Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Baskin (2015)

Some twisted shit out of Turkey! "Baskin" is a movie I actually had to watch twice just to try to wrap my head around all the craziness this one throws out there.

A van full of cops are responding to a call when, along the way, they run into some weird shit darting past them on the road, ultimately causing them to crash. What follows is a brutal discovery in an old, abandoned police station that leads to them held captive for a violent and bizarre ceremony-type thing that is apparently a vital step in transitioning them into the next 'realm'.

I see it best not to go too heavily into the specifics of what goes on in "Baskin", as it's something you just gotta see for yourself as it unfolds. The movie starts out a bit slow, including some rather drawn out conversations among the cops and flash-backs revolving around a certain character. Shit, however, takes a drastic turn into total batshit crazy territory at one point and, from there, there's no telling what the fuck is going to happen or what exactly is going on... but it totally works! The films final act has a very strong 'tribal horror' vibe - even lifting a small chunk of music from "Cannibal Holocaust" during one particular scene of savagery. "Baskin" is a very strange and HIGHLY moody and atmospheric horror film - the kind of which that is right up my alley. There's a genuinely creepy 'tone' to the movie and the violence is nasty and effective. Absolutely recommended.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Bonehill Road (2017)

Low-budget horror maestro, Todd Sheets, delves into some werewolf territory with "Bonehill Road" and, as picky as I am when it comes to lycanthropy-themed flicks, I ended up digging this one more than many of its type I've seen in recent years.

Enough is enough for an abused mother who flees her dickbag husband and, along with her teenage daughter, hit the road to a relatives house. Along the way, every conceivable problem arises along a seemingly empty stretch of rural road - one of which being a gnarled tire, seemingly destroyed by an animal's claws, as well as a non-working mobile phone. Turns out, there's a trio of werewolves lurking around the dark and isolated Bonehill Road; thus, the two ladies are thrust into full-on survival mode. Shit gets even 'hairier' when they arrive at a house for help and stumble upon even MORE problems...

I gotta hand it to Mr. Sheets - with the shoe-string funds he was working with on this, he didn't skimp on the werewolf effects that, from what I've heard, ate up a significant chunk of an already pretty modest budget. And they actually look good! Not "American Werewolf in London" quality, but FAR better than the ones from the more recent and over-rated, "Late Phases". Another thing I enjoyed about this one was the odd turns it takes - especially one having to do with a deranged, sadistic non-werewolf character that pops up. I also liked the chemistry between the mother and daughter during this. Both of those performances were surprisingly solid. As for my main gripe, the ending felt a rushed and I didn't think the flashback was totally on point (playing catch... eh). But, I must say, it's made up for with the post-credit sequence involving a bonus werewolf transformation AND a few... "cameos". I'm giving this one a solid recommendation. It's got some gore, some cool looking werewolves, Linnea Quigley, and rolls along nicely with some unexpected 'turns'. It's like "Dog Soldiers" meets "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre".

Bonehill Road Facebook page

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Almost Human (2012)

"Almost Human" is a moderately enjoyable - if not just flat-out mediocre - 'sci-fi-slasher'.

One night, a frantic guy shows up at his buddy's house claiming that he saw another friend of his get pulled away by mysterious lights in the sky. As he's attempting to explain exactly what happened, the lights in the house start going screwy, a blaring sound emits out of nowhere, and THIS buddy disappears outside. Two years later, the frantic guy is still tweaking out over what he saw, while the still missing friend's girlfriend has moved on to a new relationship. Shit gets hairy when the missing man shows up in the woods and makes his way back to his small home town, killing and collecting unsuspecting people along the way...

There are a few pretty decent kills leading up to a good, albeit slightly cliched ending. In all, I didn't find anything here that was all that great, though "Almost Human" is far from awful. Worth a watch for some kinda fun death scenes.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Escape from Cannibal Farm (2017)

I had seen the trailer for this one quite a while back and remember thinking, initially, that it was a gag until I did a quick Google search and found out otherwise. It seemed like Britain had gone and done their own remake of Hooper's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" so I kept an eye out for it out of curiosity. Upon viewing this one, however... I determine that I have no idea what the fuck they were going for, here.

A family of six are on a camping trip in the British country when the mom is mysteriously set on fire in her tent and they happen upon a nearby farm for help. They're promptly attacked by a chainsaw lugging goon and his nutty father and locked up in kennels. Turns out - not surprisingly - that they are running a human meat market that is supported by the cannibal locals...

"Escape from Cannibal Farm" is an unbelievable train wreck of a movie that gets progressively worse and worse with each passing minute. The banality kicks in firmly with a 'twist' mid-way that makes no sense, considering what happened to a certain character earlier on during the initial encounter with the cannibal farmers. The Leatherface 'clone' - or as he's named here, The Boy with the Melted Face - who happens to be the best thing this movie has going for it though, ultimately, has VERY little screen-time... Which leaves us with his father whose acting is just fucking terrible! And, on top of that, he's given way too much overly dramatic dialog. The outcome of the movie is incredibly anticlimactic and convoluted - interjecting another over-actor and a pit of creatures that is as out-of-place as most everything else in this film. Aside from all the shit that doesn't make any sense (of which there is plenty more!) and horrible scene transitions (cutting from the campsite right to the family in the barn?...), this movie is just flat out boring. The majority is just people in cages and the gore level is notably low. Also, I've never seen anyone survive so long in a furnace...

"Escape from Cannibal Farm" actually started off with moderate promise - going with the family of victims, rather than young friends, ala. "The Hills Have Eyes" and going about fleshing the characters out rather well in the beginning - but promptly fell apart completely. It honestly comes close to being as big a disaster as "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation".

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009)

From what I've seen from the Soska sisters up to this point hasn't necessarily rocked my world, which now includes their directorial debut, "Dead Hooker in a Trunk". I hate feeling this way cuz I really WANT to like these kooky Canuck females who are affectionately contributing to the genre and have definitely shown some promise in the field - I just find too many problems with how their movies are structured.

Following a wild night, four nameless people discover the corpse of a prostitute in the trunk of their car and embark on a dangerous pilgrimage through sordid, junkie networks, all while trying to ditch it.

For having such a tiny budget and limited resources, Jen and Sylvia Soska did considerably well from a production standpoint. The film is shot well and contains a fairly genuine, grungy 'exploitation' tenor. The problem for me lays in the execution of the story, which comes across as a quite a bit disjointed and makes for some clunky pacing. I just found too many things that could've been cut down and other parts that actually could've been expanded upon to make the film more consistently entertaining and help the overall 'flow'. I'll still give them credit, as "Dead Hooker..." IS an ambitious first feature film effort.

Monday, January 1, 2018

Tales from the Crypt (1972)

It had been quite a few years since I'd seen "Tales from the Crypt" so it was cool to finally get around to revisiting it. This one is definitely up there as one of my favorite anthology films.

You get five stories with a wrap-around involving a group of people touring a crypt who find themselves trapped in a room with the "Crypt Keeper" (this pre-dates the puppet, for those of you who are unfamiliar...). He goes down the line, expounding to each of them their grisly fates.

The stories are all well crafted, clever and memorable - with the slight exception of the second, "Reflection of Death", which I found to be the weakest, but definitely not BAD. Joan Collins being terrorized by a deranged, Santa-clad killer after murdering her hubby on Xmas is a classic and, of course, "Wish You Were Here" which actually has a pretty damn dark and gruesome ending. Gotta love the hard-ass fucker running the home for the blind getting his comeuppance, which acts as a good 'finale' for the film. For sure a classic British horror anthology everyone should check out.