Once Upon a Time at Christmas (2017)

Some bottom-of-the-barrel, barely watchable Christmas slasher shit, right here. I have alcohol to thank for helping me ride it out to the mind-numbing, unrewarding end of this inane hunk of steaming reindeer abortion baring the idiotic title, "Once Upon a Time at Christmas".

A man and woman are posing as Santa and Mrs. Claus and running around a small town, killing its residents. All the while, the sheriff and his deputy are gathering up clues that deliberately coincide with the 12 Days of Christmas song...

Way too much time is spent on the cops trying to crack the case which pisses me off to no end because it's obvious they didn't have the financial means/know-how to pull off any decent kills so all of that is relegated to either off-screen or quick, cheap CGI blood spatter death scenes. The only potential this movie COULD have had was with the killers, however we don't see nearly enough of them to be anywhere close to entertained by how crazy they were. Instead, it's all bland teen girl shit and cops trying to figure out how the obvious clues so OBVIOUSLY tie into the stupid fucking song. This movie blows elf dick!