Some Kind of Hate (2015)

"Some Kind of Hate" is a supernatural-slasher that managed to squander any possible potential - of which there WAS a glimmer - in favor of just an abundance of emo, cry baby bullshit.

After retaliating against a bully with a fork to the face, a mopey outcast is sent to some kind of reform retreat out in the desert. Now he's bullied by a new group of assholes until he encounters the ghost of a girl who was driven to commit suicide years ago by former camp attendees. She has this 'power' where any harm she causes to herself with her razor blade necklace is inflicted upon the bully she's pursuing...

This is a decent enough idea that could've worked better had they not reduced the entire movie to just a slow-paced, anti-bullying PSA. The razor blade girl is a very ineffective presence, overall, who looks about as creepy or imposing as a Hot Topic shopper and the gore was nothing special, if not a bit repetitive and boring. Not to mention consisting of an overuse of CGI blood effects.

"Some Kind of Hate" is a dull revenge/slasher flick that does more whining about bullying and angsty teen shit than anything of any real interest. Except, maybe, the scene of the chick getting her legs cut up by proxy, courtesy of the ghost girl. That was kinda hot...

Suspiria (1977)

I think it's safe to say that Dario Argento's "Suspiria" is pretty much universally regarded as one of the top dogs of Italian horror and nothing short of a masterpiece. Striking atmosphere, creepiness and some savage gore - though I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, I'm sure.

An American girl flies into Germany to attend a prominent dance academy, but is greeted by a girl inexplicably fleeing the school in the middle of the night. We see as this girl makes her way in the pouring rain to a dormitory where her and a friend are brutally murdered by an unseen assailant. Back at the academy, the newcomer is noticing some unsettling situations transpiring, involving the blind pianist's seeing-eye dog attacking people, maggots falling from the ceiling and a furtive directress with a peculiar snore... Turns out there's some occult-type shit going on with the witchy instructors and anyone who catches on to this is slaughtered by preternatural killer...

As it's known, the vibrant color scheme and 'art deco-ish' backdrops are essentially what people take away from "Suspiria" and what has garnered it it's iconic status more or less. And rightfully so - the movie looks awesome. On top of that, you've got some graphic kills - the stand-out, of course, being the stained glass window brutalization - and there's the dour, memorable score by Goblin. "Suspiria" is a just a creepy flick with a grim and strange story, enveloped in a radiant neon color aesthetic while delivering on some nice, meaty violence. There's very little to not appreciate about "Suspiria".

Offerings (1989)

Lameass "Halloween" knock-off with really nothing going for it. Hence, I'm going to keep this short.

The weird, mute boy is neighborhood bully prey and ends up falling down a well. Cut to ten years later and he's in the hospital, disfigured and catatonic. He breaks out and starts killing off the now teenage bullies that were responsible for his accident...

"Offerings" is about as forgettable as they come. The death scenes are either completely bloodless or off-screen... Or both. I don't recall any nudity from any of the valley girl non-actors and the killer couldn't have looked more uninteresting. And what was with the pizza toppings? Am I to assume he took the time to cook up human meat and bribe the delivery boy to add it to the pizzas? What a fucking stupid, boring slasher flick. I regret wasting my time...

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

I hadn't seen this one in years and was happy to finally revisit this classick the other night. This is easily the best 'melt movie' ever ("Street Trash", of course, coming in at a close second...) and I don't care who disagrees with that. All hail Rick Baker and his gooey skills!

During a space mission, a crew of astronauts are exposed to heavy radiation around the rings of Saturn and Steve is the only one on the shuttle to return to Earth alive. However, he's in pretty bad shape as his body is gradually melting, though he now possesses heightened physical strength. After escaping from the hospital, he goes on a rampage through the town while a scientist tries to catch up with him and contain his radioactive rage...

"The Incredible Melting Man" is done very much in the tradition of '40s and '50s sc-fi movies, just with a slimier, gorier 'edge'. Steve, the melting man, looks great as he's scaring and tearing towns folk up while literally falling apart along the way. You got a few memorable scenes, such as the old lemon-stealing couple, a severed head going over a waterfall in slow-motion and hitting the jagged rocks below and, of course, one sorry motherfucker getting tossed into some power lines. Awesome demise! Just an all-around fun, straight-foward flick. If you haven't checked it out, do so.

There's Nothing Out There (1991)

I guess I've seen worse as far as self-aware indie- horror/comedies go, so in all fairness, "There's Nothing Out There" wasn't a total misfire. I just found it more annoying than witty, overall.

Some high school friends drive up to - you guessed it - a vacation home out in the woods for spring break. They end up having to fight off a frog-faced, tentacled creature that shoots mind controlling laser-beams out of it's eyes and wants to procreate with the women...

It's one of those movies that throws a bunch of cliches out there in order to spoof the genre, so I can't really give it shit for that. Much of the heavily forced humor fell flat, for me at least, and the obnoxious, over-the-top, nonstop sarcastic delivery of the horror nerd character got particularly irritating. Good points were the girls are pretty much in their panties or bikinis for the majority of the movie, which gave me enough reason to coast on through the run-time. That's really all I got on this one. There's worse shit like this out there but I still can't recommend it.

Let My Puppets Come (1976)

The porn industry of the '70s would just try anything. Puppet porno? Why not! I'm not sure if there was some niche at the time that would actually find this shit spank worthy or if it was just universally seen as a goof, but you can't rule out puppet fetishes. Hell, I've seen people fuck MUCH weirder things. Anyways...

So, some puppet businessmen need an idea to save their broke company so they decide to get into the porno game.

The very first puppet-on-puppet sex scene involves bestiality (strong start...), then you got a puppet cum-shot, quite a few puppet BJ's, an ad for a vaginal hygiene spray called Sweet Fish (Haha!) and a black puppet that is creepy as fuck. There's a few human cameos - Al Goldstein and Ralphus, the midget from "Blood Sucking Freaks", are blown by some puppets. There's also a human chick getting spanked by a puppet... "Let My Puppets Come" is kind of entertaining - directed by the legendary Gerard Damiano of "Deep Throat/Devil in Miss Jones" fame. It DOES get a bit boring and redundant at times, which is expected from many porn parodies/comedies. Overall, it's worth a look to quell your curiosity or put on with some friends around and get hammered.