Jungle (2017)

"Jungle" is a bit of a departure from what I've seen from prior Greg McLean works - like the "Wolf Creek" movies and "The Belko Experiment" - in that it goes for more of a harrowing survival story than the carnage-laden stuff I've enjoyed from him in the past. And, low-and-behold, I dug the hell out of it.

Three backpacking buddies are offered by a experienced traveler the opportunity to hike into the Bolivian jungle to search for a missing tribe. Sold on what could only be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, as well as earn those National Geographic photography bucks, the four trek out into the dense jungle, but one of the men soon proves to be the weak link of their expedition when he gets a nasty case of trench foot and doesn't appear able to continue on. They make an attempt to raft down the raging river, but debate over navigating the harsh rapids leads to the men splitting up into two groups - one pair of them taking the river route and the other two proceeding on foot. For the rafters, shit doesn't go too well and they are separated - leaving one guy hopelessly lost in the jungle and forced to survive.

Among the things that this movie does well is making the South American jungle seem like a total bitch to be lost in. The poor bastard here is forced to extract parasites from under his skin, wanders upon quicksand, battles psychosis and more; and it happens to be based on a true story of a traveler who suffered this deadly ordeal (including stuff they had to omit from this film for time...) back in the early '80s. There's text at the end provides a few details involving some of the other guys in their party that was pretty interesting and could almost warrant a movie in itself, I thought. Also, Daniel Radcliffe - a former child star who shit bags like other former child star, Shia Lebeouf, should definitely take notes from as how to keep your career going and NOT become a retarded waste of life - pulls off his pretty physically demanding role incredibly well - even going so far as to do some of that 'method acting' shit in dropping a ton of weight to look emaciated. Could have done without some of the unnecessary flashbacks/cut-aways, but in all, "Jungle" is a very solid and enjoyable movie, just don't go into it expecting tons of violence and bloodshed.

Hotel Inferno (2013)

"Hotel Inferno" is another odd, gory and relatively entertaining film put out by Necrostorm. It's shot completely as a first-person action/splatter scenario, which, I guess, makes it the first of it's kind for this very particular film 'niche'.

A seasoned hit man is hired to kill a murderous couple in their hotel room by a mysterious client who has supplied him with computerized sunglasses that act as a camera. When the hit doesn't go totally as planned and the hired assassin figures something is 'off' when his targets start acting zombie-ish, he ditches the glasses and fights to escape the hotel that is loaded with Satanic, plague-infected goons. Even when the glasses are off, we still see all the action exclusively through the main character's eyes.

The first-person 'device' this movie uses is obviously far from new, as we've seen it in the shitty "Maniac" remake, "Hardcore Henry" and a good portion of "Enter the Void" - though they manage to do a decent enough job of making it work for the most part. I wasn't annoyed the entire time. The gore helped quite a bit and there were a few good practical effects here and there. In all though, I wasn't all that crazy about "Hotel Inferno". A few parts toward the end got a bit boring and dragged on too long (fucking candle lighting and long-winded exposition, my fucking gawd!) and I wasn't totally sold on the POV-video game type gimmick, but as far as European produced splatter flicks go there are a LOT worse. Moderately entertaining, overall.

Red Christmas (2017)

Figuring it wouldn't hurt to get a jump on my holiday horror viewing, I went ahead and checked out the new Xmas slasher, "Red Christmas". I didn't really know what to expect from this one (aside from its yuletide theme) and what it turned out to be was pretty much Ryan Nicholson's "Hanger" meets Bob Clark's "Black Christmas".

The movie kicks off with the bombing of an abortion clinic during a pro-life rally where a living fetus is discovered in a refuse bucket and carried off by one of the extremists. Cut to twenty years later where Dee Wallace is a widow hosting a Christmas get-together with her dysfunctional, intercontinental shit-bag kin out in the her home in the Australian countryside. While the holiday festivities aren't totally going off without a hitch to begin with, things get even more irregular when a cloaked, gauzed and mentally retarded stranger comes knocking. Upon reading a letter to his "mother", it becomes clear that he was the baby that was rescued from the clinic two decades prior and Dee Wallace happened to be the recipient of the womb-scooping. After being booted from their home, the distraught reject proceeds to kill off the family members one by one...

This one wasn't bad, but could definitely have been better. The concept is cool and Dee Wallace certainly steals the show, for sure. She's like a bad ass, foul-mouthed, take-no-shit June Cleaver in this! There are a few decent kills (the stand-out death involving a blender), though certain ones didn't seem to match the more serious tone much of the film, overall, as they were too over-the-top and akin to one of Adam Green's "Hatchet" movies, say. Another miss for me was in that they should've gone for a more Christmasy 'vibe'. This surely isn't a movie that you'll want to watch to get into that wintry, seasonal feel around December. Still, "Red Christmas" is a watchable slasher flick that I don't see myself revisiting any time in the foreseeable future.

The Millennium Bug (2011)

"The Millennium Bug" is a moderately entertaining B-flick that oddly goes about combining two types of horror in one, which, to its credit, definitely sets it apart.

On December 31, 1999 a father, his daughter and new wife are celebrating New Years up in the mountains just in case the 'Y2Kaos' hysteria is legit and apocalyptic shit goes down. Their camping trip is interrupted by a family of hillbillies who are after new women to wed/impregnate after we see their sister giving birth to a deformed, inbred baby (which is promptly killed...). While this is going on, a loony scientist has hiked out into the same woods to document the arising of an ancient creature that only shows up for one night every one thousand years. So big bugs and deranged rednecks collide in a considerably odd climactic "showdown", of sorts.

The bug creature is comprised of decent enough looking practical effects - blending, what appear to be, a fly, a slug and a stegosaurus with retracting facial tentacles and random, spiked appendages. We don't see all that much of it until the last half hour or so, however. Up to then, the movie plays out as pretty standard 'killer redneck family' horror piece, which supplies some amusement and some good gory moments - also practical (hell, the production company behind this movie is called No CGI Films, so they keep it legit, despite an obviously meager budget...). After a while, though, I felt it getting a little redundant and was more than ready for some bug action. Overall, "The Millennium Bug" is nothing close to spectacular, but it's not a total piece of shit either. I'll commend it on its cheezy, yet passable, effects work and the outright ridiculousness of the premise. I've seen way worse.

Hell's Highway (2002)

Whenever I see that Brain Damage logo pop up at the start of a movie I always instinctively recoil in disgust and apprehension. I still went ahead and carried on into "Hell's Highway" on a whim and, amazingly, it wasn't nearly as terrible as I initially expected. Perhaps my low expectations came into play to boost the enjoyment factor for me, but who knows?

A carload of pot tokin' and beer drinkin' kids are road tripping cross country to L.A. and make the wise decision to pick up a female hitch-hiker in the desert. She ends up pulling a gun on them and spewing threats and other crazy shit before they manage to eject her from the vehicle in a scene very reminiscent of - or just blatantly ripped off from - "The Hitcher". As they continue on, they keep running into her and, at one point, they do LITERALLY with their car, leading them to believe that she is a supernatural being when she appears later on with her same deadly intentions...

First, the gore is beyond cheap looking, but there's enough of it to keep things interesting and they DID provide one "actress" (using the word loosely) who was game to show her tits in a few scenes. One thing I gotta give "Hell's Highway" props for is throwing in an ending that I definitely did NOT see coming. Not that I'd say it's a GREAT or overtly clever ending, but it's certainly out of left field. In all, this one isn't all that bad of a ultra-low budget horror flick. Ah, and Ron Jeremy gets his dick mutilated is a pointless, yet cool scene.

1922 (2017)

Time to boot up the ol' Netflix again for the latest Stephen King adaptation which, I do say, have all been pretty damn good as of late - what with the theatrical first chapter of "It" and "Gerald's Game". The trend continues with "1922" - based on a short story out of King's 2010 collection, "Full Dark, No Stars" which puts us at a current three-for-three score on King flicks. I think it definitely pays to keep Mick Garris away from the director's chair on these adaptations.

Set in the year the title indicates, a farmer is butting heads with his wife over their acreage and whether or not to sell it and move to the city. She's adamant in doing so and he's more than reluctant to give up his farm. As their arguing heats up further, the farmer goads his son into aiding him in what he claims is the only conceivable measure to take - killing the nagging bitch. So they do and dump her down a dried up well next to the house. What follows is a downward spiral for the father and son, comprised of ghostly visions and unforeseen problems that look to damage their initial intentions...

The story here is presented in a very bleak and grim tone, thanks mostly, to the rural, period-piece backdrop to which it's set. Each performance is choice and, for the most part, the pacing is solid, despite the slow-burn approach. There's also some fun shit involving rats and a reasonably effective murder scene. Give "1922" a look.