Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Don't Want to Be Born (1975, Peter Sasdy)

The Brits really made a shitty "Exorcist" / "Rosemary's Baby" rip-off here. The 70s were all about demonic possession-themed horror cash-ins and I'd probably call "I Don't Want to Be Born" one of the worst. It's just an hour and half of pure, unadulterated nothingness. Plain and simple...

A former exotic dancer's newborn doesn't waste any time proving that it's possessed. Turns out, Momma made the mistake of turning down a grabby tap-dancing dwarf she used to share the spotlight with and the inimical little goon puts a hex on her future child, making it strong and evil. The malevolent little dickens lashes out at every one of it's caregivers by scratching them, slapping them and, on more than one occasion, murdering them.

I guess, no matter how possessed an infant actually is, I still have a hard time buying the fact that it can push a nanny into the drink - killing her instantly or decapitate Donald Pleasence with a shovel. Unless we're talking a serious fucking BEAST of a baby like in "It's Alive". Here though, Junior doesn't look like anything other than precious little angel, which was a little disappointing. Also, speaking of disappointing - the lovely Caroline Munro plays a stripper who has NO stripper scenes! What the hell?!

"I Don't Want to Be Born" - also alternately titled "The Devil Within Her" (which, it's BARELY in her at all... Hell, the little shit's born in the first minute and a half) as well as "Sharon's Baby" (her name was Lucy, but whatever...) and "Monster" which is a befittingly boring title - is just a DULL flick. The script is listless and dry and the direction has NO style whatsoever. For a better "Exorcist"/demon-baby-hell spawn film, check out "Beyond the Door".

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