Asylum of Satan (1972)

I'm kind of a sucker for '70s movies set in mental hospitals and - throw in some Satan for good measure - and you got my attention. "Asylum of Satan" isn't a good film by any stretch of the imagination and maybe I was just in a good mood when I watched it (which is weird considering I watched this sometime around one in the afternoon, stone sober...), but I kind of enjoyed it more than I feel it deserves.

Simple premise involving a woman who wakes up in a funny farm run by a Satanic cult leader who needs her for a sacrifice, all while her fiance is struggling to gain access to the mysteriously impregnable facility. A few of the other handicapped patients are killed off along the way and we round things out with a paper-mache devil creature...

This thing is cheezy all around - from the shitty looking bugs pulled on fishing line, to rubber snakes attacking a blind chick in a swimming pool, horrible looking fake facial hair and the aforementioned homemade Satan monster at the end. At the same time, it's oddly watchable if you're in the mood to not be too impressed and just laugh at something goofy. Moderately recommended to drive-in trash fans.

Bloodrage (1979)

Early on I had relatively high hopes of "Bloodrage" shaping out to be a pretty gritty serial killer joint, but as time wore on I was more let down by how slow and light on kills it was. Looks like Joseph Zito (credited here as Joseph Bigwood - who should've made this a porno with a pseudonym like that) didn't quite hit his stride until a few years later with "The Prowler" and then "Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter".

A sexually embittered young man kills a part-time country prostitute and, after disposing of her body where he's convinced it'll never be found, he moves out to the mean streets of '70s New York where we hear through some very inconsistent inner voice-over monologue that he can continue to kill, undetected, in these dense, scummy urban streets. Meanwhile, a local rural cop and longtime 'john' of the dead hooker goes looking through NYC for her whereabouts, having prior knowledge that she planned on stripping there as the boyish killer goes on angrily murdering young women.

What few kills there were happened to be fairly mean and misogynistic and there's a decent amount of female nudity to keep things rolling along. Also, Lawrence Tierney has a small, random part as an expectedly gruff cop and I really dig anything set in this era of sleazy shithole New York to some degree. Aside from these moderate 'perks', "Bloodrage" is still pretty dull and the 'action' (kills) were too few and far between for my liking. I DID, however, crack up at this things' totally out-of-nowhere and abrupt ending. Kudos for that! Still doesn't make the overall movie worth one's time, hate to say.

Halloween (2018)

I let my expectations get considerably high for this sequel (as many did, I'm sure) that stupidly shares its name with the original which is the one thing that continues to really irk me to no end. Seeing what could only be a return-to-form for Michael Myers in that it's playing out as a direct follow-up to the 1978 original and disregarding the first "Halloween 2" - as well as each subsequent sequel - seemed promising enough for what it's worth. After blowing into my local theater and checking out this heavily praised revival, there was really nothing about it that rocked me.

Looks like, after taking six rounds and falling off the balcony back on that fateful night, Michael was whisked off to the 'funny farm' for the next 40-years. During this time, Laurie Strode became a paranoid shut-in - estranged from her family and preparing for that next inevitable altercation with the babysitter killer. Following a visit from a pair of investigative journalists with Michael in the mental facility and, undoubtedly rekindling some of that murderous hostility, he escapes custody while being transferred to a maximum security prison. Conveniently, he gets hold of his old mask, makes his way to Haddonfield and starts offing Laurie's granddaughter's friends. This, of course, gets back to Laurie and she gets to put her years of target practice and home security device amassing to good use on the anniversary of her initial encounter with Mike.

One problem is; I really like 1981's "Halloween 2". Watching it back-to-back with the first film makes it feel like one epic slasher all set on one festively violent night as I find both movies have the same 'feel', overall. Also, people were losing their shit over Mikey and Laurie Strode having their big showdown and, as far as I'm concerned, that would've been truly spectacular if only... it hadn't already been done and - yeah, shoot me - BETTER in "Halloween: H20". I know, everybody pretty much hates that flick and I, myself, am not the biggest fan as it really didn't age well, seeing as how it came out of the mid-to-late 90s, "Scream"-clone period of cookie-cutter, teeny-bopper slashers. Even so, and I'm sure I'm in the minority, but that shit aside, the final skirmish in THAT movie tops this new one, for sure. Jamie Lee going all gun-toting Rambo-granny just struck me as cheesy and such a far cry from anything her character was like in the first film. I'm fine with her coming out swinging 40-years later and capping some rounds into her returning masked aggressor, but this was just way too 'commando' for my liking. Plus, her rustic wooded residence being decked out with hidden arsenals, steal spike traps and lock-down shutters was so over-the-top ridiculous, I couldn't get behind it. I hate to keep drawing comparisons, but something more akin to her character in "H20", which I think was a much better 'splitting the difference' of her virginal babysitter role in the original and ol' Lock-n-Load Strode from this 2018 film.

For the most part, Michael Myers is a joy to watch, as always - making his rounds through Haddonfield and fucking folks up. There's a few decent gore scenes and some cool, unbroken shots following him around. However, I was still getting a strong Rob Zombie-vibe off of him in this one, especially in certain scenes of particular brute-force violence - namely, a bloody head-stomping and rest stop stall skull-slamming; both of which were VERY reminiscent of Zombie's interpretation of Myers and not so much of the shadow-lurking phantom presence he was in Carpenter's film. In fact, we get a LOT of on-screen, up close and personal shit with Michael in this one which works if you're looking for pure slasher content, but not so much if you're expecting something 'spooky' or remotely subtle, as "The Shape" was almost a half a century ago.

So, aside from my gripes and comparisons, this movie IS a well done sequel. It LOOKS good, with some great lighting at times and the aforementioned shots of Michael stalking around town. The classic Carpenter theme music is back in full force, with a cool 'spin' or two thrown in a few times, such as some guitar chugs in a certain scene.

With the exception of "Halloween 2" ('81), this definitely IS the best sequel of the franchise. It's got the right 'feel', for the most part, and it's cool seeing Jamie Lee back in action. Quite a few references to the original, as well as the sequels it's ignoring, which was alright. Had the ending packed a bit more of a punch and felt a bit more 'personal' between our main foes I think this would've definitely capped things off nicely. I just think they dropped the ball having it all take place in a a little house which got a bit daunting and for the fact that it never really provides that "FUCK YEAH" moment you'd expect between Laurie and Mike. In all, "Halloween '18" is good and well worth checking out, though not the definitive wrap-up I was hoping for.

Digging Up the Marrow (2014)

Having liked what I've seen from Adam Green, such as his "Hatchet" series - which I'll admit, as I write this, I have not yet seen all of them, but I intend to eventually. I remember liking "Frozen", too, so I was interested in checking out another non-"Hatchet" related film from him. "Digging Up the Marrow" didn't at all sound like it would be up my alley due to the 'found-footage' style and the general premise and it really didn't end up deviating from my initial expectations.

Green plays himself, who receives a package from a guy claiming he can provide proof of the existence of actual monsters. Along with his cameraman, Green shoots interviews with the man who eventually takes them out into the woods where the entrance to the apparent monsters' world is located. They end up capturing one of the elusive mutants on camera and become desperate to come up with more solid evidence, though the guy they're following around starts coming across as more and more 'shifty' and nutty as they go on which makes them begin to question the validity of his claims.

The best thing about this movie is the natural performances from Green and his buddy as well as Ray Wise being all crazy (brought back fond memories of "Twin Peaks"...). There's also a few special appearances from Tom Holland, Mick Garris, Lloyd Kaufman, Kane Hodder and Dave Brockie (in his final on-camera appearance), which was cool too, though it was mostly just done while Green was at horror con's. Once we start seeing more of the creatures things really go downhill. They look stupid and the end was pretty lame. I hope Adam Green stays away from making 'mock-docs' in the future.

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Who could possibly not enjoy the first two "Sleepaway Camp" sequels? They are just two of the purest examples of shamelessly mindless slasher mush to emerge from the horror-heavy '80s. Huge body count, fun kills, plenty of nekkid broads and nothing even close to a fucking story to impede on any of that good stuff!

It's a few years later and Angela is out of the mental hospital with a full sex change operation under her belt (har har) and is running a tight ship as a counselor at another summer camp. The prudish bitch goes about "sending home" any of the campers who engage in inappropriate activity. Sending home by means of murder, of course.

The great thing about "Sleepaway Camp" 2 (and 3) is that they are total and complete 'exploitation' cash-grabs that merely provide the 'meat-and-potatoes' of the slasher subset. I mean, hell, by the late '80s this kinda thing was dying down in popularity so why try so damn hard to be clever? And there is literally NO attempts at building tension, suspense, mystery or story arcs. We know Angela is the killer from the get-go so there's no big reveal. This may all sound like the makings of a really shitty film, but for what it is and how it doesn't take itself at all seriously, it's a very entertaining and rapidly paced little flick. The kills aren't insanely gory, but a few are cool, like a decent throat slashing, some sluts getting torched alive, a nice decapitation and the best: a camper being drowned in a shit-filled outhouse! In all, I counted 18 kills in about 80-minutes. All slasher hounds gotta check both of these movies out.

Blood Shed (2013)

Total fucking waste of time snoozer. I firmly believe it takes a conscious effort to pull off a concept as poorly as they did with "Blood Shed" so, in that regard, fucking KUDOS!

A homeless guy gets a key from some relative that opens up the family self storage unit. There's some back story having to do with his hot mother making a deal with some kind of voodoo witch before she gets pregnant and her husband kills her and removes her baby. Now, she's back from the dead while her son and some other bums are locked overnight in the storage facility...

I don't know, something like that. There's really nothing interesting going on in this movie, hence, the horrendously slow pace. This shit is DULL and virtually incoherent with not a single likeable or moderately developed character and no gore to speak of. Also, with a title like "Blood Shed" I wasn't quite expecting storage lockers. More like a tool shed or something. That may have lent to my disappointment since tool sheds are vastly cooler than storage units.