Attack Girls Swim Team vs. The Undead (2007, Kôji Kawano)

I'm still in awe of how this movie could've possibly have sucked as much as it did. From the title I was convinced "Attack Girls Swim Team vs. The Undead" was going to be a hoot. No. Not even close.

An all girls high-school is getting vaccinated for a contagious virus though the shots seem to be turning the students and staff into stylized fighting zombies...

Japanese splatter films can be marvelous (pardon the "uncool" adjective) as long as they supply the fuckin' SPLATTER. This film comes with a warning of "graphic violence" before hand which is completely false. I'm pretty much inclined to avoid most current Jap-gore films unless Yoshihiro Nishimura is behind it in some capacity, because "Attack Girls Swim Team" had some of the most mild and pathetically minimalistic gore I can recall seeing in a Japanese zombie film. They tried to pad it out with some prolonged lesbo action, which, admittedly, kept me semi-entertained in between the shoddy action sequences. Unfortunately, all of the zombies scenes are ineffective and the incessant backstory was much to forced and just got in the way. Plus, I was annoyed the zombie-juggler... Stupid!

Again, I am perplexed at how a film about school girl swimmers fighting zombies managed to be a bore, but anything is possible when it comes to Asian horror films, I guess. For some primo Jap-spatter check out "Machine Girl", "Gothic & Lolita Psycho", "Splatter: Naked Blood", and of course the godly "Tokyo Gore Police"...