Sunday, May 27, 2018

Microwave Massacre (1983)

As hard as it is to avoid a movie with a title like "Microwave Massacre", I usually make a conscious effort in forcing my expectations to remain considerably low, seeing as how there's a good chance of the film sucking total shit. And this did. It's bad. Though, honestly, I'd have to place this in the 'so bad it's mildly, MILDLY amusing' category.

Jackie Vernon (the voice of Frosty the Snowman) plays a construction worker who is fed up with his bitchy old lady, who is obsessed with household cleanliness as well as preparing gourmet dinners (via, their giant, old-fashioned microwave...) which he despises. So one day he comes home extremely drunk and pissed off and bludgeons her to death with a pepper grinder. Upon sobering up and discovering what he had done, he dismembers the old hag and stores her body parts in the fridge. After accidentally eating a piece of her, he finds that human flesh is delicious so he starts preparing delectable morsels out of hot women he lures home to fuck, which he shares with his co-workers...

This one's completely played for laughs, as our main character is constantly breaking the 'fourth wall' and spitting corny, Rodney Dangerfield-esque quips. One such gag featured in this flick involves slathering a dead, nude woman with mayonnaise and making a sandwich out of her - complete with giant bread slices... Yeah, the 'satire' here isn't all that razor sharp or anything, but you got a good amount of bare breasts and cheesy looking rubber limbs (that severed head looked hilariously godawful!). Enough to make this a mildly amusing throw-away watch if you're in the mood for something tolerably shitty (though just barely).

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