Sorority Babes in the Dance-a-thon of Death (1991, Todd Sheets)

Much like John McBride, Nathan Schiff and the Polonia brothers, Todd Sheets was (and still is) a micro-budget horror film-maker whose career was based on pumping out quick SOV crap to fill up the video store horror shelves. And thanks to the almost always eye-catching cover art, we rented this shit. You had to. At some point, this type of thing can be entertaining - depending on how liquored up you are and how good a mood you're in, overall - but many times it's just angeringly terrible. "Sorority Babes in the Dance-a-thon of Death" is fucking terrible, not unlike most of Sheets' prolific body of work...

Plot: A girl purchases a crystal ball at an antique shop so she can have a seance with her girlfriends at their sleepover later that night. While they're hanging out, being boring, some boys show up. No hanky-panky, though. They just play Twister (fully clothed) before being forced to spend the night in a deserted college building for some kind of sorority stunt. Seems that the crystal ball contained some ancient demon who is possessing the girls and turning them into psychotic killers.

First off, every word in the title is misleading as all fuck. There is NO dance-a-thon at all and none of these broads is a "babe". Hell, one of 'em has braces! Due to this, I wasn't too upset with the complete lack of nudity... As you can assume, the acting is atrocious and the gore is nonexistent, which makes it a totally effortless piece of shit. So much of the movie is just these idiots walking around and, in certain parts, it tries to be self-aware and witty by having one of them say, "this is just what happens in low-budget horror movies, not real life" while looking at the camera. This is done a few times near the end and it made me uncomfortable. This is the perfect example of a total gimmick film - irresistible title and cover art. Then once you got home, popped it in your toploader and caught the first three minutes, you knew immediately you had been cheated by Ma and Pa. And Todd fuckin' Sheets. The good ol' days...