Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Barricade (2007)

I wouldn't list "Barricade" as one of the highest on the German-splatter shit-o-meter, seeing as how there are some real miserable excuses for this kind of thing out there. That said, this one is still largely lacking in a number of areas - not unlike the majority of this particular sub-genre...

An effeminate, muscular dullard, his visiting New Yorker girlfriend and equally annoying buddy are camping out in the woods of Germany where a family of crazed, deformed cannibals are butchering hikers.

As you would expect, the acting is terrible which doesn't help to 'pump up' the seemingly endless, shittily written dialog. There is WAY too much of these characters and their unimpassioned "casual" banter that, in turn, makes the intermittent cut-aways to mindless dismemberment feel like a vacation. The gore scenes are occasionally decent, but nothing too exceptional (or even plentiful...), save for maybe the wire cutter nip-snip and titty fisting scene. That worked, I guess. Yet, in the film's 'climax' everything falls apart, resulting in a total mess of incomprehensibly shot, unthought out bullshit. Some would-be 'hero' is clumsily introduced who claims to have been tracking the killer inbred family for almost a year after his family was killed by them, but he's killed off immediately, as are the majority of the psycho cannibals. It was like they ran out of money and ideas so they decided to just shoot the remainder of the cast in the head in the span of 5-seconds just to end the movie as fast as possible. Whatever. There you pretty much have another cheap, plotless waste of time brought to you by ambivalent German gore schlocksters. Don't bother.

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