First, the "plot": A female E.T. lands on Earth with hopes of learning our customs. She happens to go looking around a Victorian-style mansion where the residents do nothing but bang each other. After peeping in a few doorways, E.T. decides that she wants to get involved... And these people are more than accommodating...
First off, E.T. looks like a mound of sun-baked dog shit that was crudely sculpted into a human-esque shape and fitted around an anorexic porn actress. The costume looks like it was constructed out of garbage bags that had once been filled with excrement then, at the last minute, they ripped a hole around her vagina and nipples so these limp-dicked German guys in top hats could fuck this friendly alien. Speaking of E.T. getting fucked - the visual alone is as unappealing as watching your grandmother gape her pussy and talk about the "good ol' days" - but the sounds it makes are beyond disturbing. It moans like an old, wounded cat being fucked to death. The other sex scenes - the ones NOT involving E.T. - are easier to stomach, but still not all that 'erotic'. They refuse to shed their wardrobe so you've got a lot of awkward, fluffy, Victorian era dresses getting hiked up and creepy, German groaning.
That's basically all I got on "E.T. - The Porno". It's terrible and there is NO reason for it's existence, though if curiosity gets the better of you, like it did with me, than by all means; hunt it down.
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