Halloween (2018)

I let my expectations get considerably high for this sequel (as many did, I'm sure) that stupidly shares its name with the original which is the one thing that continues to really irk me to no end. Seeing what could only be a return-to-form for Michael Myers in that it's playing out as a direct follow-up to the 1978 original and disregarding the first "Halloween 2" - as well as each subsequent sequel - seemed promising enough for what it's worth. After blowing into my local theater and checking out this heavily praised revival, there was really nothing about it that rocked me.

Looks like, after taking six rounds and falling off the balcony back on that fateful night, Michael was whisked off to the 'funny farm' for the next 40-years. During this time, Laurie Strode became a paranoid shut-in - estranged from her family and preparing for that next inevitable altercation with the babysitter killer. Following a visit from a pair of investigative journalists with Michael in the mental facility and, undoubtedly rekindling some of that murderous hostility, he escapes custody while being transferred to a maximum security prison. Conveniently, he gets hold of his old mask, makes his way to Haddonfield and starts offing Laurie's granddaughter's friends. This, of course, gets back to Laurie and she gets to put her years of target practice and home security device amassing to good use on the anniversary of her initial encounter with Mike.

One problem is; I really like 1981's "Halloween 2". Watching it back-to-back with the first film makes it feel like one epic slasher all set on one festively violent night as I find both movies have the same 'feel', overall. Also, people were losing their shit over Mikey and Laurie Strode having their big showdown and, as far as I'm concerned, that would've been truly spectacular if only... it hadn't already been done and - yeah, shoot me - BETTER in "Halloween: H20". I know, everybody pretty much hates that flick and I, myself, am not the biggest fan as it really didn't age well, seeing as how it came out of the mid-to-late 90s, "Scream"-clone period of cookie-cutter, teeny-bopper slashers. Even so, and I'm sure I'm in the minority, but that shit aside, the final skirmish in THAT movie tops this new one, for sure. Jamie Lee going all gun-toting Rambo-granny just struck me as cheesy and such a far cry from anything her character was like in the first film. I'm fine with her coming out swinging 40-years later and capping some rounds into her returning masked aggressor, but this was just way too 'commando' for my liking. Plus, her rustic wooded residence being decked out with hidden arsenals, steal spike traps and lock-down shutters was so over-the-top ridiculous, I couldn't get behind it. I hate to keep drawing comparisons, but something more akin to her character in "H20", which I think was a much better 'splitting the difference' of her virginal babysitter role in the original and ol' Lock-n-Load Strode from this 2018 film.

For the most part, Michael Myers is a joy to watch, as always - making his rounds through Haddonfield and fucking folks up. There's a few decent gore scenes and some cool, unbroken shots following him around. However, I was still getting a strong Rob Zombie-vibe off of him in this one, especially in certain scenes of particular brute-force violence - namely, a bloody head-stomping and rest stop stall skull-slamming; both of which were VERY reminiscent of Zombie's interpretation of Myers and not so much of the shadow-lurking phantom presence he was in Carpenter's film. In fact, we get a LOT of on-screen, up close and personal shit with Michael in this one which works if you're looking for pure slasher content, but not so much if you're expecting something 'spooky' or remotely subtle, as "The Shape" was almost a half a century ago.

So, aside from my gripes and comparisons, this movie IS a well done sequel. It LOOKS good, with some great lighting at times and the aforementioned shots of Michael stalking around town. The classic Carpenter theme music is back in full force, with a cool 'spin' or two thrown in a few times, such as some guitar chugs in a certain scene.

With the exception of "Halloween 2" ('81), this definitely IS the best sequel of the franchise. It's got the right 'feel', for the most part, and it's cool seeing Jamie Lee back in action. Quite a few references to the original, as well as the sequels it's ignoring, which was alright. Had the ending packed a bit more of a punch and felt a bit more 'personal' between our main foes I think this would've definitely capped things off nicely. I just think they dropped the ball having it all take place in a a little house which got a bit daunting and for the fact that it never really provides that "FUCK YEAH" moment you'd expect between Laurie and Mike. In all, "Halloween '18" is good and well worth checking out, though not the definitive wrap-up I was hoping for.

Digging Up the Marrow (2014)

Having liked what I've seen from Adam Green, such as his "Hatchet" series - which I'll admit, as I write this, I have not yet seen all of them, but I intend to eventually. I remember liking "Frozen", too, so I was interested in checking out another non-"Hatchet" related film from him. "Digging Up the Marrow" didn't at all sound like it would be up my alley due to the 'found-footage' style and the general premise and it really didn't end up deviating from my initial expectations.

Green plays himself, who receives a package from a guy claiming he can provide proof of the existence of actual monsters. Along with his cameraman, Green shoots interviews with the man who eventually takes them out into the woods where the entrance to the apparent monsters' world is located. They end up capturing one of the elusive mutants on camera and become desperate to come up with more solid evidence, though the guy they're following around starts coming across as more and more 'shifty' and nutty as they go on which makes them begin to question the validity of his claims.

The best thing about this movie is the natural performances from Green and his buddy as well as Ray Wise being all crazy (brought back fond memories of "Twin Peaks"...). There's also a few special appearances from Tom Holland, Mick Garris, Lloyd Kaufman, Kane Hodder and Dave Brockie (in his final on-camera appearance), which was cool too, though it was mostly just done while Green was at horror con's. Once we start seeing more of the creatures things really go downhill. They look stupid and the end was pretty lame. I hope Adam Green stays away from making 'mock-docs' in the future.

Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Who could possibly not enjoy the first two "Sleepaway Camp" sequels? They are just two of the purest examples of shamelessly mindless slasher mush to emerge from the horror-heavy '80s. Huge body count, fun kills, plenty of nekkid broads and nothing even close to a fucking story to impede on any of that good stuff!

It's a few years later and Angela is out of the mental hospital with a full sex change operation under her belt (har har) and is running a tight ship as a counselor at another summer camp. The prudish bitch goes about "sending home" any of the campers who engage in inappropriate activity. Sending home by means of murder, of course.

The great thing about "Sleepaway Camp" 2 (and 3) is that they are total and complete 'exploitation' cash-grabs that merely provide the 'meat-and-potatoes' of the slasher subset. I mean, hell, by the late '80s this kinda thing was dying down in popularity so why try so damn hard to be clever? And there is literally NO attempts at building tension, suspense, mystery or story arcs. We know Angela is the killer from the get-go so there's no big reveal. This may all sound like the makings of a really shitty film, but for what it is and how it doesn't take itself at all seriously, it's a very entertaining and rapidly paced little flick. The kills aren't insanely gory, but a few are cool, like a decent throat slashing, some sluts getting torched alive, a nice decapitation and the best: a camper being drowned in a shit-filled outhouse! In all, I counted 18 kills in about 80-minutes. All slasher hounds gotta check both of these movies out.

Blood Shed (2013)

Total fucking waste of time snoozer. I firmly believe it takes a conscious effort to pull off a concept as poorly as they did with "Blood Shed" so, in that regard, fucking KUDOS!

A homeless guy gets a key from some relative that opens up the family self storage unit. There's some back story having to do with his hot mother making a deal with some kind of voodoo witch before she gets pregnant and her husband kills her and removes her baby. Now, she's back from the dead while her son and some other bums are locked overnight in the storage facility...

I don't know, something like that. There's really nothing interesting going on in this movie, hence, the horrendously slow pace. This shit is DULL and virtually incoherent with not a single likeable or moderately developed character and no gore to speak of. Also, with a title like "Blood Shed" I wasn't quite expecting storage lockers. More like a tool shed or something. That may have lent to my disappointment since tool sheds are vastly cooler than storage units.

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1964)

Coffin Joe just doesn't get enough credit for how ahead of his time he was with his debut film and kick-off to the Coffin Joe Trilogy, "At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul". This is some surprisingly violent and blasphemous shit by 1960s standards and is even cited as being Brazil's first horror film.

José Mojica Marins (Coffin Joe) stars as the undertaker of a small Brazilian village who pretty much revels in being the social misfit of his close-knit community. He looks down on the God-fearing lemmings that he cohabitates with - disregarding their beliefs as weak willed superstition and has no qualms against voicing it publicly. Resenting his wife, who is unable to provided him with a son to carry on his bloodline, he takes a liking to his buddy's chick and goes so far as to kill him in order to get with her. Only this doesn't go totally as planned and more people end up getting killed by him which leads to his soul being damned to Hell.

Not only does "At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul" have a good amount of anti-God ranting from CJ, but it's also got bloody finger removal, death-by-venomous-spider, rape, suicide, eye-gouging, crown-of-thorns facial disfigurement... This is a dark, angry, rebellious film that's 'statement' and content was extremely fucking ballsy, at least by U.S. standards of the time. I'm not too sure as to the 'climate' of Brazil in the mid-60s, though, based on some 'exploitation' and XXX-material I've seen come outta there a decade or so after this, they're clearly a little more 'out there' and 'kooky' to say the least when it comes to their cinema. Coffin Joe is a truly iconic, badass persona and "At Midnight..." is a fantastic and groundbreaking horror film that - like the early horror works of H.G. Lewis - are essential for fans of more 'extreme' types of films.

Revenge (2017)

The best way I can think to sum up "Revenge" is: "I Spit on Your Grave" mixed with a Coyote/roadrunner cartoon. It's a rape/revenge film that wantonly says "fuck it" to presenting any semblance of plausibility - instead, aiming for the most hysterically convenient series of events and encounters on record.

A wealthy Belgian guy is shacking up with his hottie mistress at a lavish desert home when a few of his Arab hunting buddies show up. They all party and she gets a little 'loose' with one of them during a dance, giving him the wrong idea in thinking that she's into him. When she turns down his advances the next day, he gets pissed off and rapes her while the boyfriend is away and the other friend turns a blind eye. When the boyfriend returns and finds out what happened, she's dismayed by how lightly he takes it and when he refuses to call her a ride home, she makes a run for it. Without going into too much detail, she's attacked by the slimy trio and left for dead, only to survive and exact bloody REVENGE.

Just for living through what happens to her is inane enough, but how she frees herself from the perilous situation is even more preposterous. And a scene in which she cauterizes her wounds with red hot beer can aluminum that brands the logo on her body (not to mention the wound disappears...), I found absolutely hilarious. Throughout the movie - and especially in the final 10-minutes - characters lose SO much fucking blood from rifle gut-blasts, to impalement's, and react no more severely then if they had a pebble in their shoe. Hell, the Terminator expressed more physical anguish then the bubblehead-turned-badass female lead in this film. All this said, I found it impossible not to just accept all this and go along for the entertaining ride that was "Revenge". Clearly, they knew what they were doing in purposely going so far over-the-top with what characters endure that shitting on the movie based on all this would be pretty redundant. I can't say I loved this flick by any means and in no way would it rank anywhere among the rape/revenge 'greats' like "I Spit on Your Grave" or "Ms .45", however, it's well worth checking out for a fun, visually pleasing, ridiculous watch.