tremendous enhancement. And unlike "Rise", this one provides the 'goods' in terms of ape violence. There's very little cutsie bullshit human/ape bonding or whimsy - but a much more dark, apocalyptic tone and vicious ape carnage. Nothing real bloody or anything - cuz we're talking PG-13, obviously - but I'm not about to complain about hordes of angry monkeys on horseback, firing machine guns.

Typically, big action flicks really aren't my 'thing', but I'll hand it to "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" for keeping it serious, dark and fast-paced. Notable CG effects for the most part and no 'comic relief' bullshit. For a much more "mainstream" film, I gotta say it's an entertaining flick.

The Complicated Raping Case (1993, Dai Yue Lok)

This may rank among one of the dullest CATIII movies I have ever had the displeasure of watching. Now, to be honest, I got pretty liberal with the fast-forward button around the halfway mark so I'll have to just base my opinions on only what I managed to endure from this mind numbing waste of time...

A billionaire and his mistress are attacked and go missing after a mysterious assailant barges in on their video-taped sex session. After that, the man's trophy wife starts talking to the cops about where he could be, all while a steamy romance takes shape between her and one of the detectives.

Maybe I got a cut version, but I didn't see any rape in this movie, ironically titled "The Complicated Raping Case". There is barely any IMPLIED rape. What you get is a bunch of passionate, soft-core sex scenes with slow saxophone jazz accompaniment. This movie is more of a 'seductive mystery-thriller' than anything downright sleazy which would be all fine and dandy (although I prefer my CATIII rape flicks pack in a fair amount of sleaze), except that this thing is just so fucking boring and uneventful that I couldn't even get through it. Even the copious amount of nudity couldn't save it, as far as I was concerned. Complicated AND dull! Skip it.

Doll Boy (2010, Billy 'Bloody Bill' Pon)

"Doll Boy" is a very straight-forward 30-minute slasher flick - essentially, just giving you the basic meat-and-potatoes of this type of comparatively 'ordinary' genre film. In that regard, I'd say it works, although it's far from great...

A fat man dressed as a clown drops a van-load of kidnapped people off at an abandoned warehouse where they are chased down and systematically killed by another fatso in a big, evil doll mask.

Very little is given, in terms of set-up, and absolutely no back-story or explanation is provided for the sledgehammer toting, doll-faced killer. It's just your general slasher fundamentals (minus the nudity, unfortunately) with some decent atmosphere and a few blunt indications of baby killing, which was cool. Overall, it's nothing special, but an alright way to waste a half-hour.

Also, there's a few Grindhouse-style trailers before the movie - one of which is titled "Mister Fister" - about a killer who fists people to death and, sure 'nuff, it's slated for a release! Hell, during "Doll Boy" all I could think about was how awesome "Mister Fister" looked. Ya can count me in on that one! Mister Fister rules!

Ebola Syndrome (1996, Herman Yau)

It doesn't get much better than "Ebola Syndrome" when it comes to the fucked up salaciousness of CATIII cinema. I'd say it's definitely on an even keel with "The Untold Story" in terms of the crazy storyline, depravity and Anthony Wong completely delivering!

Wong plays a degenerate who is caught fucking his boss's old lady. After a firm beatdown, he manages to avoid a forthcoming castration by turning the tables on them and killing everyone in the room except the young daughter who soon shows up. As he's dumping gasoline on the little girl, he's interrupted and flees. Cut to years later, he now resides as a wanted man in South Africa, performing low-paying grunt work for a Chinese restaurant. When their local meat vendor jacks up his prices, he and the boss head out to visit a tribe in order to purchase some cheaper pigs. While there, they come across some ritual being implemented on some severely ill looking tribe members. On their drive back, they experience car trouble and while Wong goes for a stroll, he spots a sickly woman, whom he decides to provide a quick diddling, only to have her clamp down on his cock and spit some kind of mucusy vomit in his face. When they arrive back at the restaurant he falls ill, as well, but springs to life, suddenly spry as a spring chicken and begins acting as the oblivious carrier for a widespread Ebola outbreak...

Plenty of nasty, mean-spirited gore and sleaze on tap with this one! As usual, Wong steals the show - once again showing his extraordinary prowess in playing loathsome dirtbags while actually managing to be pretty damn funny at the same time. His performance here is spectacularly lewd as he rapes, kills and grinds people into hamburger meat. At one point, he pays unknowing Hong Kong hookers wads of cash to pump his Ebola-infected seed into them. By the end, he's running through the streets, spitting blood in the faces of innocent people! What's not to love about "Ebola Syndrome"? It's simply QUALITY classic CATIII goodness with never a dull moment to be had. It's right up there with "The Untold Story" and "Red to Kill" as a highly entertaining, unapologetic HK delight!

Terrorists, Killers and Middle East Wackos (2005, Ryen McPherson)

"Terrorists, Killers and Middle East Wackos" is your typical 'shock-doc' with all the typical shit you've seen a million fucking times. It was done by the guy who did the controversial "Bumfights" videos back when, but unlike those "movies", there is no original footage to be found in this one. He just jacked a bunch of 'graphic' videos off the internet and assembled it into a 54-minute 'shockumentary'.

As the title suggests, its got plenty of terrorist and Middle East execution footage, air show disasters, bull gorings, kangaroos being clubbed to death, the Budd Dwyer suicide (a redundant staple of ANY 'true death' mix tape) and some other random shit, involving extreme elephantaisis of the nutsack and bug eating. And he included some incredibly irritating emo band over it all...

Like I've said in other reviews for this type of shit - I just don't really care at this point. They rarely show me anything I haven't seen around the web a thousand times, which just goes to show that there's nothing to making one of these nowadays. Just lift it off of Bestgore or LiveLeak and string it together randomly. Something like this is fine to just have on in the background if you're doing somethinge else and don't feel like focusing on an actual movie.

The Child Molester (1964, Herbert J. Leder)

Pretty fucked up old scare-film put out by the Highway Safety Foundation to get young children aware of the dangers of pedos. We get a dramatized example of two girls - ages 8 and 9 - who are lured off the playground by an arcane stranger, offering handfuls of irresistible jelly beans. He drives the terrified girls out into the woods where one runs off and a chase ensues...

This bit of intense horror is intercut with an informational voiceover teaching boys and girls how to avoid getting snatched up, raped and murdered by unassuming child predators, using a variety of exemplar situations - one involving a small boy getting felt up in a movie theater. Between these lessons, we cut back to the girls running for their lives as well as their helpless parents talking with the cops. The end shows actual police crime scene film of two murdered girls who had been dumped in muddy pond by a molester.

"The Child Molester" is pretty heavy shit for it's time and isn't nearly as ass-backwards in it's cautionary logic as many other films of it's kind about homosexuals, marijuana, etc. I could really see this one freaking out some 60s adolescents.

Redlands (2014, John Brian King)

I actually really dug "Redlands". It's a real 'slow burn' type of slice-of-life narrative with a sufficient blend of pitch black comedy.

A young, hot secretary is trying to make a little extra cash on the side for her obnoxious douchebag, hipster musician boyfriend by posing nude for an amateur photographer. His sets and equipment consist primarily of a lawn chair, a cot in his basement and a digital camera, which he attempts to upgrade after their first session. As their relationship becomes more "intimate", things take a rather dark turn for the ill-starred model...

While the film centers around this basic concept - we get a pretty comprehensive glimpse into each of their lives through very slow, progressive scenes detailing each person's rather mundane and hapless situation through very long, uninterrupted shots. The model's unwavering daddy issues, the boyfriend's unfaithfulness and the photographer's shattered marriage. All of the performances are incredibly strong and affective and the incorporation of dark humor was not overdone at all and adds quite a unique dynamic to the film that helped along the hypnotically slow character development at times. Also, the abundance of nudity doled out by the lead actress was absolutely wonderful. Made my heart happy.

If you're not into moody, 'slow burn' types of films, then "Redlands" isn't for you. However, if you share my tastes for that type of cinema, then it comes highly recommended.
http://www.redlandsthemovie.com/