Like all of these horror remakes, I really didn't give a shit about seeing "Evil Dead" '13, though I'm still adamant about keeping an open mind at this point since there is no fighting the eminence of this type of bullshit. I'm pretty much numb to it at this point like everyone else should be and I'll usually end up checking out the remake eventually, but I'm typically not running to a theater on opening day. As far as this one went - I heard of the extensive gore content (BETTER fucking be! It's Evil Dead!) that tempted the dreaded NC-17 prior to it's release (probably a bullshit marketing gimmick to rope in gore hounds...). Was also hearing early on that the movie consisted of all practical effects. No CGI. After watching film, I see that I was misled on that. So I picked up a copy to give it a shot...
Well, unlike the original, it ain't party time at this rustic little cabin in the woods. They're actually detoxing the one dude's sister who's gotten a bit outta control on the dope. One of them - who kinda looked like Kurt Cobain with out-of-date glasses - comes across a book... THE book and goes about yapping the spell that unleashes the malevolent entities in the forest. As expected, all hell breaks loose...
To be honest, I was pretty much all in with this once I shook off the disappointment of the CGI fire within the first 5 minutes. Apparently, only MOST of the effects were practical. Oh well... My bad, I guess.The gory action gets going and stays pretty constant, although not really reaching that no-holds-barred craziness of the original. Still, there's some decent bodily mutilation going on here with syringes, retractable blades, nail guns, chainsaws, etc. They didn't really play with those tense 'lows' that Raimi's did with shit like the giggling girlfriend and the crap in the basement coming alive, which really added to the suspense and astringent, insanity-inducing seclusion. My major gripe, however, was the formulaic, lone female survivor ending, that modern horror is obsessed with resorting to, whether it makes sense or not. With this, they clearly made a last ditch ruling and frantically kill off this version's Ash (though, I'll say, he wasn't nearly as effective) and resurrect the junkie who carries out a wildly implausible ending (yeah, I'm referring to the super human-like removal of an appendage, specifically). I know that modern mainstream horror film makers are compelled to promote feminism at any cost, but can't just ONE sneak by just for the sake of contrast? Eh...
"Evil Dead" '13 is a fine gore flick. Not one of those frustratingly shitty remakes, but still won't 'blow your mind'.
Been revisiting some straight-to-DVD, video store shelf-fillers from the early-to-mid 2000's lately for some reason. There was quite a few I recall being pretty decent, but, from the looks of it... those days long gone... Anyways, "Lucky" was another random rental I picked up from some big chain about 10 years ago after having picked over the horror archives and because I didn't give two fucks about shit like "The Notebook", which I'm sure they had 800 copies of.
A lonely, balding, alcoholic cartoon writer hits a little Chihuahua-ish breed of dog on his way back from a beer run one night. He takes the little guy home and attempts to nurse him back to health while continuing to struggle through writer's block as he contemplates his entire existence through bleak, yet humorous voice-over narration. When it appears that the dog - ironically named Lucky - has died, the guy digs him a little backyard grave, but to his surprise, Lucky springs to life and begins communicating telepathically with the miserable writer and starts helping him get his failing writing career back on track with a new cartoon script. Things start looking up for him when he meets the woman of his dreams (or perverse fantasies) and starts selling quality scripts around town. Unfortunately for him, Lucky's work ethic gets in the way of his master's personal life and bodies start piling up...
"Lucky" isn't anything phenomenal, but it's definitely a fun way to kill and hour and half. There's some pretty funny bits of jet black humor and goofy dialog. Plus, toward the third act it get's into the topic of necrophilia and S&M pretty heavy which was kinda awesome. And it's always nice to find a micro-budget horror film that manages to compensate for it's lack of high-end production value with a skillful proficiency such as this. "Lucky" never really feels as cheap as I'm sure it was due to some fairly competent film making. Check it out.
There was definitely some straight-to-video gems scattered throughout your local video stores back in the early-to-mid 2000s. I just remember actually looking forward to taking a chance when I wandered into one of those joints and perused the unfamiliar horror titles you'd find buried amidst 400 copies of "Lord of the Rings" or whatever. "Dead End" was one I rented about 10 years ago and had enjoyed immensely, though I guess I'd forgotten about it until recently when I actually went about finally picking up a copy. This is strange, cool and often humorous flick.
A family (parents, smartassy teenage son, older daughter and her boyfriend) are on a backwoods road trip to a relative's house for Christmas. Their squabbling suffused night time car ride is eventually interrupted by a hot blond woman in a white gown, holding a baby, who appears to be injured and in need of help. While the family splits up at a secluded stop, the daughter's boyfriend disappears (along with the Lady in White) momentarily, before being spotted in the back of a vintage black hearse and THEN turning up mutilated in the road. From there, their endless trip through the forest continues to escalate into a bizarre nightmare that seems to result in a mysterious fatality whenever they happen to get out of the car...
All the performances are strong, the tension is pretty high and there's a nice bit of humor tossed in that doesn't take away from the story which I was grateful for. Definitely a strange and nightmarish concept involving a never ending stretch of road, laced with dangerous anomalies and with a decent 'twist' ending that's a little predictable but still works very well, I thought. Not very liberal in the gore department, as most of the kills and aftermath are pretty much implied, but that's also forgivable considering the film's refreshing originality. "Dead End" is what I would surely consider a 'hidden gem' among the genre.
If you're looking for some sleazy 'exploitation' revenge cinema of an exceedingly offbeat distinction, than I'd say "Defenceless: A Blood Symphony" is a sufficient sampling, if there ever was one. It's a strange blend of rape/revenge and 'art film'.
Apparently, there's this gang of corporate land developers who were hoping to erect some kind of hotel within the vicinity of a family's home. It doesn't appear that the husband and wife were too willing to sign over the deed so shit gets ugly and the developers kill the husband. After that, they target wifey's lesbian lover - afterwards, sending her a snuff film and severed head. Next, she is raped and brutalized and so is her young son. After nine months, her body washes up on the beach and is, somehow, resurrected as some kind of hobbling, vengeance-fueled cannibal that sleeps under water. She ends up exacting revenge against the scummy goons that killed her family, who have seemingly moved onto violent child porn...
Like I said, "Defenceless" is an odd take on the 'rape/revenge' film. Completely dialog-free and going the total slow-burn route until the last 20 minutes or so when we get to some nicely bloody torture/murder scenes. There's a nice amount of vaginal mutilation and two exceptionally gruesome scenes of crude penis removal. So you end up getting a suitable amount of bloodshed, but, as a whole, I found "Defenceless" to be a very well made film with a pretty strong performance from the female lead and some beautiful cinematography. The entire movie seemed to have a peculiarly calming and serene element, helped along by the odd transformation of the main character and, of course, the classical score that accompanied a large portion of the film. Some parts were a little TOO drawn out and slow, I thought, but for the most part this tone worked well. So, if you happen to dig 'exploitation'-art films with sleaze AND some aesthetic substance, than you gotta check out this Australian delight.
I must say, "All the Devil's Aliens" was almost a decent flick from Chemical Burn. Almost. And if you are unfamiliar with CB, than you must know that it is very out of the ordinary for one of their releases to contain one iota of cinematic competency.
This one involves a male nurse whose new job has him sent out into the woods to look after a mysterious, sickly, agoraphobic old man who is known for being rather unpleasant. Once he gets there, he's greeted by the frazzled and weeping former care provider who utters some over-the-top foreboding words before driving off, as well as the current nurse who starts showing him the ropes, but not allowing him into the old man's room. Still, he gets to hear the old fucker's endless bitching and cruel insults through the baby monitor in the kitchen. Shit starts getting strange when the newbie nurse keeps noticing dark figures scampering around the woods surrounding the house and when his partner goes missing later that night, he's forced to confront the old man which is when the movie takes a drastically bizarre turn...
The whole first act of the film is very slow-paced and drawn out - pretty much just two people yapping in a kitchen, though, while taking far too long and being relatively dull, this sets an interesting and somewhat 'mystifying' tone. Then, once the old man is revealed and some glowing-eyed aliens start turning up, I was starting to perk up a little bit, though I still had no idea what the fuck was going on. Finally, it looked like a semi-climactic ending was in sight but, then... it kept going. And started getting stupid and even MORE convoluted as more explaination was attempted, to the point where I had to just give up, sit back and wait for this thing to clumsily come to a conclusion.
So, "All the Devil's Aliens" had, what could have been, an interesting premise, but was just a bumbling, disjointed, directionless mess overall. Hell, the acting and production value was surprisingly good for a Chemical Burn flick, I noticed - as opposed to the usual micro-budget, SOV horse shit they seem so infatuated with. I only wish this one hadn't dropped the ball and went on too long with incomprehensibly silly "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and muppet-corpse ballroom dancing ridiculousness.
"Conjoined"is a pretty enjoyable horror-comedy that I ended up digging a lot more than I expected. It starts off with this straitlaced nerdy guy who hooks up with a hot chick over the internet who he talks into moving in with him. Upon finally meeting her face to face, he is shocked to find out that she is connected at the hip to her siamese twin sister. As you would assume, shit starts getting awkward when sis starts feeling left out of the romance that she is forced to witness going on with her sibling and her new man, so they decide to set her up on a few dates. Turns out, the bitchy and sarcastic 'third wheel' REALLY doesn't like men too much which is evident when the bodies of potential suitors start piling up...
It's not a great flick, but I found it to be a fun watch. Some of the dialog was kinda funny, plus there was a few scenes of decent gore - namely a cock being chomped and spit across a room. It moves along at a brisk pace, has a quirky... almost sitcom-ish vibe, as well, and offers up some goofy entertainment.
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