Sunday, July 31, 2011

Case 39 (2009, Christian Alvert)

In all honesty, I expected to hate this movie and while I didn't necessarily find it to be "good", I took away from it a surprising amount of (possibly) unintentional hilarity that made for some pretty entertaining viewing. "Case 39" reeks of shittiness - from the trailers and TV spots that promoted nothing but Hollywood clichés and Renee Zellweger's puckered, squinty face screaming with all the intensity that freakish face could muster, but what it all boiled down too after breathing a sigh of reluctance and actually beginning the film... I just laughed my ass off!

If you've seen "Orphan" and, maybe "The Last Exorcism", this flick is a combination of both elements involving psychotic kids and demonic kids. More of that. Renee Puckersquint plays a social worker who interviews a seemingly dysfunctional family whom she assumes is harboring a neglected child. She gets a call one night from the ten year old girl who says she's is in trouble and Renee runs to the rescue to find the parents stuffing the screaming kid into an oven. Incident clumsily averted and the parents are arrested while the little girl goes to live with Renee Lemonface-Chipmunkcheeks. Kid seems fine at first, but as it turns out, she's a 'lil demon (maybe the Devil) and kills a few of Renee's friends before threatening her own life...

The highlight of the film is definitely the bee scene, in which a yuppie douche-bag (with an admitted fear of bees) starts pulling bees out of his ears and soon his eyes until he eventually goes berserk and kills himself. There's also a dude who is attacked by a guard dog in his car, but instead of shooting the dog, he shoots HIMSELF in the head! Hardly a scene goes by without something downright hysterical taking place, for example - a fat Japanese guy with a little girl voice, the demon girl swan diving out a window and then go running in that choppy, fast-motion style that Hollywood seems to find so "scary", and, of course, when she does the equally typical crawl from "The Grudge"! "Case 39" is so fucking ridiculously dumb that it could no doubt be passed off as comic gold! Check it out!

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