The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1975, Charles B. Pierce)

"The Town That Dreaded Sundown" is, what you could consider, an archetypal slasher that does the job of generally profiling the infamous case of the "Phantom Killer". The hooded figured attacked eight people around Texas and Arkansas in 1946, killing five before suddenly and mysteriously stopping...

The film portrays the killer's attacks well with some suspense and mild carnage, though it suffers from extensive tedium as well as awkward and out-of-place comedic interjections. Certain moments were so haphazardly ridiculous that I started having a real hard time understanding the "point" of the film. I can't fault a biopic for possibly shoe-horning in a few inaccuracies for the sake of entertainment, but tying a knife to a trombone slide and stabbing someone while mock-playing it was beyond asinine and completely ruined the effectiveness of the scene. Wes Craven's "Last House on the Left" was also impaired by a similar problem involving disarranged humor that detracted from the "horror" of the story. Many of the scenes in "The Town That Dreaded Sundown" dealt with bumbling cops in utterly needless, drawn out lulls that were also quite bothersome to me.

Can't call the film a total loss since we DO get Mary Anne from "Gilligan's Island" getting shot in the face TWICE. Her limited screen time was what made the movie worthwhile, if you ask me. TTTDS is a bit disappointing for me, at least, but fan's of proto-slasher 70s serial killer bios might wanna peep it out. I just didn't get all that much out of it...

Case 39 (2009, Christian Alvert)

In all honesty, I expected to hate this movie and while I didn't necessarily find it to be "good", I took away from it a surprising amount of (possibly) unintentional hilarity that made for some pretty entertaining viewing. "Case 39" reeks of shittiness - from the trailers and TV spots that promoted nothing but Hollywood clichés and Renee Zellweger's puckered, squinty face screaming with all the intensity that freakish face could muster, but what it all boiled down too after breathing a sigh of reluctance and actually beginning the film... I just laughed my ass off!

If you've seen "Orphan" and, maybe "The Last Exorcism", this flick is a combination of both elements involving psychotic kids and demonic kids. More of that. Renee Puckersquint plays a social worker who interviews a seemingly dysfunctional family whom she assumes is harboring a neglected child. She gets a call one night from the ten year old girl who says she's is in trouble and Renee runs to the rescue to find the parents stuffing the screaming kid into an oven. Incident clumsily averted and the parents are arrested while the little girl goes to live with Renee Lemonface-Chipmunkcheeks. Kid seems fine at first, but as it turns out, she's a 'lil demon (maybe the Devil) and kills a few of Renee's friends before threatening her own life...

The highlight of the film is definitely the bee scene, in which a yuppie douche-bag (with an admitted fear of bees) starts pulling bees out of his ears and soon his eyes until he eventually goes berserk and kills himself. There's also a dude who is attacked by a guard dog in his car, but instead of shooting the dog, he shoots HIMSELF in the head! Hardly a scene goes by without something downright hysterical taking place, for example - a fat Japanese guy with a little girl voice, the demon girl swan diving out a window and then go running in that choppy, fast-motion style that Hollywood seems to find so "scary", and, of course, when she does the equally typical crawl from "The Grudge"! "Case 39" is so fucking ridiculously dumb that it could no doubt be passed off as comic gold! Check it out!

Tideland (2005, Terry Gilliam)

Terry Gilliam's "Tideland" is a true masterpiece. I'm finding it hard to come up with an appropriate assessment on the film since it is really something that just needs to be seen. I'll do my best...

It's about a young girl - maybe 9 or 10 - who lives in squalor with her junkie parents in a shitty apartment. When her mother (Jennifer Tilly) dies from a methadone overdose, she and her rock star father (Jeff Bridges) quickly pack up and hit the road, headed for the dad's childhood home out in the country. As she is accostomed, she helps shoot her father up with heroine and he becomes unresponisive for the following days/weeks. The girl, seemingly unaware of her father's death, begins a whole new life around the isolated farmhouse with her best friends - a collection of Barbie doll heads. She eventually meets a odd duo whom she strikes up a bond with. The one is a 'ghostly' older woman shrouded in black clothing and the other is a friendly young man with severe mental retardation...

Honestly, the majority of the movie is devoid of a conclusive "plot", which is what makes "Tideland" such an interesting experience. Every single character, setting, emotion, or functioning is up to the viewers own proclivity to interpret. Strangely though, I'm not even sure if "Tideland" is a movie that was meant to be interpreted. The objective was based soley on childhood imagination, as Terry Gilliam states in his opening introduction on the DVD. In that regard, I'm conflicted but it in no way detracts from the impact this film undeniably invokes on the right viewer. As Gilliam says in his brief comment, "Some people will HATE the movie, though some will love it". Those not willing to accept such brash topics such as young minded fantasy, isolation, apparent manipulation and traces of pedophilia will no doubt dismiss the movie. No question - "Tideland" is a disturbing film with such a nightmarish tone that I may be difficult for some people to stomach, but those who long for challenging film perspicacity will certainly take something away from the film. Highly, highly recommended.

Cannibal Terror (1981, Alain Deruelle)

Awful 'cannibal' film. From what I've seen it is quite possibly the worst but as a fan of the horror genre, I am compelled to watch whatever happens to be on the "video nasties" list if it finds it's way to me. "Cannibal Terror" was one I had heard a little about and thought would be fun just to see how god-awful it was. I wasn't disappointed on that end. This this was a fuckin' hoot-and-a-half! No regrets, overall.

The plot is a heavily 'padded' mess involving two crooks who kidnap very young daughter of a rich man and hold up in Cannibal Country. A woman gets raped, the rapist gets eaten by cannibals (courtesy of a vengeful father), some nothing happens, cannibals dance, close-ups of cheezy looking disembowelment's, and, finally, me having to run an errand and never returning to the film...

Of course, the real biggie about "Cannibal Terror" is the horrible cast of white "cannibals", many of which appear to be sporting chic hairdos, complete with mutton chops and a few perms, I believe I spotted amongst the awkward looking bunch. Yes. I laughed. I also laughed at the poor dubbing and general lack of spirit brought to the table from those who made this atrocious bore. There is nothing disturbing, exciting, insightful, or remotely memorable about "Cannibal Terror" aside from it's flaws. If any real effort was put into this movie it certainly doesn't register within the final product. Fuck, the title is even embarrassingly generic.

This is one 'cannibal' film to skip or if you want a few cheap laughs, just watch a little bit of it...

The Beyond (1981, Lucio Fulci)

I'm such a Fulci fan. Have been for ages, though "The Beyond" is the one that leaves me tingling with exuberant reverences of fanatical, gore-gasmic glee! All of his films pretty much satisfy me in one way or another, but "The Beyond" always struck me as Fulci's most solid, straight-forward horror film.

A chick inherits an old Louisiana hotel that holds a gateway to Hell... Then a bunch of cool shit happens!

"The Beyond" - a.k.a. "Seven Doors of Death" - is the second part in Fulci's grand "Gates of Hell" trilogy and definately prods the deepest into theological conceptions of afterlife through the eyes of the atheist film maker. However, nothing gets in the way of the Italian maverick's over-the-top depictions of mutilation that earned this film a spot in the coveted "video nasties" list of fame. Anyone who has seen ONE of Lucio's films knows he was a man who loved eyeball gore. Ripping, gouging, puncturing - it's all about the destruction of optical organs. Probably the best example of this is featured in the long ass tarantula scene...

Aside from the gruesome content "The Beyond" delivers so perfectly, the production quality is great in setting a creepy mood with crisp lighting and brooding atmosphere. There's some downright spooky scenes, such as the build-up to the hot, blind chick's demise and the hotel finally being over-run with walking corpses shown through an exterior shot of lighted windows. The very end is bizarre and somewhat of a 'downer'.

If you're a Fulci fan (though I know some, definately, are NOT), "The Beyond" will rock your world. Fulci lives!

The Holy Mountain (1973, Alejandro Jodorowsky)

"The Holy Mountain" is one of the most psychedelic and artistic films ever made. I have no idea how to interpret the symbolism since religious-based metaphors and spiritualism are not really my "forte". That said, Chilean auteur, Alejandro Jodorowsky's masterpiece is an immensely absorbing mind-fuck experience...

In a nutshell, it begins with a Jesus-looking guy asleep in the dirt, with a diaper full of piss, being woken by a limbless fella whom he carries to a town that appears to be having some type of festival. A bunch of drunks make hundreds of plaster molds his body, which he destroys, angrily. Eventually, he hops onto a big fish hook that takes him to the top of a tower where a mystical figure lives and begins to mentor him on a variety of crazy shit... The movie then oddly shifts gears when it introduces - in an episodic fashion - a bunch of new characters who reside on different planets around the solar system and each have their own unique skill. They then set out in search of immortality...

The film features a giant mechanical vagina, frogs dressed in little costumes, feces being transformed into gold, and the longest scene in which a fat lady pisses into an abstract toilet! You can't make this shit up, folks!

Whether you can wrap your head around any facet of "The Holy Mountain" or not, it's still something that will appeal to fans of whacked out, art-house cinema. Much of it is ominously dream-like, yet there is plenty of weird comedic elements as well. It's not what I'd call a "great" or even a "good" film, since it's so insanely incomprehensible and a little dull in spots, however, every aspect of the film comes alive with a personal flair that Jodorowsky put into it. Despite the absurdity of much of the film, it feels authentic and it is clear that the film maker buried himself in his work (which he actually did).

If this kind of shit suits you, it's definitely one to check out. Once again, it's BIZARRE!